How to join in conversations?

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Ok so I'm fine with one on one conversation... But when it comes to groups, I can't get it. Like at work when there's three or four other people working... I try, but it seems like what I say gets ignored. I'll even say the same thing multiple times, and someone still won't get any response. Someone else might even start talking in the middle of what I'm saying, it's like they don't even notice that I'm there sometimes.. And these are people I like, who I have conversations with one on one. I know it's got to be me; something with my timing or tone or expressions that I don't understand... because this is how it is with everyone. But it always feels like I'm just being left out. Even online it seems like that sometimes. Like unless I'm having a private conversation with someone, whatever I'm saying is on the outside and mostl getting ignored, while everyone else is a real part of the conversation.

This happens to me sometimes too. People can be really rude at times. I don't think they mean to. Try joining in when just 2 other people are having a conversation, as long as it isn't a private conversation, and see if you have some success there, then work your way up to larger groups. Keep trying and don't take it personally.

This happens to me, too, and I have also had people simply walk away from me while I was talking to them. I haven't been able to figure it out, but I have wondered if it's because I am uncomfortable making much eye contact. I noticed recently that when other people talk to each other in a group, they tend to make eye contact with each person in the group for a certain amount of time. Maybe that establishes some sort of group connection that I am missing out on. Do you make eye contact a lot or do you tend to avoid it?

I can very much relate, although i'm sure that is not helpful.

I think my problem its related to how much you can move the topic of conversation from what the group has agreed on. If what you said is to moves the conversation too far from the agreed point, or in an unwanted direction it is ignored.

If someone responds, but the group dislikes the direction, it costs them credibility with that group of people. Keeping my comments kind of generic, and trying to add little to the conversation seemed to help, but hard to know if it is worth it.

but that's only my theory

But I do try that. I get a lot of practice trying to socialize with coworkers, but it still doesn't usually work out well with two others there. And this isn't just sometimes, it's pretty much every time there's a group conversation to some degree. Depending on the people or topic, I can sometimes get some points in, but it doesn't seem to flow along with everyone elses conversation all that well usually. I know that I have a hard time timing when I can start talking, but I think there's more to it too. It can't be that everyone, even the people I like, are just being rude. I must be doing something wrong. Anyone else have this issue? I think that my inability to do the whole group conversation thing is one of my biggest issues when it comes to socializing with others. For most people this seems to be a big part of life.

I really struggle with this, I think I've said something appropriate to the conversation but no one responds to me, sometimes they even give me weird faces. It's not like we're talking about marriage and I'm talking about ASDs. It's like we're talking about islam and I make a comment about traditional arab clothing I own and it's like I don't exist.

I think it's usually a combination of those things - eye contact, tone/volume of voice, body language, what you are saying... The problem is once you start focussing on these things, it can be even harder to get it right.

How "invisible" I am was brought very much to my attention once at an old job. I didn't often have lunch in the lunchroom, but this one day I sat with one other coworker in there. Another coworker came in and said to the first "oh, you're all by yourself!"

Sorry I don't actually have any advice. The person who invents the pill that allows aspies to conduct social conversation naturally like everyone else will be very very rich indeed.

Happens to me all the time, its like Im invisible and it doesn't help my confidence either. So frustrating!

This used to be a huge problem for me. I could never seem to get a word in a group conversation. Its hard with the timing and stuff and how to add a comment. And when I would make a comment, the timing was so off it would seem weird. I used kinda think it was a cultural thing, where im from people arent as face paced with their conversations. Some of my white friends would slow down their conversation pace when they would talk to me one on one cause i dont talk very fast. Things have gotten a lot better within the last few years, its much easier to talk in groups but making a connection with people in a group situation is still difficult. My only advice is practice and try your best to make yourself seem engaged even if you cant get a comment in. Continue putting yourself in the situation.

And this didnt just happened to me with a group of NTs. I had this aspie group therapy thing a few years ago, and it happened to me there to? Thats what made me think it might be cultural. They'd start bouncing comments off and some would talk excessively and I had stuff to say but i couldn't find the timing to say it. Does anyone else find that they generally talk slower paced then normal people?

I can't join in a conversation, because they are like "wait your turn" and I don't even know when my turn is! How do they know? Why bother trying anymore....

No real advice here either, unfortunately.

I do have the same problems with timing and reciprocity in group situations. I've never understood it and being involved in group conversations can be awkward at times. I just try and say a few things here and there and seem engaged by looking at the speaker as they speak, even though I don't really like eye contact. That seems to help things and usually I can eventually get into a conversation that way.

I usually find I need time to feel comfortable with getting into the feel and groove of a conversation so I tend to be more of an observer than participant.

That happens to me a lot, or else I'll start a conversation with someone, and they will start talking to another person. I had to get in between two people, th get my message acrossed one time.