Should I ask if she has Asperger's?

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Hi,all! I would like some direction from those who are actually dealing with this in their life and would appreciate all opinions. I have a coworker who I suspect may have a mild case of Asperger's and I'm wondering if I should bring it up. She has this very bizarre and annoying habit that I don’t fully understand. She tries to talk along with me. She doesn’t just try to finish my sentences but will actually do it the whole time I am talking. It’s very difficult to have a conversation with her-almost like when you are on a cell phone and can hear your voice echoing back. I wonder if she may have a mild case of Asperger’s syndrome because there are a couple of other correlating behaviors I have noticed. When she is done with her shift she will walk around and try to talk to everyone until closing time. She doesn’t seem to pick up on cues, such as my phone ringing or the fact that I should be working instead of talking to her in the first place. We are always extremely busy and micromanaged so it's really not good for her to do this. Also, she seems completely void of any personality and I literally know nothing about her except for what state she is from. I have gone out to eat with her a couple of times and she just does the talking along with me thing then when I stop talking she has nothing to say. I have tried to befriend her because she doesn’t know anyone here and she has mentioned she feels very excluded at work. I don’t plan on shunning her because of her social ineptness as others have, so I am wondering if I should broach the subject. Maybe she has just been trying to muddle through life not knowing why people don’t like her. Maybe she doesn’t know why she is the way she is and just feels generally crappy about herself (she is also very overweight and recently and inexplicably cut her hair short). The main problem I see with talking to her about it is precisely because of her manner. Even though we have spent time together I don’t feel any closer to her than any random person on the street, so it’s impossible for me to predict what her reaction will be. I know from experience that it’s not fun when people point out your shortcomings or insult your way of speaking or acting. I truly want to help her if I can but I don’t know if I would be the first or the hundredth person to bring it up. I have an “it takes a village” outlook on getting through life so if I don’t try to reach out to her I would feel negligent. It’s not like I can help her with her actual problem (ideally I would like to encourage her to seek out a support group) but I hate the thought that she might never have had anyone to open up to about it. People look at me crazy when I say I don’t feel like a part of the rest of the world and I wonder if she sometimes feels the same way. So, say something or just grin and bear it?

If she's an adult, there's a good chance she wouldn't know if she had it or not, as literature on AS was only introduced to the English speaking medical communities in the early 1990's and went largely unnoticed until the late 1990's, at which point they devised expensive tests to diagnose it, which, at the time, were typically only applicable to children.

But one way or another, you have determined she is socially inept. You can bring up the subject of AS to her by talking about your interest in it. Many adults with AS who previously knew they were different and didn't know how exactly find learning about AS gives them closure in life.

I agree with Chronos. It might be reasonable to talk about why you are interested in Asperger's, but don't suggest that she may have it. That has too much potential to be misinterpreted and could make it very uncomfortable for you to work with her. You could just talk about your connection to AS and then see where it leads. if she expresses a lot of interest, maybe you might be able to discuss her issues, but if she does not express any interest, or if she doesn't make any connection between AS and herself, you better just drop it. Some people are just not ready to understand themselves.

You guys are so right! What was I thinking to just come out and ask her? Okay, so part two of the question. What about her strange talking habit? Should I just ignore it completely or is there a subtle way to get her to stop?

What you are describing is called "echolalia". It is common with people with autistic spectrum disorders and is very difficult to control. She may be aware that she is doing it and still be unable to stop it. There probably is no subtle way to get her to stop it. You will probably just have to live with it.

You are doing a good thing trying to help this woman. Very few people are willing to do this. Most will just dismiss her as a "weirdo". I hope that you don't get discouraged, and continue to do what you can. At the same time, however, you need to be aware that there are limits to what you can do, and don't press too hard.

I wouldn't ask her. She might be nice about it, or else she might see AS as something a lot more severe like Mental Retardation and use it against you. The latter happened to another member a few years ago.

Wow, thank you so much for all the wonderful responses! I had no idea that this habit had a name. I think I will just continue to spend time with her and not say anything about it. Maybe just my quiet acceptance of her will mean more to her than bringing up an issue which she no doubt is already aware of.

It might be wise to observe for a while and look for other traits in the AS "package" that might indicate a positive read.
Since she seems to trust you, and assuming you are well intended, you could ask her if she has heard of AS. If not, have ready some printed information on the subject available to give to her.
Adults who grew up unaware of the condition are often very relieved to have a name for their (mostly social) difficulties. I have successfully given info to three persons in the workplace and to two in my own family.
For more info on identifying AS persons and for quotes from adults on learning about (their) AS, read "Wait, What Do You Mean?" Asperger's Tell and Show.
www.amazon.com, www.xlibris.com.