On Not wanting friends?

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I am in the middle of being diagnosed. at first I thought for sure I was aspergers but my dr told me I more likely fit classic autism....
I pretty much fit exactly into the aspergers realm except for one thing... I do NOT want friends.

Ok, I like being civil with people...when I have to be...its better than being uncivil....

I have a couple friends, only 1 close friend and even then I dont enjoy being around him for very long. One on One I could do with about 20 minutes, if i havent seen him in a few years or so...Optimally less, but i am often forced to be with him for hours at a time...leading me to have meltdowns after

I never ever want to go hang out with anyone, even if i like them as a person and don't feel awkward around them....I just don't enjoy it

I do however have a significant other I love to be around. I also enjoy being around my family. Given in small doses and I still need recovery time from them both.

Ive been reading and maybe I am getting this wrong, but do people with aspergers want friends but just dont know how to socialize? What's the deal? Do you guys enjoy the company of others IF they are decent ppl you like?

I want friends, in the abstract. I am expecially wistful about how few female friends I have had over the course of my life.
I don't know how to socialize. I don't know how to make friends. The friends I have had were people who took the initiative themselves because I don't know how to take an acquaintance to that next level of friendship.
I sometimes (rarely) enjoy the company of others. Most times I'm suffering through my time with others in anticipation of the blessed relief of getting home and being alone again.

Like I said, I want friends in the abstract. The concrete reality never lives up to what I think about when I am wanting friends. Being around people is difficult and stressful and when anything goes wrong (which is often) I have to work to get the thoughts out of my head later because I will be obsessed with the conversation and the social mistakes and trying to figure out the meaning of cryptic things people said to me. I obsess on these things for so long that I have frequently finally figured out what happened or what someone really meant years after the actual conversation took place.

All of the mistakes and confusion and obsession are so stressful and exhausting for me that I find it much easier to just avoid people as much as possble, despite wishing I had friends.

I could have nearly written your post myself. I enjoy some people, for a short time, but I don't enjoy socializing and really just a short time of conversing with someone is all I can take - I'll get overwhelmed and then light and sounds and everything becomes too much. Online is much easier because there's not so much to try to figure out. Even family that I love can become overwhelming very quickly. I don't really want friends and never have really. My husband suffers because sometimes he likes to be social when I never seem to want to. Halloween is the one time I want to go out of the house and be around others because I want to dress up and be my true goofy self. Everyone seems more accepting on Halloween.

sometimes i want firends, but when i really think about it, friendships are way to hard to maintain. its like taking care of a dog. you have to invest way to much time into it!

also. i'm easy going, i cant be botherd with pop culture or whats currrently a hit at the box office

so i guess this is why i am friendless, oh well!

LOL. Yup. It all sounds so good until you actually have to be in a room with people and you need to interact with them.

What does not wanting friends have to do with the diagnosis?

My psychiatrist says theres very little difference between high functioning autism and aspergers. I got diagnosed with HFA and like you I don't want friends but I don't see HFA as anything different to aspergers. Up until I was 16 I was never alone, if I wasn't in school I'd wake up to friends ringing the doorbell and would have people with until I went home to go to bed and it wasn't until I moved house that I realized what I was missing. I was able to go completely introspective without people snapping me out of it and reminding me of the fact that its not normal.

Not all aspies want friends either. I had friends in my childhood and wanted friends and then I gave up. I don't really need friends even though I know why they are so important to have. But they're hard to find and I never have anything in common. I don't know what to do with them except going out. As a kid it was easier because kids play and then they grow up and don't play anymore. I don't play much either.

I can enjoy the company of another person if we are having a great conversation and sometimes I might find myself relating to them based on what they say about themselves like the time this person told me people get offended with her humor and don't know she is joking so that must be social awkwardness for her and she also said people need to grow a thick skin. There's my thinking there. Something I could relate to.

I've only really made two friends in my life due to my own effort, both when I was 10. Literally every friend I've had since is because they are somehow connected to those two friends. I meet people by accident, because they are a friend of a friend I already have. And even then, I have a small capacity for other people in my life. Regrettably, I have to lose friends to gain others. I actively avoid connecting with people, but when some interesting mutual friend comes along I can grow very fond of them.

It varies. Some do, some don't, and anywhere inbetween.

From the DSM:

Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean becoming introspective in a momentary manner or in a long term way?

This is such a cliche thing for me to say, but that reminds me of an episode of "Big Bang Theory." :-)

After the kind of treatment I got from my friends in college...I never want to have any friends again (although there are a few exceptions).

I never had friends who treated me so badly and so hypocritically. That's all I can say about that.