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Jamesy
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21 Nov 2010, 10:48 am

What certain things or habits do people with AS do which might appear weird from a NT's viewpoint?



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21 Nov 2010, 10:55 am

Well, I'm just guessing, but at least one thing would have to be hand flapping/rubbing/twitching or just plain stimming in general.

I'm guessing this because I tend to physically stim with my hands pretty severely nowadays, so it's probably noticed and looked at weirdly. Honestly, it was one of the first things the psychologist I saw (who is very much an NT) asked about as well.


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21 Nov 2010, 11:03 am

Most obvious for an NT might be special interests that do not fit what is expected of a certain person's age group, sex, cultural group... For example a child may be considered odd if he/she is interested in astronomy or nuclear physics because many NTs think that subjects like that are too "difficult" for a child to deal with and should only be interesting once someone reaches a certain age.

Another thing is humour. While most Aspies have a sense of humour, it is in most cases different from the average NT sense of humour, which makes us more likely to laugh in situations that NTs do not find particularly funny or where it may even be considered inappropiate to laugh.

Then there is social instincts. We behave different from NTs in many cases, be it that we show unexpected reactions or that we simply need longer to figure out what a facial expression means. Even when an NT cannot put his/her finger on what is odd, they will intuitively know that the other person is not behaving like the average person and that in turn is likely to make NTs more wary of said person.

Many NTs also have problems understanding that some people with ASD have trouble dealing with certain noises, smells, situations or that they just need to stick to their schedule to feel all right. Many NTs tend to see this kind of behaviour as inflexible and whiny.

The AS tendency to tell the truth even if it is uncomfortable may also put some NTs off. It is not a very nice feeling to have one's shortcomings pointed out, after all, even if it happened in a friendly rather than a scornful way.

I reckon there is a lot of other things as well, but the common component is most likely that NTs have a certain (in most cases subconscious) idea about how other people ought to behave and every behaviour that does not fit that expectation is likely to raise their suspicions that the person performing it may be odd or even potentially dangerous.


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Kon
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21 Nov 2010, 11:04 am

The way they walk, sometimes. My Aspie friend walked like a duck (toes pointed outward not straight) and looked like he was going to trip over his own feet.



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21 Nov 2010, 1:50 pm

For me, I think that my usual missing of those non-verbal cues that seem to be so natural for most people not on the spectrum has made me appear a little "weird" to them at times.


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Jamesy
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21 Nov 2010, 3:43 pm

What are non verbal cues?



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21 Nov 2010, 3:49 pm

Basically, nonverbal cues are those components of body language that are to induce you to do something or to stop doing something. Like when everybody else in a group voices their opinion on a certain subject and then people look at you to make you realize that you are to add yours or like when somebody gets a faked coughing fit to make you realize that you'd better not talk on about a particular topic because it might get embarrassing for one of the people present.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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21 Nov 2010, 4:19 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What certain things or habits do people with AS do which might appear weird from a NT's viewpoint?

Something weird happened to me today. I went out to eat with some relatives, in one of their cars. My relative parked crooked, but the car was in the parking space's lines so I thought it was alright, just a little off, certainly passable. My relative told us "Just a minute while I repark the car" after we had all gotten out. I asked "why are you going to repark it?" I wanted it to stay right where it was though it didn't matter. I have no idea why I do that. It doesn't matter if she reparks it, there were a few empty spaces close by. That moment was chaotic to me and later I felt like an oaf for not keeping my mouth shut and staying out of it.
My relative said "nevermind, I'll just leave it there."
By then I was regretting demanding it stay in the place it was in.
One of them pointed out that it might be hard to get back into the car if someone else parked in the space next to ours, which was empty. I immediately said "then you should go ahead and repark." By then it was too late because we were already close to being inside the restaraunt. When we came back out after we finished eating, there was a car in the previously empty space, but there was plenty of room between our car and theirs. The driver's side had less space, but they still managed to get inside without banging the doors into the car next to us.



Philologos
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22 Nov 2010, 12:23 am

Experience says, just about anything I do can be judged weird at any time without notice.



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22 Nov 2010, 4:58 am

Lack of eye contact - can be taken as untrustworthy.

Stimming/ hand flapping - can be seen as anxiety or MR. A lot of this can be seen as fidgety/ hyperactivity though.

Animal/ machine sounds (yes I do them) - Just really makes the person feel uncomfortable.

Blunt honesty - Can embarrass them.

Lack of social skills/ knowing when to speak/ interrupting/ appropriate conversational topics/ trying to change the subject suddenly - Can also embarrass them or make them think of you as rude.

Repetitive behaviour /stacking/ lining things up (I turn to this when I get bored) - They just think it's weird and don't know how to get you involved in a conversation.

Monologues - If they're nice they'll give you a few minutes but then they will get bored or annoyed.

Taking things literally - They think you are sensitive and have no sense of humor.

Correcting people - Really irritates them and make you sound like a know-it-all. But I am so...

Saying too much personal information - makes them feel uncomfortable.

Rigid behaviour - I get nervous laughs from this one. My friends are very patient with me.

Either staring way up at the sky or at some object in the distance - They might think you're a bit bored instead of fascinated with the design on that coffee mug.

Lack of non verbal language hasn't got me weird looks yet.
People also seem to like my random facts of the day too.

Yep, my friends definitely have a lot of patience with me.


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22 Nov 2010, 7:18 am

All that pensieve said, basically.



Jamesy
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22 Nov 2010, 12:56 pm

I do change the topic quite a lot and suddenly but that is only if i am uncoumftable when discussing a certain subject.



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22 Nov 2010, 1:58 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What certain things or habits do people with AS do which might appear weird from a NT's viewpoint?


Breathing.

Staying alive long enough to actually be noticed.