Should I skip the Diagnosis?

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Hey all, I'm new here.

I've realized that I might be on the spectrum. I am 28, female, and have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I had a lot of meltdowns, starting in high school which I mostly hid, but once I got to college I couldn't hide them anymore and it became a big issue. The thing is, I dont think I have bipolar. I've have been off meds for years now, and I don't mood swing like bipolars do. However, I still have intense meltdowns- usually caused by change, irritations, noise, light, and large crowds (I work in retail-luckily I'm backroom so I have headphones in all the time and am usually left alone).

As I started looking up reasons for these meltdowns, I came across Aspergers (or ASD now) and I felt like a whole new world opened for me. All my life, pretending to be normal, not understanding why all the kids seemed to have it together except me, not fitting in with my own friends, and lying to my family about how I was feeling because I was scared to get into trouble. But those arent the real indicators for me.

I've been a tongue chewer my whole life, I'm afraid I'll chew it off. And I pace and lot a bite my lips till they bleep. When I get really excited which isn't often, I jump around. Are these stims?

Also, my fantasy head life. I cannot believe most people don't have those. I live in it as mine as the real world- they interconnect. Its my safe place.

And the obsessions- in my head 24/7 and Its all I can think about. I get bored being social because it takes me away from my obsessions- are these my special interests?

Also, body language? I didn't know that was a thing. Eye contact? It hurts so I avoid it. These are things I do not mess with. And I hate small talk. Seems pointless.

Sure I could be reaching here, but I think I found out why I am the way I am.

Question is, should I seek a diagnosis? I don't see how it would help me anymore. I'm done with school, I've learned how to cope despite all my issues. And tbh, no one really cares. It would be just for a peace of mind kind of thing, and to perhaps get the bipolar of my medical records.

Thanks for listening, I have no one to talk to about this..my sister doesn't fully get it and I'm afraid to tell my mom, I don't want to hurt her feelings because If I were to explain myself, I'd have to tell her very private stuff.

Depends where you live. In the UK a diagnosis is free. In the US it is unlikely but possible that a diagnosis would be covered with private insurance. Most of the time you are looking at roughly 1500 for a diagnosis in the USA. Be sure to find someone who is an expert in adult female autism. For some the money is worth it to put a label on it. For others the doctor just tells you what you already know.

You may not need an "official" diagnoses for job training.

Welcome! Your issues sound very similar to mine (diagnosed Bipolar at 31, ASD at 40). I manage without meds as well, and feel that ASD 'explains' me better than Bipolar does.

What I have found is that the world is not ready to accept 'invisible autism', and that it's simply easier and less frustrating to tell people I'm 'Bipolar with ASD traits', rather than deal with the skepticism over that issue. Also, there's a lot of overlap between the two, and Bipolar can account for the sensory issues, obsessions, meltdowns, and fantasy life (all of which I experience as well).

I would give thought to just letting it be, and keeping the Bipolar diagnosis. You're doing well now, but sometime down the road you might struggle due to unexpected stress, in which case it's good to have the diagnosis, in case you need help. (Bipolar will get you taken more seriously for disability issues, than mild ASD.) Also, it's becoming more recognized that people with Bipolar and ASD often react badly to meds, and that cognitive therapy works better for us.

That's just one way to approach this question, and I'm certainly not against getting tested, and finding a psychiatrist who agrees that your Bipolar symptoms (past and present) are better explained as ASD. If it helps you to better understand and cope with your issues (and explain them to others), then it's the right approach.

Welcome. I was diagnosed at a similar age --23 years old.
It was also because I couldn't cope with college, but I coped with elementary school/ middle school and highschool just fine.

I'm also diagnosed with bi-polar.

I would suggest you to seek diagnosis, because there are still organizations who help autistic people for free.

After my diagnosis, I went to 2 charities where they provided therapies and courses for social skills and coping skills.
It really helped me a lot.
Whilst it didn't help me academically, it helped me in my career.
I found the therapies useful.

If you're able to support yourself in a way that you find satisfactory, then an official diagnosis might do you more harm than good. AS is largely associated with personality traits that are considered undesirable by prospective employers. It's one thing to have some weaknesses in areas like F2F communication that you and your boss agree that you'll "work on" and another to labelled as having a "syndrome".

AS is not a disease like Schizophrenia, it's a set of symptoms that when present may be seen as valid justification for a diagnosis. But you are who you are and you know what things about yourself might hamper your ability to deal with the world. A diagnosis won't change that.

In some cases, a person's symptoms might be severe enough that they can't hold down a regular job and thus qualify for disability pay. Such people were usually diagnosed in childhood (in some such cases it might have better for all concerned had they NOT been diagnosed). In other cases, it may be possible to get support or accommodation such as job coaches or protection against certain stimuli in the workplace that the person has trouble dealing with. Is this true in your case?

Please don't hesitate to post any life concerns you wish on WP, it's a friendly place but you have to accept that none of us is normal and we don't always give the type of response you may expect!

I'm pretty sure that at least one job training organization thinks it know more about autism that the typical doctor who diagnoses autism, so they will accept applicants without an official diagnoses.

Thank you guys so much for the responses.

Its nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with the bipolar thing as well, it makes it so difficult to make sense of things.

I just work backroom, so its a very lenient job. Getting a more demanding job sounds overwhelming to me, and I would like to someday, but even then I wouldn't want anyone to know. So I guess for that reason, I'm leaning towards not getting diagnosed. Its just nice to know there is a place here to talk. I resonate with a lot of things I've read here so far so I'm going to try to work on just being ok being me and learn from people with similar experiences.

Thank you again!

Autism is too hard for the average person to understand. The folks who understand it are typically really smart. So, if you need accommodations, you should just ask for them and not bring autism into the picture. I have a reasonably NT coworker that can't stand the bright lights in his office, so he turns them off and brings in his own lamp.