Is stimming compulsory for you?

Post Reply New Topic

When I'm learning something I like to grind my right fist into my left hand and grind my teeth and learning something without doing this just doesn't feel right. When I'm in lectures in college I often do it as a reflex and people start looking at me like I've 3 heads or something. I probably look like a right lunatic when I do this. Its pretty hard to conceal this one cuz the more calm and inconspicuous I make it, the less satisfying it becomes. I often replace this stim with something not as obvious such as clenching my fists but its just not the same thing.

When I read I have to move my body in some way. I've tried to replace my annoying tongue flick over the teeth stim but I always find I go back to it.
I always feel like there's a pressure on those areas that I just need a wave around, especially my arms and legs.

It's not actually essential in the strictest sense, but let's just say I build up tension and/or anxiety if I don't do it.

When in a comfortable environment, I would say yes. This is one of the major reasons I learn alone.

Not to sound negative, but I think maybe you (the OP) are going to have to choose between not doing that behaviour around others, or doing your learning more by
yourself than around others, or just simply ignoring what the heck they may (or may not) be thinking
(I'd do the last two if it were me)

It's not necessarily compulsory, but sometimes it feels like it is. I can control it if I'm aware of it, but squelching it is unpleasant and just makes me more anxious.

Compulsory is a pretty serious word here, but it is close... I mean if my first born was gonna die if I did not stop stimming, I think I could prolly stop. BUT that would come with some pretty serious consequences for me. I would have much more anxiety and much less focus. I must pace, flap, whatever... in order to be at peace sometimes and to focus.

It is, but I can stop it. Sometimes I shouldn't stim, f.e. when I'm in public.
It feels like a big load of energy or like electric shock. I must stim. It's unhealthy to keep this energy inside. So I stim when I can.

Yes. I have considered trying to give it up but have more serious matters to attend to first. Stimming doesn't hurt so it doesn't bother me much.

It bothers me because people used to tease me about it when I did it in public. I've learned to control it in public for the most part but at home, I still do it, almost constantly. I stopped doing it when I was on using benzodiazepines as best as I can recall.

There's so many different and unrelated things that get called stimming it's hard to answer.

But as far as unusual/repetitive movements... that one's weird for me. It's always been the sort of thing that I would absolutely have to do at some point. There have been times in my life when I've been able to control it for certain lengths of time, and times I haven't been able to control it at all. (And of course during any time of my life how much either of those things are true varies a good deal.)

Right now I'm in a weird position where it's not really voluntary, and yet the movement isn't happening. I've explained this a few places. Basically most people don't notice this, but when a movement is trying to happen, there are several stages it goes through. And one of those stages feels almost like the movement itself, except that, if it's stuck at that spot in the chain of movements, then your body won't be moving. And these days due to my motor impairments that's where it's getting stuck.

So I have all these movements going through my head as if they are happening in my body, except most of them never get that far. So it's just like having nonvoluntary (not initiated on purpose, but suppressible to some extent or another) movements, except that my body doesn't give any feedback as if they happen. (And yet, it really feels as if they ought to. It's very strong, much different from simply imagining movement or something like that, far more immediate and visceral and very much like actual moving without being it. And then there's the odd few that do get through.

I remember when I was in high school there was this kid who always rocked back in fourth and people would yell there he goes working those abs or ret*d is in the leed as other people would sit around him imitating his rocking like they were racing. The teachers thought it was hysterical.

yup

if i realise im doing something, i stop, then moments later ive started something else.

tapping, leg bouncing, wringing my hands, fiddling with something, chewing my lip...

and yeah, weird kind of tension if i attempt to keep everything still