Is this woman an aspie or suffering from NPD? Or bipolar?

Post Reply New Topic

There was this woman that used to run a deli that my parents were friends with years ago. I won't go into details how we came to be friends with her, because my parents, notably because of my father, tend to be magnets for strange individuals. The thing is, though, with this particular woman, I think the friendship could have been dangerous. I also can't understand why my father thinks the world of her, though he doesn't condone what she has done or anything, but likes to argue with someone like this. I, at times, think she may have been a severe aspie, but I as I think about it, I don't really think so. She has serious problems, but I believe there is something more going on. This woman used to chalk it up to her "streetwise New York attitude." I'll list six things she has done, and tell me what you think.

(1) SEVERELY STUBBORN --> If people think I'm stubborn, they haven't yet met this woman. At one point, she attempted to jump over the counter at the deli she owned at my father over a minor disagreement saying, "I'm gonna kill you!"

(2) QUITE DANGEROUS --> Her stubbornness was so extreme, that she threw a soda can at one of the customers' heads over a minor disagreement, saying afterwards: "No! I meant to kill him!" And, she tried to run a former friend off the road twice after she was told that she's too hostile for her.

(3) CAN'T HOLD A JOB --> Apparently, she can't hold a job, because she never lies and tells it like it is to people's faces. She used to be a shoe salesman, out of all things, and told the boss off. She then comes back and works at the deli, where she continued to threaten and argue with anyone who walked in the door.

(4) COULDN'T HOLD RELATIONSHIPS --> She had a husband who was more like a mouse. He did everything he was told, and this woman was so weird that she even beat him up with her bare hands! And he sat there and put up with it. She was domineering with her kids, telling her daughter who was also bulimic what clothes she was to wear at a her wedding. Her daughter eventually tried to get away from her, and from what I have heard she did. However, this woman used to want friends, for the most part, but didn't know how to keep them. Most of her friends got fed up with her almost constant hostility, and then she'd do anything thought of to try to get them back. She's cry and moan, go down to their houses, and all to win people back. When things got worse, she used to threaten violence.

(5) EXTREMELY JEALOUS --> Overly competitive with everyone else. One time, my mother was planning on taking a vacation to Hawaii. Lo and behold, this woman went right before my mother planned. After this woman came back, she told my mother this: "Ah! Hawaii? It sucks! You don't want to go there." This really irritated my mother. On another occasion, after the deli she owned went into bankruptcy, because she couldn't plan anything properly, another person, a friend of hers at the time, took over the business. After doing better than she did, this woman let loose an uncontrollable rage. She apparently contacted a lawyer who told her that much of what was in the store she still owned, due to some kind of payment discrepancies. So, she convinces a few of her friends that, for some reason, liked her, including a couple of family members, to get the equipment back. They walk into the store with baseball bats and start wrecking up the place, breaking anything they could that the lawyer said she owned. A judge was called in on this one, and apparently stated that this woman was in the right due to these payment discrepancies, and let her walk away scott free without seeking help, even though the actions were extremely vicious! After this incident, almost everyone wanted nothing to do with her. Her and her husband apparently went in secrecy afterwards.

(6) NO EMPATHY --> One time, this woman's husband almost cut his hand off with a circular saw accident. This woman seemed to care more about her kitchen floor and sink, and tells her husband that "you're getting blood all over my things!" I didn't see this, but only heard about it from someone else.

- Ray M -

I'd say she seems more narcissistic than anything to me.

Wow. What a scary person. To me she sounds too violent and aggressive to be an Aspie. Maybe narcissistic with psychopath thrown in? Or maybe on meth? I have known some people like her but not quite as bad. I once worked with a woman who would cuss and throw things at everyone. She suddenly one day decided she didn't like me, and harrassed me constantly, almost injuring me once. The bosses all ignored her behavior saying she had a screw loose. It amazes me what people like that get away with but sometimes they do.

Yeah ... I kind of agree. I've always thought she had a narcissistic personality. She fits almost every criteria of the disorder. And she fits the profile of apparent abuse upon growing up, where her father made her kneel on bricks as punishment and so forth. I don't believe she was ever said to have had any sorts of problems neurologically.

I don't think she's a psychopath, though. I don't think she truly knows the degree of her actions. She seems to out of control, but not in a psychopathic sort of way. She was always wild and high strung. She seemed far too social to be an aspie. She loved the sight of attention, typical of narcissists. She always wanted relationships but only to be used for her own ends. Pretty dangerous. I also think psychopaths are far more controlled in their behavior and tend to only lose their cool when faced with the consequences. They just like to hurt people for selfish reasons. I didn't get the impression that she wanted to do what she was doing, but rather that she didn't even know she was hurting people.

It just bothers me that my father likes to talk about her a lot, like he had some fascination with people like that.

- Ray M -

In the past people like this held some fascination for me...

The violence and aggression I don't like at all...but the fact that they seem to be so sure of themselves all of the time was interesting...I am so frequently unsure of myself ALL of the time. LOL