AS: always figuring out what could go wrong?
I was told by the Neuropsychologist that diagnosed me, that people with Asperger's Syndrome will come up with a million reasons why something will not work. This of course was in the context of, finding my own place to live. But I suspect she means many other things as well.
How many of you out there on the spectrum find yourself going "Oh this won't work because....x"?
But more than that, how many of you go "X will never work because of y" and turn out to be completely correct?
Let me be the first one to chime in: YES, DEFINITELY. In my group of friends, whenever I predict something going wrong when we're headed somewhere, one of two things happen: either my prediction comes true with 90% accuracy or I'm completely wrong and everything goes wonderfully. So when I start making predictions, my friend tell me to keep them to myself (in good nature, of course), since they're superstitious in that sense.
People such as my parents tend to believe that this tendency is some cleverly constructed way to get out of doing things.
Whereas, that's not entirely the case in reality. If I have a reasonable expectation that something will nullify the effort or even cause negative effects not just neutralized effects, I am loathe to do something, especially if not doing whatever at least has the effect of maintaining the status quo.
(for instance I see no point in moving out, to live on my own, if it ends up that my parents have to pay my rent for me. It makes no sense to look for a roommate if the person ends up being a thief or just plain can't get along with me.)
I'm always like that when it comes to things involving people. I need to go through every scenario so that I am rehearsed as to what I should say or do in any given situation. Needless to say all these scenarios gives countless things that could go 'wrong' and therefore the safest thing is not to act.
No they don't.
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blackcat
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I always figure out all the things that could go wrong and then I take it to the next level and obsess about possible solutions. Then I come up with new problems attached to my solutions, which I then have to resolve (in detail of course). I spend entire days, sometimes weeks like this, my head a complete bee-hive.
I definitely have a high awareness of what can go wrong, though I doubt it's got a lot to do with social anxiety, as it happens whether the plan in question has a social element to it or not.
I read something by an Aspie guy - he was at a meeting where somebody asked "what could possibly go wrong?" and he replied by listing all the things he could think of that could go wrong. Apparently that wasn't what they wanted to hear - they were seeking reassurance and support for their plan rather than a literal answer to their question. So the guy adjusted his behaviour so he'd fit in better at the meetings. Frankly that bothers me, and I wonder how groups avoid treading on banana skins if they don't want to see the banana skin map before they start walking.
I suspect that NTs are fond of collective "psyching up" exercises to spin all the doubt from their heads before they tackle anything complicated or difficult, and when they're doing that, anybody trying to point out the truth to them isn't going to win any friends. But I can't psyche myself up to believe a plan is flawless. I'm really not uncomfortable with an honest assessment of the risks......I can decide from that whether those risks are reasonable (in the light of the required investment and the possible benefits of success), and once I've made my decision to go ahead, I don't feel daunted by my awareness that it might not work. In fact knowing the possible pitfalls can help me to aviod them while I'm performing the task.
But I also probably still apply too much negativity to ideas in general.....I suspect that there are a lot of things worth trying that I dismiss out of hand. Mostly I find I can make progress with that by thinking carefully about the pros and cons of whatever idea it is.....most of the negativity seems to come from the times when I don't really give the matter detailed thought, it's more like an emotional response to begin with, and when I look more closely at that, I often find there was something spooking me that really isn't so dangerous.
What's important is to be at least doing something.....in principle I've got nothing against the idea of a life of inactivity, as long as the food and shelter etc. don't run out, but in practice the food and shelter does run out (for most of us), and if we want anything to get better, there's no finer method than to have a go at improving things. So if I'm not actually trying anything out any more, I'm not really living, and I can expect my life to get worse unless I get off my butt and work on it.
PS Science research is one area in which great rigour in foreseeing the weaknesses of experimental design is highly valued. A good scientist will be grateful if somebody points out objective problems in the plans, because a flawed experiment can be a huge waste of resources.
In today's risk-averse society, I'd be surprised if Aspies stood out as being particularly unusual with their awareness of what could go wrong.
I totally fit this. I definately spend a lot of time planning out everything to the smallest detail and, yes, figuring out what could go wrong.
Yeah I get this too. I've been told that I pick things apart simply to find something I don't like about it so I have a reason to reject the advice or whatnot. This is not true. I'd say someone who does not 'pick apart' and evaluate advice to see if it would help their situation is a fool.
My ex-husband told me that I was a very negative person and was always complaining. This also is a misconception. I want to prepare for whatever possible things might go wrong so I try to anticipate them and come up with ways to counter them. And in voicing my concerns about how things might go wrong, I am perceived as complaining. But I don't necessarily reject circumstances that are difficult or have a high possibility of failure. I simply try to anticipate and compensate for potential failures which I deem as giving me a higher chance for success. I can't imagine 'just doing' something without trying to anticipate the pitfalls. Seems like a very stressful way to live and it seems to me that such an attitude would have a high chance for failure.
-edit-
I suspect that NTs are fond of collective "psyching up" exercises to spin all the doubt from their heads before they tackle anything complicated or difficult, and when they're doing that, anybody trying to point out the truth to them isn't going to win any friends.
I totally agree with this. This sounds a lot like what my ex was talking abount. You're apparently not supposed to point out the potential flaws in a situation because that makes you a negative person and makes everyone disheartened or something. The banana skin analogy is exactly how I feel about it. Great post
Its funny too because part of the reason I bring up the potential pitfalls of a situation is because I want to discuss them with the said other person and find solutions and reassurances. So in that way it is similar to the NT thing you mentioned above. I do want reassurances. I just want them to be real and fact based. I don't want to be told 'its ok,' I want to be told 'It will be ok because if that happens we can do this: *details plan*". But for some reason other people don't seem to get this and I am still perceived as negative. *sigh*
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