Eye Contact - Looking at People You Like or Dislike

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TTRSage
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28 Oct 2010, 3:26 pm

Several of the online Aspie tests have questions to the effect of "do you often not look at people that you dislike". Presumably this is related to AS in some manner but is this an Aspie trait or an NT trait? Thinking back to the past I realized that I would often not look at people whom I disliked and even used this behavior intentionally with exaggeration to express such a dislike for certain people. I presume that this might fall under the category of body language. But is this an Aspie or an NT trait?

I know somebody whom I strongly suspect of being an Aspie (difficult communications, solitary existence, strict routines and frequent swinging types of stimming among other things). He will almost always turn to look back at me, almost to the point of staring, but seldom does this with other people. I am trying to figure out if this might be a sign that he likes me as I think he does. Can any other Aspies here tell me how you react in terms of looking at people you like but not looking at people you dislike?



sartresue
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28 Oct 2010, 3:32 pm

On contact topic

Earlier this morning I gave a hate stare to some creepy looking jerk who was staring at my youngest daughter. A real a**hole. :evil: He looked away in fear. I kept up the stare until he was out of sight, real real gone.

I find eye contact uncomfortable but I will do what it takes to protect my kids. :twisted:


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IdahoRose
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28 Oct 2010, 4:17 pm

I'm able to look at people whom I love and care deeply about, such as my parents, my brother and my close friends. Sometimes I even stare at them, because it feels like my love for them enhances their beauty. I could stare at them for hours if it didn't make them feel uncomfortable.

On the other hand, I can't look at people whom I hate, such as my uncle and my sister. I always either look down or in some other direction; any direction but theirs. Many times I can't even stand to be in the same room as they are, so when they walk into the room, I get up and leave. They get hurt and wonder why I am like this, but if I told them the truth, they wouldn't be able to handle it. I am not like this just to be cruel - I have my reasons for behaving this way.

When it comes to eye contact, those are the two extremes. The majority of people fall somewhere in between.



ReBabar
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28 Oct 2010, 5:04 pm

I stare at everyone, if they don't realize I'm staring at them
I can't stand looking at someone knowing he knows I'm looking at him
(not only I can't mantain eye contact, I can't even look at the person)

when I'm looking or staring at someone, very often I'm not even thinking about that person (maybe he/she is wearing something blue and it simply caughts my eye)
frequently I stare at someone to copy what he is doing, how he is behaving in a certain situation, and store what I see



Maolcolm
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28 Oct 2010, 5:44 pm

ReBabar wrote:
I stare at everyone, if they don't realize I'm staring at them
I can't stand looking at someone knowing he knows I'm looking at him
(not only I can't mantain eye contact, I can't even look at the person)


Yes, I can't keep eye contact with people - to some degree with very close family but even then not very long. But I stare at people if they are not looking at me. I love to watch people because they are such strange creatures.



Peko
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28 Oct 2010, 8:24 pm

Three things determine my ability/inability to maintain or even make eye contact:

1. Comfort level I have with the other person
2. How much energy I am using to look "professional"
3. Eye coloration; dark eyes are easier for me to look at than light blue eyes :?


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Kiseki
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28 Oct 2010, 10:45 pm

I assumed it was just natural to not wanna look at people you dislike. Who wants to do that? But maybe it is an Aspie thing...

Thinking back on my past I never had any issues with making eye contact, except when it was towards people I found cruel or creepy. When I like someone I tend to stare at them.