Frustration

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How do you just get people to understand?

No matter what, at the end of the day you cannot think like the "mob" or the "NTs". My brain doesn't work like that. I try to get it to work like that. I try to get it to understand all of it. The rat race that is life, that is "NT" life. But I just. At the end of the day, no matter how hard I try. No matter how much I try to stop it.
I can't. My brain just doesn't work like everybody else's brain.

I never tried to think like them. Sometimes tried [futile] to act like them. Mostly wondered what was wrong with them.

Sort of figured - their light is polarized at right angles to mine.

lol, i think getting people to understand may be something that "NT" people struggle with as well.
i don't know if people take the time to truly understand others or other things in life.

not everyone thinks alike, that apparently especially is the case here. you shouldn't try to be different than you are, be you. i know i've thought before that it would be nice if society or the world changed. i think that's the idea of "wrong planet".

i did fine so far in life being how i was, and i wasn't even aware of my differences. maybe it was ignorance. i think i learned how to think how others do, more "rational" or "logical", but it just kind of messed me up. it's not something i can keep up either. maybe it's only personality difference.
i'm not sure if i am "NT", but i sure don't feel like "normal" people.

i wonder how you see the world differently. there are apparently many different ways to perceive the world, so i just don't get how seeing differently is a "bad" thing.

maybe, something to focus on would be to try living your life in a way that is fulfilling to you, and then why does it matter if you're thinking how others think and if others understand or not? i think you will always find others who understand, like attracts like.

Last edited by tyliseea on 17 Nov 2010, 3:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

embrace the fact that you can't understand a pretty shallow world, you know? means you have the potential to reconstruct, if even just yourself, with new values. that's an amazing ability.

Because if I don't. I alienate a lot of people. I am even bad to the point where I can alienate teachers. And its between my grade and being normal. I feel judged every time. I feel like every grade I get is based on a judgment or an assessment on who I am. Not the work I have given.

It's a bad thing when people expect you to be a certain way but even though you try you can't. It's bad when people make fun of you and exclude you.
It's a bad thing when every sense gets overwhelmed, when you lose control over things that NT's don't.
When you're an adult but don't feel like one.
And like the OP says: when you alienate people even if you don't want to.

Actually it's not a bad thing. I'd hate to live in a shallow world where acceptance is determined by what you wear, what music you listen to and just how 'in the loop' you are.

I embrace the fact that I don't understand the spperficial NT world and celebrate my differences.

This.

You can't. Nor you can ever truly understand others.

What you can do is increase the understanding of those people that are important to you.

I'm try. Just very very hard.

Agreed. I seem to have such a very different perception of the world that I really DO feel like an alien at times. I can speak human, but I can't grok it.


GROK

i would say that alienating people isn't necessarily a bad thing, if they don't understand you.
if you are alienating people purposely or subconsciously, then you may want to think about why you are doing so. why are you pushing people away?

you have to be ok with you, that is the apparent wisdom. it all starts inside of yourself. if you are ok with yourself, others (who matter) will be ok with you as well. you need to accept yourself.
you will not please everyone, not everyone likes everyone else, not everyone gets along. people are different, and that is ok. you can stick with trying to find others like you, or learning and growing to interact with different people.

i don't see why anything should be a limited choice between one thing and the other. that is black and white, negative thinking. that isn't what matters in life. at least to me. it may to other people. but those people may not be very happy.

your feelings are your choice, or something that you allow. you don't have to feel judged. i think that ALLOWING your sense of self to be dependent upon something as superficial as school grades (or anything outside of yourself) is not good for you, will not lead to happiness. you want to be happy, right?

what matters in school and in life, is what you LEARN, NOT your grade! at least to me.
in superficial society, people may care about grades. maybe it's justification that they are an objective measurement, blah, blah, blah. i also think, that if you learn the subject at hand, then you should be able to do well without trying. possibly.

if you are not learning well, or are having trouble with doing work, i wonder why you are not being provided with the help that you need. you have to be your own best advocate, and insist that you get what you need.

ideally, people would have a passion for learning. i can see how school systems discourage that, which is why i like alternative educational philosophies.

i would also ask, what is your passion? usually pursuing your passion will give you direction in life, and energy to take care of other things.

i wish i could say something more comprehensive, more concise, but i'm not on top of my game right now.

what about the understanding of being human? if you understand being human, can't you understand all people? focusing on how we're the same, rather than different.

i was asking how you see the world differently, btw. how do you?

first off, why on earth would you care what others expect of you? and then why would you even try to be what other people expect of you? be YOURSELF!! !
if people make fun of you and exclude you, then that's their problem and reflects on their character. how you handle exclusion or even your view of exclusion is your responsibility. i think it would be better to handle it in a positive and constructive way rather than a negative and destructive way. there is no sense in any negative thinking, the why cant's,etc. no excuses.

now, i will not argue with you on the sensitivity to environment. you just have to cope with that the best that you can. i hole up in my room at times and do something to numb it out. i play music and sing, or hyperfocus on something, etc. maybe you can check out the book "the highly sensitive person". hopefully you have understanding people around you, and if the people around you are not, then you need to be done with them and find other supportive people.

i'm an adult and don't feel like one at times. what's wrong with that? everyone has an inner child. accept how you are. if other people have a problem with that, that's their problem.

alienating people when you don't want to i can understand. maybe you're alienating people because you're wanting to be accepted by them too much. if you go back to yourself and are ok with yourself, and don't focus on alienating people or trying to get their approval or whatever other problems you have with them, and instead being open when they do come to you, then that should cease to be a problem. focus on yourself, inward. or your interests. find others with mutual interests.

maybe i'm immune to all of this because i went through it growing up and know no different now, i've just accepted how i am, or have gone far enough into my own world, and had found acceptance in counterculture or outcasts. i was shy in school, i didn't play much with others, and i was ok being "alongside" people. i was teased and manipulated, etc. i just kind of went "ok, whatever" and kept on doing my own thing. i think i can see now how i had never been social, had been observational instead of interactive. i never knew different, and i'm fine.

maybe all this difference between "NT's" and non-NT's is not great either, because it's another form of labeling and separation. it is seeing others as different than and separate than yourself, which, if i have understood correctly, is a lower level of consciousness.

Last edited by tyliseea on 19 Nov 2010, 1:11 am, edited 2 times in total.

In order to give you correct advice, I need to know in what way do your teachers expect you to think like an NT in order to give you the grades you have worked for?

Journalism. I have to think like the mob. Which is proving very difficult.

I can't think like my audience. Because whenever I try, I feel its illogical.

@Ty: I do care about the learning. However, the school cares about the grade. Especially college. I need a grade to pass class and I need good grades. Or no university will take me in.

My passions is getting a job that is logical and challenge. That will grow as I grow. Problem, there is no job really like that. And I hate it. I get so bored so easily. If I'm not being challenge, if I'm don't see growth. I lose motivation. I lose a lot of motivation to do anything. Because I need to learn.

I want to learn. That's all I want. I want knowledge, logic, and motivational logic. But jobs don't run on logic.