Is pretending to be NT a skill?

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Not sure how I feel about this but I know that at times I have looked at pretending to be NT a sport or a skill. It's almost like a perverse game of social acting. Does that make senese? Do you guys see it as a skill? A tool needed to survive? A farce?

It's a skill. It's one NTs have to learn as well. They just learn it a lot faster and better.

All of the above, depending on circumstances.

I think being conscious of it helps reduce the mind-f'ing effects (of who you are vs. who you are to other people, and why there seems to be a disturbing level of difference between the two).

Over the years I've tried to not be so intense about doing that perfectly, but I've also found that it's not possible (for me, anyway) to function with it completely turned off. So, I just try to modify it to more accurately represent what I think/feel/mean-to-say.

This may seem a little pretentious but can't we make pretending to be an NT a special interest and then beat them at their own game? Are they really that complicated?

Its like trying to write with your non-dominant hand--it is really unusual to be any good at it, even if you really try.

They're not complicated at all and they like it that way. So much in fact, that anything different (that makes things complicated) is shunned from thier world.

You could probably fake it, but it would take so much effort that I can't see how it would be enjoyable or worth it. I prefer the challenge of skimming the benefits of NT society efficiently without having to change too much.

Pretending to be NT can cause an existential crisis leading to identity problems, wondering who you truly are and questioning the reason and validity of doing anything but eating, drinking and sleeping. It seems in the mere blink of the earth's eye a ten thousand year civilization has faded into obscure oblivion. So what does it matter if I am NT? It might ease a temporary situation, but in the end, enjoying life and happiness are the most important things, since everything is so transient.

It's the thing that caused me to have a mental breakdown, in the late 90s.

Lol. I can write with my non-dominant hand. Better than I act normal, hehe

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Last edited by Willard on 01 Sep 2010, 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's:-

a defense mechanism
self delusion
a futile waste of energy
self-harm
likely to lead to discomfort and pain
better to be yourself and pay no heed to those that refuse to accommodate your differences

There's a book called "Respect for Acting." It taught me a whole new world view. I think trying to act like an NT could be taken as acting. There would be a lot of research. And of course we don't have a script to help us - but there are situations that could be scripted. And then there's ad-lib or improv. It could help, especially if we took acting lessons.

But I didn't know I had Asperger's until after a lifetime of trying to fit in and not knowing what was wrong. Like Cockney Rebel, I had a breakdown. I am currently living on disability and I have given myself permission to be as weird as can be - if people don't like it, I can get even weirder.

Those of you that are younger - try the helps that you find. And become Anthony Hopkins or Angelina Jolie - or one of the great character actors - it could help a lot. You could develop a useful role that you will not get too inolved with - I mean, you'll know it's only a role. It won't mess up your head.

CockneyRebel, I noticed your posts seem happier and I was very glad to see it.

Deadeyexx said "NTs have to learn as well. They just learn it a lot faster and better"

Apple in my eye said "I think being conscious of it helps reduce the mind-f'ing effects (of who you are vs. who you are to other people, and why there seems to be a disturbing level of difference between the two)."

BTDT said "Its like trying to write with your non-dominant hand"

All of which combines with where I have been to yield a synthesized new insight.

Functionally, of course, it is for me like chameleon skin and octopus ink [so redundant, they do many of them color change too!] - a defense that hides me [albeit imperfectly] and makes me less likely to be green monkeyed than if I acted out. But there is also the imperfection. I am reminded [my language teaching rears its ugly head] of the terminal 2 phenomenon. Some people, we are told, never manage to get past the second level of competence in a foreign language [I will spare you the rest of the long and interesting lecture series with rants built in].

2 is NOT a very high level of competence, though you will get your cup coffee and maybe push your business deal through. You will never make ANYBODY think you are a native.

Well, in doing NT I am a terminal 2, for sure. Stuck at a minimal if somewhat functionoal level.

Which may be PART of why I often fail to convince people I am a native speaker of American English [I am usually read as a Brit but NOT in the UK - I was Spanish once.

It's living a lie.

It is a learned skill. Like learning to paint by numbers.

I have worked at it for many decades and I pass for human very readily.

ruveyn