Not serious enough to have aspergers
I think the stereotype is a logical and serious-minded individual. A cross between Spock and a bar-know-it-all who has little sense of humor or simply misses the joke as it flies overhead.
I am the opposite. I have a very difficult time taking anything too seriously. Arguments, deaths, break-ups, and personal failure all are examples were I feel like I have to put on an appropriate face for others. Someone will console me with a face full of tears and give me a big hug, and then it is like shouldn't I feel worse since it my loss and not theirs. I feel bad in my own way, but not the way I think people expect that I should. It does often take me longer to get over some loss and move on from it than most people for instance.
Similarly, when someone is asking for serious advice about their relationship with their S.O., a career problem or some other personal problem, I usually will have to stop myself from saying some wisecrack or just dismiss the importance of the problem. I don't know if my perspective puts less value on any one event, or if I don't have the maturity that I am supposed to have by this point. I can see it one day that I will be on my deathbed and some young doctor will give me the bad news and I will ask if he thinks if I have enough time left to finish the movie I am watching or something equally as dismissive. Is this aspergers or my own personal weirdness?
richardbenson
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
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I've never been compared to Mr Spock or anyone else in Star Trek! I have a problem with inappropriate laughter, so I know what you mean about not thought of as serious. I have had many giddy moments when the laughter just floods me and I cannot stop. People have asked me what was so funny. I've gotten in trouble for laughing when I shouldn't have.
Gruntre
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 8 Oct 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Melbourne, Australia.
I use to laugh all the time; a change of scene meant a more violent environment (more conservative, larger city) and that's when a lot of the disfunctional aspects of Aspergers came to the forefront. If I'm in the right environment then I'm naturally very mirthy, to the point where I think it's actually the NT's who are a little bit slow and a little uncreative.
If you have a creative and extroverted personality and you have Aspergers you're going to be a very very different person than someone who is rational or logical and introverted and has Aspergers. In fact creative with Aspergers you have a hard time convincing people that you have Aspergers (guess stereotypes have to be perpetuated somehow).
The capacity to know when to be serious and when to be frivolous has always evaded me, and I definitely think it's part of having the Aspergers. I have particular problems when I'm in overstimulating environments like University classes or workplaces: I've tended towards working in isolation (gardening, drafting) to avoid the highs and lows of working around people. This would be the Aspergers types you hear about who are very bright but do very poorly in formal study environments and get bad grades. People assumed I was too much of a larrakin (I'm Australian) and would get annoyed. Pretty hard to protest against bullying with that hanging over you. So I learnt to be angry instead; people take you more seriously but it takes a toll on your mental health if you're sensitive...
I was once told that I'm like T'Pol without the arrogance and negativity. I took it as a compliment.
In all seriousness, though (:lol:), I have found Aspies to be both very serious and very childlike in our lack of seriousness. We might philosophize on life and the universe or become absorbed in the patterns we see in society and elsewhere or be sticklers for rules, but might also not take very gravely "mundane," every-day things like people having relationship problems or may indulge in very non-serious activities like playing with Legos or coloring. I'm sure we're all different in this area; just because we all have Asperger's doesn't mean we all have the same personality. I know that the above suits me and one or two of my friends rather well.
I was told very recently that this is how I come across. "Wow, you're so surprising! You seem so serious but you're not."
_________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."
Same.
Someone asked me if I was on drugs once.
My cousin and I would get on a roll with this stuff, and we were not allowed [i]together/i] to come over to other folk's places due to this.....
I tend to be too serious. That's why I sometimes get upset when people joke with me because it feels like they aren't taking me seriously. My ex did that to me a lot.
But I also have a sense of humor and like to make people laugh. People don't always know I am joking. Maybe it's because I am too serious so they weren't expecting me to be funny.
I remember being in middle school and I was always laughing at what my teachers tell me and one day they had a talk with me and told me I don't take them seriously and then I get pissed when I see they are serious. I sometimes laugh at myself.
I am the opposite. I have a very difficult time taking anything too seriously. Arguments, deaths, break-ups, and personal failure all are examples were I feel like I have to put on an appropriate face for others. Someone will console me with a face full of tears and give me a big hug, and then it is like shouldn't I feel worse since it my loss and not theirs. I feel bad in my own way, but not the way I think people expect that I should. It does often take me longer to get over some loss and move on from it than most people for instance.
Similarly, when someone is asking for serious advice about their relationship with their S.O., a career problem or some other personal problem, I usually will have to stop myself from saying some wisecrack or just dismiss the importance of the problem. I don't know if my perspective puts less value on any one event, or if I don't have the maturity that I am supposed to have by this point. I can see it one day that I will be on my deathbed and some young doctor will give me the bad news and I will ask if he thinks if I have enough time left to finish the movie I am watching or something equally as dismissive. Is this aspergers or my own personal weirdness?
100% me. Some of my innapropriate replys have been;
When a friend told me his wife had just lost their unborn child my reply was "that was a bit careless wasn't it"
When told a friend had been run over and killed, "was the car damaged much"
When in the hearse going to my fathers funeral I started asking questions about the engine size of the car, it's top speed etc.
I turn every conversation into a joke.
100% me. Some of my innapropriate replys have been;
When a friend told me his wife had just lost their unborn child my reply was "that was a bit careless wasn't it"
When told a friend had been run over and killed, "was the car damaged much"
When in the hearse going to my fathers funeral I started asking questions about the engine size of the car, it's top speed etc.
I turn every conversation into a joke.
ooooooooooh i don't do that anymore, I even got in trouble for just a slight smile at the internal fun i'm having .....
I traumatised my sister once as a singer i didn't like came on TV, he was only famous for suffering some sort of degenerative disease and i loathed his voice, so i said
"oh, please, not the myopath...."
she roared in disapproval but ended up laughing....
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