Analyzing and eventually imitating negative NT behavior

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I've often found that I end up imitating a particular negative behavior of NTs due to analyzing/trying to figure out why they are behaving a certain way. Here's a couple of examples (embarrassment and jealousy/envy).

For example, blushing/feeling embarrassed. This is something my peers seemed to do as far back as I can remember, including school aged 5. I heard the word embarrassed for years and years and simply couldn't understand it. I then remember in high school I had a friend who would become red/blush whenever the teacher made him the center of attention or wanted him to speak. It was extremely strange and around the age of 17 I kept analyzing and trying to figure out why he was like this, and why pretty much everyone was like this.

I never did understand it, but I can still remember the day I first 'blushed' in class at age 17 when the teacher made a comment about me and instead of retorting like I usually did I decided to say nothing, then suddenly I felt everyone's attention was on me and out of nowhere -- bam -- feeling the heat in my face and finally experiencing something everybody else had been talking about for the last 17 years. I remember thinking that the more I think about other people the more like them I become! If I hadn't analyzed it so much I'm sure I wouldn't have experienced it and become prone to it like I am now.

Another example I'm dealing with right now is jealousy/envy. May seem a strange thing to say but I'm 27 and only in the last year or so did I start wondering about this and partially experiencing it. Again it's something everybody has been experiencing/talking about since school but I never understood it. Recently I started noticing a pattern on Facebook where a person posts good news about themselves (e.g. going on holiday) then, inevitably, somebody comes along and comments that they are feeling jealous (exclamation mark), then some half-hearted remark about how they're lucky and wishing them well. It's bizarre just how often I've seen this pattern of behavior recently and again I've been trying to analyze it and figure it out. Recently somebody came to me with good news (self-praise) and I felt a twinge of what one might call jealousy/envy for the first time; I'm certain again that if I hadn't been analyzing this behavior so much I wouldn't be imitating it.

So a couple of questions. Can you relate to this? Also, is there an explanation for it? I've recently been reading about Theory of Mind and have been wondering about whether it's related to an increasing ToM; previously I really didn't believe other people existed/had emotions but the more aware I become that this is not true, so too do I seem to care about what they think of me (e.g. embarrassment) and what they have (e.g. jealousy/envy). I find these both very negative emotions/behaviors yet on the plus side I've been finding it useful to be aware of them as I can better prevent provoking these behaviors in others, such as avoiding putting people on the spot or pointing out their shortcomings for example (so they don't feel embarrassed), or avoiding boasting about things so they don't feel inferior and become envious/jealous.

It's all very exhausting trying to understand these things and it's confusing why I've had such a huge delay in catching up with these basic social concepts. Can anybody relate? Thanks

Really, nobody?

Analyzing and eventually imitating negative NT behavior

Been there

Failed That

I'll answer later, tired now

OK, I'll bite.

I carried out an experiment - not a true one, mind you.
I noticed that some women seemed to be treated the best by their SO's when they were awful to them. They didn't cook for them, help them with money and frequently withheld affection, especially if they were not getting what they wanted. They also belittled them often and publicly. So I tried this approach out on a very small scale with someone I'd dated once before and had treated me like crap. As bizarre as it was, the worse I treated him the better he was to me.

Ultimately I severed ties completely because I didn't want to be around someone who was so screwed up as to think that someone treating them worse than an animal was what a relationship was. And it made me feel horrible too.

I will never understand why some people celebrate cruelty, manipulation and selfishness. It's not powerful and it's not wise. I guess that's what you have to resort to if you have a small mind?

I can relate to this and I can explain this. These are automated responses every human has (aside the rare exceptions), you're feelings are the result of it.

You might not be entirely aware that these are happening, but they do happen. A little comfort, people in general neither are aware they happen - the more emotional, the heavier the reactions.

I too am walking on eggshells so to say with alot of people I meet, there are alot of light inflammable people out there - waaaay to emotional for my liking.

Watch out with behaviour, it's contagious

Emotional development in a person with autism is different from somebody without autism, I can relate to that so does my social enviroment which has a good bunch of people who are diagnosed with autism. Late blossoming, eternal children, little adults, etc.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes