Anyone else feel embarrassed/ashamed after a meltdown?

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I do that a lot lately, especially when I'm anxious about a deadline and nothing seems to want to work right when I really need it to. I heard someone say that my computer was cowering in the corner, then I was really embarrassed about it. I scream at it like it's a conscious being intentionally making things difficult for me instead of an inanimate object. Yeah, I know the feeling...

Most of the time, I don't make scenes in public though. Rather, I run away when I can feel it coming. But I've been embarrassed even about that, because apparently people take it personally when you run off in the middle of their parties without saying a word. Eh.

I can relate to that one.
On an IT contract I did I needed to get a cable from a drawer, into which these things tended to get thrown. After rooting around in it for a while I just started chucking them out over my shoulder to clear some space and make it easier to find what I was looking for.

This got more frantic, and the cloud of flying cables got thicker and faster as I got more angry at the complete mess the contents were in.
It was only when I became aware that a few people were standing up at their desks, watching what I was doing, that I realised how it must have looked - and stopped.
I was well away, and it wouldn't have been too long before the whole drawer got ripped out.

But that drawer had never been so tidy by the time I'd picked everything up and put it back.

Well the computer thing doesn't cause me to have meltdowns - it just gets me annoyed. But I have done what one of you suggested, but sometimes I have forgotten to copy it before submitting, then I pressed the ''submit'' button and then realise it's too late. But I'm starting to remember to copy my posts more often.

What else annoys me aswell is when I'm typing fast and I look up and notice that there are loads of letters missing from words, even though I know I typed them in because I'm not the sort to make too many typos when I'm typing. And I've even looked up at the screen before whilst typing and I see some of the letters not coming up on the screen what I've definitely typed in. It's really annoying! And I can't always be bothered to read it all the way through and check for missing letters, so I copy and paste it onto Microsoft Office word, and press the ''spelling and grammar check'', then it corrects the uncompleted words there.
I know why the computer does this. It's nothing to do with the keyboard because it only does this when I'm typing on the internet. It's because there are always pop-ups or those little moving picture things at the sides of the message boards, and the little adverts and stuff like that - those are what makes the internet much slower and things get delayed.

It is very odd that I typed in what is wrong with me I talk to myself and get embarrassed by what I say to people and they think I am weird and now I am here. I have been diagnoised as ADHD and Bipolar I guess for now and I won't ask my therapist what she thinks. Anyhow, I am 52 years old and when I was younger I was extremely shy and felt like I couldn't word things with out looking strange and then when I tried it did come out weird and kids would look at me strangely. I do not know why I say what I say to people and then when I realized that what I said is not worded right or kinda bizarre I try to make it right but it goes wrong anyway and then embarrassed. Often times I talk to myself in public places about thoughts in my head come out verbally. I try to stop but it just happens. It is getting worse. I also have some anger issues. I can relate to meltdowns. When I feel like it is starting to build up I always say I am going to control it but I get so nuts and scream and cry and say nasty things. I have been fired twice for this behavior. I always feel like I am being treated as a second class citizens by the bosses. I hold it for so long and then it comes out in a blast. I went crazy a month ago on my brother and now he is not talking to me. I was so mad that he questioned my parents about my spending habits and I was so mad he didn't come to me instead. He accused me of gambling but I hate the casinos and that is the last thing I would ever do. My brother is in FLa and I am in Oklahoma and I asked him for some money since I am overseeing my elderly mother and I can't get a job. Actually I am scared to get a job because I keep losing them because of my outburst. I get so angry when I hear loud noises. When I am at a resturant and the busboy is clearning the table, I can't stand that the dishes seem to be thrown down in their dish cart. It hurts my ears so bad and it makes me crazy. When I hear a loud a car or trucks it really drives me nuts. So you know when the people with loud speakers in their cars I feel like I want to get out of my car and break their windows. One time I almost rammed my car into theirs. Another thing that drives me nuts are stupid commercials. I get so upset I email the company and com,plain how much their commercials suck. The tension when the commercial comes on I have so much anxiety. I look for my remote and mute it. I get into obssessive about certain things. Watches now, I have bought so many watches and many at one time. Then I got into landscaping and even drawn different landscaping. I think about things being invented and I get the materals and then it just sits in my house. Sometimes I get so whimsical in public like being so happy and flamboyant. I know people think I am weird. At first they like me but then when I start saying bizzare things and talk to myself, they distance themselves from me. Let me know what you think., Thanks

Joe, I can relate with typing and missing words. I just read my comment and it reads like a 2 year old. I think in my head and miss the whole details. I actually see the picture in my head and try to word it but miss the whole idea. I type fast I think and usually i look over my work and re do the wording but that causes me so much anxiety because nothing sounds right. I can redo papers so much and after awhile I am not for sure what I am trying to say.

I feel ashamed and embarrassed after I have a meltdown. I live in a facility, so it's not like I'm the only one, but after I guess I realize just what a small thing it was that set me off, and when I am able to talk again and listen I realize how I misinterpreted things. Ive always felt ashamed, because here I am, this very intelligent person having a meltdown of major proportions. I hate it. I never know either when it might come. My day could be going so well and then BAM! After too I feel so tired and sleepy, I usually have to take a nap. does that happen to anyone else?

Not that I've had a meltdown in a long, long while, but if I did, you bet I'd be embarrassed about it.

It depends where they happened at. I feel embarrassed if they happen out in public. But at home or around family, I feel like a jerk and a failure because I feel I should have tried harder and didn't try hard enough to control it.

After I have a meltdown, I rationalize the tirades I let out at others as I basically barked at them. I think of the reasons those creeps deserved the yelling and screaming they received, even if they're my family members, who make themselves miserable anyway.

I often feel a lot of shame and guilt after a meltdown, but I wouldn't say I experience embarrassment. Mind you, the sort of behaviour I exhibit in public places (as opposed to the home) when I'm at 'meltdown' point doesn't really have cause for embarrassment. I cry openly, which some may find embarrassing, but it tends to attract pity from the people around me, rather than mockery.

The reason why I feel so disappointed with myself after meltdowns is firstly because of the misery I cause others, and secondly because I can hardly believe how little control I have over my emotions...

I generally think of meltdowns/shutdowns caused by sensory overload related to ASD while meltdowns related to anger related to bipolar.

My dad used to do that. Not while I was growing up but after I started getting treatment. Think the phrase he used was, "See? You're normal."

Oh I guess I could actually answer the thread topic...

Generally I don't really feel ashamed about meltdowns. If I were to ever actually assault someone due to my anger I'd feel ashamed but the only things I've done is destroy something I've owned. So... "No blood, no foul." I've gotten my butt barred from my doctor's clinic before due to a meltdown. I don't feel ashamed about it. I'm just aware that I've gotta keep things under control in the future.

Always. I'm ashamed of it, no matter who was present, or does it count anywhere I had one. I'm having a significant meltdown almost every month, and several small ones meanwhile. A significant one is for example when I raged at a bus driver because he'd almost pushed over my co-cycler.

Anger-like meltdowns can also be caused by accumulated and suppressed stress, if not sensory.

Oh I was only referring to how I view my own dysfunction. I didn't mean to imply that other people's anger associated meltdowns are due to bipolar...especially since not everyone is bipolar and everyone has anger issues from time to time.

i had a meltdown today and i feel sick about it because i didn't think it would happen.
When i'm angry i cry and i can't control it but today i had a discussion with my room mates that started on WhatsApp but dopely i suggested them to meet each other in the living room and talk there:i wish i've never suggested it because when one of my room mate started accusing me of not washing the dishes i got angry and cried.
it was very embarassing but the worst part is that i couldn't control it and as i figured out that it was out of control that the cycle would go on.
My room mates din't know that i'm autistic and most of my friends don't know it also because i'm undiagnosed,but due to my symptoms it's obvious that i'm one of you guys (read my presentation topic).
anyway they're very embarassing and i'm glad that i'm studying something that won't make stay in contact with people:i don't have problems with talking,i don't get shy when they ask me a thing or to help them,but i don't like socializing unless they share some of my hobbies and i want these crying outburst to happen as less as possible.

Me personally. I've always tried to keep it down till it gets up but sometimes it overwhelms me. Sometimes I just can't control it. Specifically certain things seem to always be causin it. But Sometimes those causes are just too strong. The only times I can't control an immediate meltdown is if it is just a something that triggers negative emotions or reactions which happens sometimes. There are sometimes you just can't control it. Now for the most part I can control one that is caused by normal life. but non-normal life not so much... I don't really feel ashamed tho. I rarely feel embarressed and it's almost always in retrospect. It's hard for me to feel emotion in the first place. It has to be rather major emotions for me to feel them at all. I can analyze my emotions through my actions tho. It works sometimes...

it's the same for me,i'm really cold and really i don't feel emotions and people tend to make me notice me about how cold and insensitive i am and that doesn't bother me,but the fact that sometimes i can't control my anger and frustration turning into tears really makes me mad because it makes me look like a child and people would suspect that i'm cold but with deeper issues inside me where there's nothing wrong in my life,it's just my natural reaction to anger and frustration,btw i can't blame them because no one think that i have autism,they know that i am strange and they tell me but not to this point.