Recognizing expressions

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Sometimes I think my problem with reading facial expressions in real time is that people's expressions don't seem to match their actual internal emotional states. So when a person smiles and asks how are you doing (but their wife just walked out on them), there is the outward expression (positive and cheerful) and the real one hidden beneath it (damn b***h!). There is a complexity to expressions that is more than just what is happening on the top layer. I see that complexity and can't resolve it with the conversation. It almost a form hypersensitivity - I see too much detail.

I have a similar problem with social chit chat. There is this surface layer to the conversation that glosses over the important stuff, but I can sense the undercurrents, even if I can't know what they are. So the blah blah blah is just static masking the important stuff.

A kindred spirit!

Yes I know exactly what you mean, I have it all the time!
I had a brain tumor and chemo treatment (don't mind that) and it amped-up that ability to overwhelming, although I only met one person who did know I was talking about.

Alot of people get very unconfortable with me after a while, presumably because I look through their social mask and they feel bare without it - I've done everything to rule out other possibilities for years like my presentation, calming the other, acting socially acceptable, etc.
Some don't, mostly people with autism

For instance I see that people are lieing because, even the pathological ones who mask their behaviour very well. You would believe them if their eyes (my focal point for the sub layers, not talking about eye movement and dialation - talking about empathic 'charge' (got no better word for it, but my impression goes to some sort of breathing) from their eyes) weren't lieing that hard.
I know body language is possible to mask through acting, but emotional charge can't be faked - intention lies within this. This is all my own experience backed-up with years of deduction and critically defining what is impression of expression and what is purely empathic charge.

A little disclaimer: I am far from finished with deducting, but in the last 2 years I rarely stumble across me being wrong - am looking for challenges to it!
I can see that something going on (mostly the problems, taste atmosphere, etc.), I can define it's emotional charge (angry, sad, happy, calm, restless, etc.), I can't see (yet) what people are thinking - only a rough image.
The tough think about empathic abilities, it's hard to prove scientificly - thus reproduction of the given experiment giving equal results.

Rambling on, let's get back at the topics discussed:
My experience with social chit-chat is that it mostly talking around the subject in hopes to getting to the subject. For example their is a big elephant in the room and the people standing in it talk about how wonderful the carpet, the tapestry and chandelier are in hopes somebody else starts talking about the elephant.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

This is pretty funny. last night at my sisters birthday party, she was saying this exact same thing! about her mother - in - law. basically Her MIL is a high class person from ventura and walks around with a smile on her face all the time and my sister said she wanted to punch her in the face for not being "real" but putting on an act like a stepford wife, they have been staying with her for two weeks because of hunting season. and are leaving by the end of this week

i've meet my brother in laws parents a few times and they were all like sooo what do you do? i said , oh nothing! and his dad thought i was taking time off to write a book or something.

When my sister was getting married, and they went to my moms house they didnt even want to sit on the furniture because i guess it wasnt good enough? she was practicly sitting on the edge of the couch on her knees because i guess she thought it was so gross..

anyways, we had a good time making fun of her last night at the party

Hehehe that mother - in - law is funny!

I fully agree with the confusion which occurs when a persons expressions dont match what he/she is talking about. If that happenes Im doomed to loose my attention to the topic.
But this can also happen to me, for example when somebody I dont know very well gives me a present. This situation is predeterminated (dont know if my english is right here) and Im forced to express appreciation, so I already know how the situation should be before I react. Even a honest thank you without a smile will maybe not come natural because Im so aware of the situation. If Im in a situation like this, where Im forced to react as other people expect me to, even if it will take 2 seconds of my time, it makes me want to listen to death metal while destroying things.

Anyway I meet a lot of people who seem to be happy "faking" their emotions, and I feel it is an attempt to manipulate me to "put them in a box" of their choice. I always know the "box" they want to be in, but I mostly put them in the box with the persons I dont desire to talk to, because of many things, most important; I dont trust them. Second important: Its annoying to be put in their little boxes.
Glad there are some honest people out there, so that I most of the time easily can avoid these aliens.

Interesting how you guys interpret a chit chat, I have to think about that! Ive always thought its just an attempt to make other people feel comfortable, but I like the idea that it can be on the surface of something bigger. Ill surely try to find that elephant if there is any!