Are you self consious?

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Pretty sure I spelled that wrong...

This is a huge problem of mine,
If I am in a room that I cannot see the people around me but I can hear them i am afraid they are talking about me, and sometimes I am sure. This also happens when I am in a super market, I feel like people are stairing and talking.

This makes me very sad, angry, and shy.

What say you? =/

Is this autistic or not? =(

I used to worry an awful lot about what people said about me, but I eventually stopped caring. I know that not everybody's going to like me, so I just accept it and do my own thing.

"I'd rather people hate me for who I am than like me for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

I deal with it too. It's something I've gotten alot better at, it's really tough though and some days are better than others. I'm just really working on myself so maybe I'll be more comfortble being me.

Yeah. I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing whenever I try to say something, and I really hate it when people look at me, because I dislike my appearance. Then I get anxious when I say something, so I end up pronouncing words wrong and making myself appear even worse than I intended. But then I don't care what people think about me apart from that.

I was as a teenager, but not anymore.

I used to be but things got better after anti depressants. I am only self conscious if I'm around someone I'm attracted to. If anything

I'm too unaware of what people might be thinking.

I am self-conscious, but it's nothing like what I was when I was growing up. It's actually one of the reasons why I don't mind getting old.

If you have insight (which you do), then your not mad (psychotic) by definition, because you are intouch with reality.

Anxiety can really mess with people, think of it as a type of Synaesthesia.

For me, this was a side effect of anti-depressants and lasted for over 5 years after stopping them.

I used to get the electric shot sensations as well as 'visual' and otherwise disterbances,
They both went away at around the same time, and I still get 'flash backs'.

SSRIs are basically none-self limiting hallucinogenic drugs.Like MDMA, but unlike MDMA, because background levels of neurotransmitters rise, homoeostasis should make your body produce less by itself to try to cope.

So, they can be addictive, can cause you to flip out proper bad like, and side effects and withdrawal, well can be a bit 'funky' to say the least.

Don't ask my opinion of anti-psychotics.

well I have a phobia of crowds and people standing really close to me like in lines and I know that my behavior of scrunching up real tight and putting my chin to my chest to avoid looking at all the overstimulation is probably a strange sight for people to see like in the supermarket (one of the few places I go to with my mom). Plus if I'm waiting in line I sort of pace in place from foot to foot. Well thinking that other people are staring at this wonderful display makes me very self-conscious and that builds up my anxiety more and more and more and eventually I have to get myself out of the situation or else it will build to a panic attack. I guess I get self-conscious because I think people are always staring at me to begin with I think because I just get overstimulated and people feel like these huge monsters standing up tall all around me. I don't know if that's more of an autistic symptom or my comorbid anxiety and social anxiety, but don't those usually go hand in hand with autism? Or if not it's probably really common because I have heard of a lot of people with both autism and anxiety disorder symptoms.

neuroleptics / anti-psychotics.

Well, the chemical lobotomy I was given, was to the extent that I did not ralize and was unable to control myself.

When I say, unable to control, due to the decrease in 'stimulation', I had the desire to constantly seek out stimulation.
Due to the lobotomising effects, this stimulation wasn't the usual thinking.

Food addiction,
Getting dumped by my Mrs cos I was going out round friends houses all the time, and she thought I was being selfish.
and the list goes on.

All the behaviour changes, due to the lobotomisation and living on pure impulse, having to watch myself over weeks and see what I was doing and then try to insert triggers to change the unproductive and destructive behaviour patterns I'd developed , not pleasant.

All the time, thinking I was just getting iller and iller, but appearing more calm on the outside, cos I couldn't think.

Side-effects get worse and worse and worse the longer your on them.
They made me in a way 'selfish'
I had drug induced addiction to everything and anything.
Due to homoeostasis, getting off a drug that affects neurotransmitters in a part of the brain that is related to psychosis, well it was enlightening.

Living in fear of the doctors, and getting sectioned (they actually tried to do that three days ago!), because they would mistake the withdrawal for relapse of something I had never had. (Scitzo-affective diagnosis, most defiantly have AS and ADHD). I'm actually got over it all now, just the quack freaked me out a bit.
Oh and I mentioned the Nuremberg code and GMC good medical practice guidelines, used reverse psychology to prove she was lieing, answered every question pretty much either using the Nuremberg code, GMC medical practice guidelines, published research on what ever she was trying to do, or had done, or was related.

e.g. Do you smoke cannabis.

Reply:
Although there is a well established link between cannabis and Schizophrenia, even a dose dependant one. As the strength and number of smokers of canibas has risen dramatically over the years, the number of reported cases of Schizophrenia has remained constant, and no causality can be established.

You get the picture I'm sure.

She proscribed, Anti-psychotics!


If anyone wants a good laugh, I've got the document I gave her 'written using GMC guidelines'
A transcript from memory of the 'event',
A few other bits,
It was witnessed by my partner and a semi-independent 'nurse'.

I'm going to the GMC, The equality commission, a Lawyer or two, and the 'ombudsman' (since I've complained down every possible route for the last 2 years or some, and down the more 'polite' routes for many years before that).

The is a head shrink,


This is going to, well interesting, and hopefully should raise some awareness of the difficulty faced by the wonderful people, on this wrong planet having to try to communicate with NTs. (let alone if I was a nutcase, I don't believe anyone should have been treated like that, especially if they are having mental health problems).

thanks for telling a little of your story, I found it really interesting.

Yes. I am unable to tell whether or not a peron likes me or is bothered by me. Much less, I am unable to comprehend or even speculate what people think of me in general.
My first assumption is always that they do not like me, or they think I am weird.
One of my biggest fears concerning my interactions with other people is rejection.
I don't trust people whom I can't say like me.
I don't make much contact or conversation with those people. So it takes a while for me to get to know people. Which adds onto my dificiency.

I worry too much about what other people think.

Do you ask people questions, and borrow those desires?

Do you reflect 'yourself',

Do you treat 'youself' as 'special' in some way,

Do you feel like a Man and that a Woman saying, Men are all idiots reflects on you manly ness, and not of the Woman possibly being selfish, as you are not.

(though I realise that this is a learned, pavolvian response) the woman has mistaken the sound of a bell for the smell of food.

Either that or, (dependant on her other actions and communication etc...) is also selfish and just making a statement of observation, irrespective of her own personal identity.