feeling attacked when hearing your name

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Yes, its a part of their extreme narcissism.

One of the things I related to most in John Elder Robison's memoir Look Me in the Eye is his difficulty with names. For those of you who haven't read the book, Robison calls his mother "Slave" and his father "Stupid." He just can't call his brother Christopher by his name, either: first he's "Snort", then he's "Varmint," and now he calls him only "my brother." That brother had a strong aversion to his own name, changing it in his teens before he became famous as writer Augusten Burroughs.

Names wear on me. I changed mine a couple of years ago (not legally, but in practical usage), and I've been very happy about it. I used to flinch when people said my name. I still feel attacked when people use my legal name, but not when they use the name I chose.

I think this might have to do with the tendency of the autistic brain to form neural connections that are too strong. The sound that is supposedly hardest for all of us to ignore is the sound of our own name. I think for me, and maybe for other people on the spectrum, the sound of my name activates a connection in my brain that is so strong that it feels like pain. A similar thing happens when I try to talk about things that are very, very important to me. It's like they're "too hot to handle," the things in my brain seem to be so intense that it sort of shuts down.

Can anyone else relate?

I remember being on a game network (I'm not a gamer, so excuse me for not knowing the proper term) and somebody from the other team called my name when I shot them. It was the same reaction I'd have if a parent was yelling at me. I told my friend I hate it when they call my name and he didn't no why.
I have these intense emotions which I don't understand and I think it has a lot to do when someone says my name. If someone I don't know well enough or like a lot says my name I feel more uncomfortable than if a friend said it.

edit: Vector's on the ball. Um, I completely agree with him.

I've also given myself multiple nicknames. I used to urge people to call me LTTL or The Spectacle or back when I was six years old: Barnabas. Yeah I dunno... Anyway, I really believe in that whole intense world syndrome. Eye contact hurts, speaking about my feelings hurts, hearing my name hurts, and my moods whether happy, sad or angry are always over the top. Then there's the sense, touch, sight sensitivity.

Yeah, hearing someone saying my name (especially repeatedly) does make me slightly uneasy, probably because it's something usually done by teachers or parents when they're scolding you so naturally it gives off a bad vibe. What I've noticed also, though, is that I feel uncomfortable calling other people by their own name, even my closest friends. Somehow it feels like a very personal, intimate thing to do. Hard to explain.

I went into some detail the last time we had a names thread, so it's probably redundant for me to respond here, but names evoke such a reaction in me that I feel compelled to chime in. I'll try not to be too redundant.

Having someone say my name makes me feel somehow vulnerable, so it evokes different responses depending on who says it. Sometimes it feels like an attack. If the wrong person says my name, it can feel aggressive, like an assault or an invasion. Sometimes it simply feels like the person is trying to force intimacy which isn't there (which may or may not feel like a sort of invasion, but will certainly make me uneasy). If the right person says it, however, it feels...wonderful. Intimate. At any rate, saying my name is a sure way to evoke some emotional response in me, whatever it may be. Though I think the full version of my name (rather than the shortened nickname) provokes more of a response when spoken. I'm not sure; haven't tested it.

Relating it to when a parent or teacher scolds you evokes a memory of my mum shouting at me in a supermarket. Probably every supermarket we ever went to because I would wander off. People often mispronounce my name too. It's Shanti not Shanty, but I never feel any reaction from the mispronounced name. I just give them a disapproving look when they think my name is pronounced like a sailor's jingle.

Also, I rarely call people by their name and it's usually to get their attention. The only time I've called someone by their name when I didn't need to get their attention was when talking to Craig Nicholl's from the Vines who also has AS. I wonder if I actually felt close to him because we were going through the same thing?


I'm glad you repeated it. That's exactly how I feel. I struggle to recall a moment where I felt some intimacy but sometimes when being around friends I feel close to I have these intimate feelings that I know I shouldn't have. Sometimes it's towards people I don't even think that way about.

Ah yes, I remember that when I read that particular sentence I felt like an alien marrooned on Earth.

My name is unusual and considered rather cool. Heck- I even refer to myself in the third person sometimes when I'm being facetious. In short, I don't blame others for liking to say my name. Only time it's ever freaked me out was in the bedroom.

I hate when people call my name across the street, or say very loudly, ''hello, Josie!!'' I don't like others around knowing my name. I don't like my name, and even though others might like the name, I still don't want the whole street hearing my name. They might turn round and think, ''oh that stupid girl over there's called Josie.'' Perhaps those irritating thoughts come with my paranoia. (Paranoia where I think everyone's thinking the same as what I'm thinking).

I have absolutely felt the same way. It is one thing to use my name when warning me to look out for the bus about to hit me. However, I really can't stand people using my name in a conversation when I'm standing right in front of them.

When I was a sales manager, a job I absolutely hated for the six months of torment I held the position, I was told to train new sales people to use the customer's name. As was stated previously in this thread, NT's seem to feel their name is the most beautiful sound in the world. This "fact" was used by sales staff to make the potential customer happy and feel like the sales person cared.

For me it is incredibly annoying and turns me off from whatever product the sales person is trying to pawn off on me. It feels like an invasion of privacy.

I'm the same. When people use my full name I always put my back up because I feel like i'm about to be told off.

same. I kinda think it is generally an insult or patronising. if it is i don't think it is something that a lot of people are aware of.

I can relate.

hhah me too...my mind takes a step back from the "situation"and i want to ask "yeah what? "loooool

I feel very uncomfortable when I hear my own name, especially when it is my parents who use it. It makes me anxious.

That's what I was trying to get across in my last post in this thread. If I wasn't in trouble (usualy by no fault of my own or something I had no control over) My name was the first thing I heard before being bullied. I have to have my name changed.