NTs and birthday presents

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My Mum is a prime example of a 100% NT =/

Every time there's her birthday or Christmas, I don't know what present to get her. So I ask her, is there anything you would like? She then goes completely mad at me for asking her what sort of present she likes and tells me off for being "so rude". I shrug my shoulders and go and buy her something I think she would like. She then opens the present on the special day and then goes mad and tells me off for buying her the wrong present and how she doesn't want it.

Erm, how can I buy the "right" present if she doesn't give me a hint? My best friend and my Dad tell me at least what category my present should be in.

Thankfully I now live in supported accommodation well away from my Mum and I never have to see her. We don't get along at all.

When I was in high school, one my teachers said this:

Christmas was the time that he spent money on gifts that the recipients didn't want, and others spent money on gifts for him that he did not want.

Sorry SteelMaiden, but your mum doesn't sound like a prime example of a 100% NT. Her reactions to you asking and to what you eventually get are most definately not normal.

My mum's the same way, but the difference, is that she's gracious about the gifts that I give her.

My family lately has started to give out some hints on what do they want as presents and such.


When I was younger they bought me whatever they wanted but I started giving them hints on what do I want after they complained about me not liking their presents.




Luckily I only buy presents to close relatives so it isnt that hard to find a present for my grandad and such once my parents,and sisters presents have been bought.

We went through this with my mom for a VERY long time.... she's in her 50s now, and now it's easy, because she's realized she is hard to shop for. So now she sends us links to exactly what she wants, or just orders it herself and tells us "this one is from you guys (points to something), thank you sooo much" lol. It helps a lot.

My entire family tells each other what sort of things they'd like for Christmas or birthdays. Asking what someone wants is normal. What annoys my parents is when somebody is TOO specific, and only asks for one thing that is hard to find. (Eg. an oval wastebasket in sea green that's no more than fourteen inches high, during a year when that colour is out of style) I think it's just a matter of what the person was taught to believe is polite. Etiquette is not logical, and unfortunately, it isn't terribly consistent either.

I'm glad you're out of that situation.

If you're unsure of what to get somebody, ask their friends and relatives. I ask my brother and sister what to get for our parents.

Thank you for the replies. I understand a bit more now. I agree that etiquette is illogical