I'm having problems at the moment as I have to resort to shallow conversations and simple persona with my parents. Although i've explained to my mum that i'm self diagnosed aspie, she doesn't really understand it (which is understandable) but she said the other day "you seem to have trouble talking to people close to you" as I have being coming home from work a different person most days. I tend to think myself as of the "Peter Sellers" aspie type, the personality chameleon, my most comfortable state is when i'm speaking like a child having shallow conversation. The trouble is I am very deep, intellectual, complex person. So it's a hard contradiction to resort to keeping things simple to get communicating because really I should have a dominating, eccentric personality to feel fulfilled. To emotional connect (ish) it's best that I am quiet and shy around my parents. However my parents are now finding out that I am very different and are meeting me half way a bit more...no matter "who I am" at the time...
The other thing I was going to say was is that people think I playing mind games with them, and in a kind of way it does stretch over into that...what I mean is I am very up on psychology so when I speak to people in simple terms I may somehow slip into a tone of voice which is "back off" in style...so the problem here is they think I am toying with them, playing mind games and as my body language is very limited, when I do smile at someone in places, they are totally baffled, and left cold...??
Generally I can read people very well indeed, I am very submissive and passive which means in decision making people tend to twist my arm and I know they are doing it when they look at me and they know I know from their approach and body language, but I can't respond to them back except nodding and giving in to it, it's like a deep connection which I find unsettling??
03 Jun 2006, 8:00 am
