Learning and functionality

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How much have you been able to learn to compensate for that which doesn't come naturally to us?
There are some things I don't think I'll ever understand (and I don't want to), but at this point I've learned enough to know how to act "appropriately" in most situations. I can generally get through things without insulting people or appearing unfeeling.

By nature, I am a problem solver. My methods can become quite creative depending on the circumstance. I don't often find myself in a situation I can't puzzle through. The exception tends to be when other people who are traditionally uncooperative are involved, and then I will attempt to work around them.

From my late 20's to now, I think I learned a great deal about reasonable expectation and examining other people's motivations and feelings. I can also step back and see how things I say or do could be perceived or are inappropriate. I am 37. I wonder if as a result of the way we're wired that we don't plateau in the same way typicals do, but continue to improve slowly as we age?

I think this is a little disjointed, and I apologize for this - can anyone relate?

I think it has to do with deep focus on other things distracting us from learning certain fundamental things in our formative years. I've compensated by deconstruction and developing a very clinical view of reality and the mind.
My aunt is very much like me I'm certain she's AS, she has a psychology degree and my guess is it was part of her quest to learn the things she never learned due to her AS.
My life seems to mirror her's in many ways. She's currently divorced and on disability

Temple Grandin has suggested that autistic people never stop learning and improving. I think you are right that the same quality in our brains that makes us develop such uneven connections also might prevent us from plateauing the way neurotypical people do.

I also think with me the immaturity has something to do with it. I am still childish in many ways, but I do keep getting more grown up in ways that other people my age seem not to.

NT's plateau? Is that why people don't try to change when I give them tips?
People also don't believe me when I said I've changed so much.

I'm like you. I don't insult people too much. If something slips out I say I'm sorry. I'm impulsive.
In less than a year I've changed a whole lot. I'm pretty much the opposite to what I used to be.

22 and under: lethargic, bad diet, not terribly active, knew nothing of these sciences.

Currently: Healthy, active, always wanting to learn more and do more, and I live science.

In real emergencies I'm able to override my normal inability to cope with stress and do what needs to be done. I've been in a lot of violent or emergency situations and I go into "robot mode" and am able to turn off emotional needs, and remember everything that's happening in sequence and without bias and am able to recount the details clearly.

I've also gotten a lot better in certain social situations -- I'm fine while shopping or being introduced to new people. I'm still pretty bad if I'm somewhere where I don't know anyone and people try to talk to me, like a new class or a crowded Greyhound bus. I'm usually comfortable as long as one person I know well is with me. I've learned to act a certain way around people to make them feel comfortable and I actually enjoy doing it because I like to make other people feel comfortable. It didn't come naturally the way other people learn, I think, and I have to pep talk myself before going into a social situation. Remember to smile, say excuse me, make eye contact, ask them questions about themselves, but nothing too personal! That kind of talk. So, I have to have reminders. XD When someone gets to know me better I just act how I want, and I've never had a problem because by then people know that even if I express my emotions strangely, I don't mean anything bad. I really do like people, so I've made a lot of effort over the years to learn how to get along with people.

Like you, though, there are some things that I don't understand and don't want to ever understand. The way people lie to and manipulate each other, for one -- I'll never understand why anyone would do it, and I don't want to know why because if you understand it you're halfway to being able to do it! Ughhhh.