Hey, I'm new and I need advice!

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, I'm Chris and I live in Aberdeen, Scotland.

I'm having an issue with how to talk to my doctor about Aspergers. The last time I went in he said "You don't have it." and that was it!

My story goes like this......
When I was young I thought I was a normal kid. I loved cars and knew every make and model on the road at the age of 3. I liked dinosaurs when Jurassic Park came out. I liked the Ninja Turtles. My handwriting was terrible and the teachers always got on at me for it. I would spend hours in my room not talking to anyone and was crazy for computers and the like. I was never popular at school, I had a few friends but I was never close to them, they were ok though. I never had a girlfriend all through school and I was still very unsociable. I started to get a thing for cars again at about 16 and between the ages of 17 and 22 I had 24 cars. I had girlfriends but I never felt comfortable with them and could never settle. The car thing built up and I got friends who were also into cars. We would all meet up a few times a week to discuss what was happening in life and I would always turn the topic back to my cars. As time went on and I spent more time on the internet I found myself moving away from cars (they're still a huge part of me though!), and onto other things. The internet was an obsession in itself, I couldn't get away from it. My interests would change from week to week. One week it would be Chuck Norris, the next would be pac-man, the following week would be knight rider or the a team. I could actually count the days that I was staying interested in a subject. I had more girlfriends but was still unhappy because I couldn't have my routine anymore with them around. I met a girl and she fell pregnant not long after we met, we were together for 2 years but I couldn't handle her controlling me and now I live with my mum again where I am much happier! I also have an amazing 2 year old son!

In recent weeks I have had a thing for dressing as a pirate and looking for treasure (quite fun when shopping!), then I wanted to buy a boat even though I had no money, I had a thing for Hama beads which lasted 2 days and now I'm obsessed with Scott Pilgrim.

I learned about AS through a friend of my mum. Her son was diagnosed with it about a year ago and for fun her husband done an AQ test and then found he had traits too. My mum heard this and thought of me! I done an AQ test and scored quite highly!

I went to my doctor about it and he basically laughed at me, he said that I "have a son and a girlfriend (or I did at the time) so it isn't affecting my life!"

Now that I've been back at my mums a while, do you think I should approach my doctor again and how do I do it? I'm a bit scared of him to be honest after what he said the last time!

P.S. I have a job, I'm a bus driver so I don't really see my workmates or boss and the passengers rarely speak! I used to be a courier and drove a van around the countryside.

Sorry for the mess of this but I had to get all the info out quick!

Last edited by ChrisABDN on 01 Sep 2010, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd go to a specialist - DSM-IV if it applies is a bit tricker to be diagnosed under than ICD-10, but I don't know which would apply in your case. It's also more difficult to get diagnosed as an adult.

It's quite possible you don't have it, even people with significant traits may not be diagnosable on the spectrum. That's the thing about it being a spectrum - we could theoretically put every human being on the planet on a single spectrum with 0 being NT and 10 being NV. Many people may be a 1, 2 or 3 with fairly significant traits, but if it takes until you're a 4 or higher to get diagnosed, you won't get a diagnosis.

(this is obviously a gross oversimplification as I have always felt the spectrum to be multidimensional, but I think it gets the point across)

A lot of people are on the spectrum but its not adversly affecting their quality of life. You don't seem miserable. But that could be misleading. It's OK to be eccentric but if it's messing up your life then you need an explanation ( whatever the case actually is) so that you can manage your life and work with it. Try speaking to your Mum and ask if shes concerned about you.

As for your GP he's not an expert and he's not qualified to say 'you don't have it' but centres that assess adults are rare in the UK and the waiting lists are long. There's also not a lot of practical help if you are diagnosed as an adult. I'm waiting for an assessment myself and getting this far has been a bit of a nightmare. But I'm a bit of a burnt out old wreck so I need to know to help me sort myself out. It took me a very long time to pluck up the courage to go to my GP after a lot of thought about the issue..

It boils down to how unhappy you are and whether a diagnosis will have any practical benefit. I would avoid psychiatrists like the plague if you are basically doing OK. Again, ask your Mum for feedback on this. If you're really struggling don't give up, try seeing one of the other doctors in the practice. (if there are others) and get a referral to a specialist. Good Luck

Yeah, if you're not having problems, then the doctor was right not to diagnose you; but just having a significant other and/or a child isn't enough to disqualify someone. Quite a few autistics are married, and not just the people you can barely tell are autistic, either.

If you aren't diagnosable, but you still have a lot of traits, then there's a phrase that may apply in your case--"broader autistic phenotype". That is, people who have autistic traits, and probably autistic neurology, but who don't have impairment due to autism. Remember that "impairment" in this case doesn't necessarily mean you CAN'T do things; it may mean that you have to try much harder or use a different strategy that typical people wouldn't need. But without that impairment, you can still have a great deal in common with diagnosable autistics, possibly even more than you have in common with neurotypicals. I've also called this group "culturally autistic", especially when they see eye to eye (figuratively, because eye contact is scary) with other autistics in general.

On the other hand, you may have had a missed diagnosis. It's not at all uncommon, because we only figured out in the late 1990s that autism could exist even if speech developed on time. In which case, if you need help, yes, go find yourself a doctor who doesn't have the idea that having reproduced is an automatic disqualifier for being autistic.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

The DSM-IV was published in 1994 and the ICD-10 in 1992, so not quite the late 1990's. But it's still relatively new even today to most MDs who graduated school before then.

Even now, to give a specific example, my girlfriend has a recent MA in psychology and covered PDDs for maybe one week of classes at bachelor level. This means that it's still not being taught out today the way it should be.

They took a while to become popular after first being published, I think. But I'm probably being a little US-centric, because around here the DSM has a great deal more impact on psychology.

Yeah, the US Army performed a post World War II overhaul and the DSM was first published in 1952. At the time we had so many men and women coming home with problems from the war that it was required. It's almost completely US centric.

If you have issues which are affecting your life, then ask for a psychiatric referral. Mention it if you feel that your obsessions, behaviours or relationships are causing you distress or embarrassment.

Thread wandered a little off track there, but StuartN has got back to the crux of the matter.

The fact that you're seeking a diagnosis suggests that 'something' is affecting your life. The suggestion that having a child and a girlfriend makes you a happy, stable human being is frankly horrifying. If your doctor is refusing to refer you on these grounds then I suggest you write a letter of complaint to the practice manager and ask to speak to a doctor who is inclined towards helping rather than dismissing patients with possible neurological or psychiatric problems (within your letter). If letter writing isn't your forte, visit your nearest CAB and ask for assistance.

Even more than that: The idea that you're a happy, stable human being makes you not autistic is equally horrifying. Because, as we all know, autistics can NEVER be happy or stable.