Lack of consideration?

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I have got 'bad' aspergers not mild. I do ask and complain a lot to my parents and brother about my issues living with aspergers and other things in general.

Really though all they want me to do is just sit back and shut up and let me rot away in a dark corner while they go on and enjoy life. My 18 year old brother even said to me "Just shut your mouth and don't say anything". My behaviour has been appaling but anyway i don't really want to go down that route in this thread. My farther even wants me too top myself.

I guess its like people in wheel chairs or with one leg having to deal with and accept that they will never be able to walk. I suppoused from my family and other peoples point of view they just want me to 'grow up' and accept my fate with maturity. they don't realise either that i only do horrible things and lash out because my life is really hard and i do find things alot harder than non autistic people. What they don't seem to be able to comprehend either is the fact that prior to 17 i thought i could have a good quality of life and do the same things as other people and the fact they waited untill i was 17 to tell me i was on the autistic spectrum. its like they knew prior to 17 i was building my hopes up to having a good life and they decided to bring it all crashing down by telling me i was disabled.

I have a hard time manageing stress and anxiety which is one of the reasons why i am living at home like a disabled person and cannot spread my wings. my parents did buy a flat for me to move into but i don't i am independant enough to move in because of my poor coping methods.

Do you think its unfair that they have no consideration for the fact i am disabled and just don't really care that much to help me improve my quality of life? Have NTs got a lack of sympathy?

As far as I am concerned as well even therapy and CBT is just a dead end road.............. Unfourtantly having aspergers in an NT dominated society we are nothing more than a burden on them and if they had a choice they would want us dead. Never knew having aspergers was such a bad thing?

I know people who are experts in pyschology who label me as being a 'disabled person' and say there is no way i can improve my quality of life.

Last edited by Jamesy on 29 Jan 2011, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You might be able to approach your family and say something like, "I am miserable and want to improve my situation. Can we all work together so that everyone is more content?"
Then you might could have an open discussion about ways to make it possible, so that everyone, including you, is happier with the living environment

i think my parents can be very selfish though and all they care about really is themselves and thier quality of life like succeeding with thier jobs, making new friends and just generall broadening thier horizions. Even if its their own son

If i did say "lets work together to improve my situation' they would say "go see a pychologist" or "We are not pychologists"

Who knows though i could be in for a suprise because if i was independant for long enough i might get used to it and be able to cope better. Maybe its living at home with my family which is causing me to find life hard and cope with things?

Last edited by Jamesy on 29 Jan 2011, 1:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thinking about this logically, it really is unlikely that your parents and siblings simply don't care about you. It is far more likely that your behaviour, even if you don't realize it, puts some sort of strain on the family, and so when it comes to interacting with you their default mood is already to be annoyed or exasperated.

Sadly as well i think my parents attitude is "my son is a 21 year old man and we have given him our time and have no obligation to help improve his life and he is in the driving seat" Alot of selfish people in my family (including myself). I really do think though all my parents want me to is disappear so they can enjoy the precious time that is left of thier lives and really i don't blame them for adopting that attitude since it can be a pain in hte ass having to care for a disabled person esspecially when my parents are in thier early 50's.

I think thier puzzled as well as to why i cannot just accept my life and the way things are for me. Kinda hard though when you see most people around you doing and having things you wish you could have. I suppouse my brother and parents expect me to deal with my own problems without thier help, i think they might be just trying to turn into a man? I guess someitmes you have to cruel to be kind like tough love.

I suppouse i myself can be very exploitive.

Perhaps as well i just need to find a way of coming to terms with it in an adult mature manner and just try and cope with things better.

HOGWASH! You're talking to the wrong people!

There are quite a lot of professionals that DON'T buy into that line of thinking. You may have to go through quite a few of idiots who do think like that to find those that believe differently, but it's WORTH the effort.

Ignore the fools. Keep looking. The good ones are out there.

Normal is a state of mind. You are what you think you are.

Yeah true LOL some shrinks who study pyschology are just brainless and stupid.

Wait, how exactly does being disabled mean that you'll never have a good quality of life?