A normal disorder

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Like a lot of people here, I'm trying to wrap my brain around PDD's. But doing so, I'm getting glimses into the most complex computer on the planet, the human brain. Actually, I'm seeing the code for the computer.

I see a lot of behaviours posted, and I wonder to myself, "Are these AS specific, or just a flavor of normal human behaviour?"

I do recognize that I don't know anyone that would fit the NT stereotype to the tee, which would mean that everyone I know is ND, in one or more ways.

If you think about it, a true NT would be a curious thing to study; but absurdly dull and annoying to be around. I would liken it to a skeleton person - the basics are there, but there's no character. And probably something that can be simulated on a computer (kind of obvious, as they are a program running on a computer).

I've seen a few posts about difficulties describing AS to those with the more common wiring. When I play such a scenerio out in my head, I conclude that it's like saying "I'm weird because I'm human." Which implies that the other person is weird. Therefore humans are by nature weird.

The 'symtoms' for me are mood dependant, when I was younger, they were more prevalent. For the most part, I 'fit in' pretty well, until I attempt to do something that I haven't developed the appropriate social interaction script for; then I go on spin cycle, like when you start a big program on a slow PC.

I've been told that I was pretty withdrawn as an infant. I remember in my first year of preschool that I would do my own thing, and even recall having a classmate come up to me. I think my response was a 'what the heck do you want' look.

I hear sounds that others usually miss. My song preferences are more oriented to the music, well more like the sound, than the lyrics. A lot of songs I don't pay attention to the lyrics until years later. And if the words aren't clearly enunciated, I won't be about to make words out of the voices. But colloquial phrases are easier for me to pick up - as they are context specific. I also mis-hear people - which goes well with my attachment to literal meanings, and my slight gullibleness. At least now I have an excuse for doing something stupid.

I can read people to an extent. I miss deciet most of the time. But I would probably do better at poker today, than 6 years ago.
I'm also good at reading other drivers; I suspect at times I know what a driver is going to do before they do. Though I am usually more away of whats going on in my surroundings anyways. Sometimes I catch a wiff of conspiracy; this usually weirds me out, cuz I'm trying to decern as to what's really going on. I don't really know if it founded or not.

When I was younger, I thought reading ppl was a myth; possible because 'NT's aren't aware that they do it. And because those that spoke of body language 'believed' in other controversal things. I remember once when me and my coworker were taken back when I knew he was pissed at me by the way he was walking towards me. A former employer of mine was stunned when I mentioned about how he like yells at me. I knew he hadn't yelled, but it felt like it.

I'm interested about getting a dx. But my guess would be PDD-NOS, which makes the dx kind of pointless, but I would learn even more about myself. And that's what it's really about - learning. Because if your not learning, then your just another cog in the machine.

eet_1024

An interesting take on what's normal. I agree being normal and ordinary - I equate with boring and yet there are many aspies and others who would like to achieve that state of dull mediocracy. If only to alleviate pressure from their parents.

I like the computer analogy, though I don't think our brains work like computers.

Have you read any Oliver Sacks books? The brain is weirder than any of us can imagine.

No, I haven't read any of his books, but they do look interesting.

The brain doesn't operate like a PC; there's no clock or finite state machines. Well, there are biological clocks, and moods are pretty defined; I suppose this would be a chemical coprocessor, with hormones and all. But the speed thought activity is limited by the propragation delays between cells.

And there are programs, which your brain creates when it learns a new activity. Do you have to think about how to chew, or do you already know what to do, with out thinking about it?

When learning new scripts, one of the things that gets me is how on the surface, the social exchange seems absurd. I doesn't make sense until I have been doing for a while, and then can recognize that there really isn't a better way of doing it.

Occasionally, when working up a script, I'm unsure if an action could really be correct. I have notice that simply asking someone answers that question. I'll have to remember to just ask myself out loud next time and see if that works. I think verbalizing it allows me to see how I would come off if I did it.

Parents can be pretty screwed up. Life doesn't come with a manual. But is it too much to ask for a parent to do a simple gut check on their parenting? But this is more of an ethics thing, like dragging your kid to church.