Lack of Age Disclosure Here Is Frustrating

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Is there some reason why *many* people on this forum choose not to disclose their ages? If so -- some safety or anonymity issue -- then just tell me and I will get it. But, if not, I'll just throw out the fact that it's really hard to interact with people when you don't know how old they are. I'm 38, and the way I might act with teenagers is necessarily going to be different than the way I act with octogenarians. When I don't know what someone is, it's really hard to say age-appropriate stuff.

Actually, that sort of begs the question: *should* I be interacting with teenagers at all? My conclusion is "yes" -- that if I see a 15-year-old guy in a similarly awkward situation that I was in at that age, and I can pass along some bit of advice that worked for me, then it is appropriate. I think that's the assumption, here, right? There's no minimum age for members as far as I know -- or if there is, it's quite low.

Hmm, I generally don't tailor my interactions for specific age audiences. I treat everyone like an intelligent human being. I'm an optimist.

I'm 52. But I'm crazy (I surf on the Great Lakes right up until they freeze over) so my age is not to relevant to getting to know me.

I don't hide my age (43), but I'd guess that maybe many members do because of privacy, or maybe they worry that if they're too young, people might not take them seriously. Based on my observation, I think there are a lot of teens/early 20s members. Only a few in my age range and older, unless people aren't truthful.

One of the main factors in Asperger's is that we tend to get along best with much older people than our own age. When I was in elementary school, most of my friends were retired people with their own kids grown & gone. I got along best with them, and could not interact with kids my own age. I felt afraid of, and judged by, other kids. I think it's good that on this forum, kids who feel now as I did then, might be able to talk here without the wall of apprehension that exists face to face. Just a thought....

Charles

I didn't used to display my age because it gave me more annonimity, but I got some PMs from younger guys expressing interest in me and I kept having to tell them I was way older than them. I figured it was easier to just disclose my age and the PMs stopped.

The minimum age to join any forum, by law in the US, which is where this forum is based, is 13.

I'd say it's a personal choice whether or not you want that information public. The fact that my age is public causes a little drama from numerous ageists sometimes, and that can be quite annoying, but I show it anyway because other people appreciate me because of my age (they say I'm mature for my age, etc) instead of using it to take cheap shots at me like some bigots have done in the past.

But yeah, I don't see why it's a problem with your day-to-day use of the forum at all. If someone doesn't want to disclose their age online, that's their own choice. Just reply how you feel is appropriate for a public forum regardless of who you're replying to.

It's not at all a matter of treating people differently based on perceived age-related intelligence. It's really just the practical issue I identified of "saying age-appropriate stuff." Take as an example a guy having trouble with his girlfriend. Pretty typical scenario around here, right? I wouldn't suggest that a 30-year-old guy "slip his girlfriend a note in study hall." And I wouldn't suggest that a 14-year-old guy take his girlfriend away on a long, romantic weekend. Both suggestions would be absolutely silly, let alone not age-appropriate.

I couldn't have said it better.

It's a nice sentiment, and one with which I agree. But, it misses my point. See my follow-up post above.

Exactly. I too wonder why people don't disclose their age on here.

When I was younger, I wouldn't post my age on any forums (this goes for chat-rooms too) because if people found out a) I was a girl, b) I was 16-25, then I used to get people hassling me or being inappropriate. Now that I'm 30 (shh! don't tell everyone!) I don't care as much as I'm a lot less likely to attract any unwanted attention...

Here's what I do. If I really want to get involved, and need more context than the poster provides, I ask for it.

Then ask.

Either way, it's not your fault if they don't give you enough information to give them proper advice, and they're the only ones who'd suffer from it. Don't let it bother you

This.

But in your example, OP, the poster would probably give a few hints which would help you out anyway, for example saying where they know the girl from.

Last edited by Asp-Z on 09 Nov 2010, 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

*hassles amber_missy*

Ahh, I'm only kidding.

I used to hang out with much older people esp when I was first getting into the pro music thing. I either hang with much older or way younger as most my own age got boring! Physically I'm almost 41,mentally? Somewhere between 12 and 22 depending on the day...