Fear of anger.

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So, this particular train of thought came about from reading this - Can Emotional Overload Look Like a Lack of Empathy? Yes. - don't you love such posts? They give examples to show the meaning behind the normally empty descriptions of AS/ASD behaviour, as well as show how there can be variation in how these behaviours manifest. Anyway...

Lately I've been considering a behaviour of mine that I don't quite understand;
When my boyfriend gets angry or upset at something (little things, such as swearing upon stubbing his toe or being displeased at the football score) his sudden expression of this emotion upsets ME - it's a hard emotion for me to identify exactly; angry, scared, anxious? Similar to the feeling prior to a meltdown, only not enough to push me into a meltdown, does that make sense? I feel like I've done wrong.

Excluding the fact that the above article is about empathy, the sort of sensitivity to others emotional reactions described in this articles makes me wonder whether there is a connection there with how I react to things such as angry responses from others.

When someone gets angry at me I always go into instant meltdown/panic attack mode so I understand completely.

I feel it as a form of anxiety myself. But I think it's derived from a form of emotional overload. Not sure how to put it into words, but if somebody is upset about something, I'm just not sure how to help them about it (especially the little things, like stubbing a toe, or tripping over a pet).

Lately though, I've been fairly good about the small things though. Like if they stubbed their toe on something, I've developed this "idea" or "attitude" that they'll get over it quickly. It's usually the bigger things that gets me into trouble for some reason... :S

Tilkor