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theexternvoid
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14 Nov 2010, 6:17 pm

Some people generalize aspies as having very dulled emotions and also a very low desire for social interactions. This is refuted with yet another generalization that aspies do have strong emotions and a strong desire to be social but just aren't good at expressing emotions and maintaining friendships. Being skeptical of generalizations, I suspect that the truth is somewhere in between.

Questions:
1) Do you believe that aspies are more likely to have less desire for social interactions than NTs and are more likely to have dulled emotions compared to an NT?
2) If not, do you believe that having a weak desire for social interactions and dulled emotions means that you have something else and not Asperger's?



conundrum
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14 Nov 2010, 6:24 pm

theexternvoid wrote:
Being skeptical of generalizations, I suspect that the truth is somewhere in between.


This is exactly why they are called "generalizations"--everyone is different. Being AS or NT does not necessarily toss you into a broad category called "desire to socialize."

I can, however, answer from my own perspective:

1) I didn't understand emotion for a long time, including my own, so I learned to "dull" them. I didn't desire social interaction because I was bullied A LOT in grade school, so all I wanted was to be left alone. Granted, even at home (where I wasn't bullied) I preferred being alone, too, so maybe that's a "yes."

2) Schizoid personality disorder is sometimes associated with these. Again, too broad a generalization--as you can see, it involves more than just "weak desire for social interactions and dulled emotions."


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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14 Nov 2010, 6:29 pm

At one time I wanted friendship and had friends because I thought that was what everyone did and if I didn't do it, I would be completely miserable so I had this strong drive to try and have friends even though it wasn't the best lifestyle for me. It was very difficult for me. I got out of the brainwashing and started living a way that was easiest for me, without as much social interaction and a lot of my anxiety went away.
I found that I could be just as happy, if not more so, without friends than to have friends just for the sake of it, because I subconsciously believed I had to have them no matter what.
I consider this is a part of my autism. I don't need to be with friends to be happy.



nemorosa
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14 Nov 2010, 6:30 pm

There do appear to be two types of aspie; those who crave social interaction and those who aren't much interested in it. I'm the latter type, and from my point of view those who wish for a more social life are the odd weird ones. :?

I can't really speak about the 'dulled' emotions, as I only have my own experiences to speak of so no idea if my emotions are dulled or not. I certainly feel that I react quite differently to the norm as regards to my emotions though.



14 Nov 2010, 7:21 pm

there are four emotions; desire, joy, fear, and sorrow.



Craig28
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14 Nov 2010, 7:24 pm

Jutty wrote:
there are four emotions; desire, joy, fear, and sorrow.


I've experienced all 4 this year! Wow, what a year!



TiaMaria
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14 Nov 2010, 7:40 pm

I love having friends and socializing in moderation, but I need lots of alone time. I would not like it if I had nothing but alone time though. I like a balance.

I have very strong emotions, I just don't have them in relation to what other people think I'm supposed to.



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14 Nov 2010, 10:45 pm

I think whether you crave social interaction depends a lot on your age and previous social experiences. I think everyone tends to feel they're missing something (especially romance) if they're not interacting with a peer group when they're young. Once you pass 30 or so, it tends to seem a lot less urgent that people accept you, as long as you can keep your job. The more stressful your social experiences have been, the more likely you are to begin to shun them.

As to emotions, I believe that we have exceptionally strong emotions, else we wouldn't suffer from emotional meltdowns. But I think our emotions run to the passionate extremes. For myself at least, I have often felt that some of the more subtle emotional states are kind of lost on me. I see others reacting to events in life that just don't matter enough to move me in the same way. When something does matter though, it matters a LOT.


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TiaMaria
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15 Nov 2010, 12:10 am

Avengilante wrote:
I think whether you crave social interaction depends a lot on your age and previous social experiences. I think everyone tends to feel they're missing something (especially romance) if they're not interacting with a peer group when they're young. Once you pass 30 or so, it tends to seem a lot less urgent that people accept you, as long as you can keep your job. The more stressful your social experiences have been, the more likely you are to begin to shun them.

As to emotions, I believe that we have exceptionally strong emotions, else we wouldn't suffer from emotional meltdowns. But I think our emotions run to the passionate extremes. For myself at least, I have often felt that some of the more subtle emotional states are kind of lost on me. I see others reacting to events in life that just don't matter enough to move me in the same way. When something does matter though, it matters a LOT.


I would agree with all of this.



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15 Nov 2010, 12:39 am

I have intense emotions and I sometimes want to be social. But as a kid I never really cared about having friends.
As for 'not really having Asperger's' look at the diagnostic criteria. Sure some people with AS want to have friends, but then again there are some that don't. And dull emotions would be Anhedonia or Alexithymia.


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jpfudgeworth
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15 Nov 2010, 12:45 am

Jutty wrote:
there are four emotions; desire, joy, fear, and sorrow.



I agree, although most of mine are just different shades of fear.



theexternvoid
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15 Nov 2010, 8:15 am

The point about having different emotions is an interesting one. I can recall not being too shook up when certain relatives have died, but the cat I had for only 13 months was a whole other story! I think that can be confused for dulled emotions. When you don't react emotionally to the things of which you are expected then you and others begin to think that you just don't have much emotion.

I also agree about the socialness / romance thing. Personally I've found having a good wife is absolutely necessary for my own happiness. But that satisfies 100%, no necessity to have a bunch of friends in addition to the good wife.



richardbenson
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15 Nov 2010, 1:36 pm

You know what, I dont know! at this point i could do with a friend and a Significant other.

Now that i'm older that is. :jester:


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Mindslave
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15 Nov 2010, 5:49 pm

I don't lack emotions, I have too many at once, and my brain gets so confused that my emotions shut down. I have learned to dull my emotions over the years as a coping mechanism against having too many. Of course, having parents that are yellers makes it easier to ignore others.

As for my desire for social interaction, I used to want it, and want it badly. Then I realized how backwards society really is, and that I was NOT insane when I told my mother I don't want to be part of society. After going to parties with lots of alcohol and marijuana and sex, I realized that I'm not that type of person, and I don't want to be or have to be THAT guy. So I do whatever I want, whether society OKs it or not.



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15 Nov 2010, 6:13 pm

I lack emotions but when I do feel them they're pretty intense.

I think it probably varies, from what I gather, some women with Asperrger's are known to be extremely emotional.