"normal" people are actually the weirdos, right?

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I just dont get people and I never will. I am in my 30s now but when I was younger I did a lot of modeling work. Ive always been told Im very handsome, and thought this would help me develop friendships/love interests as I got older.

Boy was I wrong.

Despite my nice looks, I havent the faintest idea how to form a friendship, or love interest. The weird thing is, I am actually not that bad or uncomfortable around alot of people! I can make small talk, etc. but when it comes to a real friendship, i.e. "lets hang out friday night and pick up babes!"...nope.

Many times I get to know a so called "normal" person, at work lets say, and start to think "wow we get along so well! we might be friends!" I laugh with him/her and they seem to enjoy my company.

Then one day I'll ask this person to hang out. Thats when things "get weird". RIGHT AWAY this person gets fidgety, uneasy, and starts making excuses why they cant hang out with me. THEN after they blow me off, they start "acting weird" around me (as if I just showed them my axe collection or something) THESE ARE THE SAME FOLKS WHO ADVISE YOU TO "GET OUT THERE MORE" WHEN YOU ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE! I guess they mean OTHER people, besides themselves (because they are "too hip" to hang with me). WHY WHY WHY is this?

Why do so called "normal" people actt his way? My theory is that "normal" people may like me deep down, but are so preoccupied with "being cool" they just CANT hang out with a "funny-yet-too-quirky-and-not-quite-hip-enough" guy like me. GOD FORBID, because then their "cool meter" might take a hit.

Its just so pathetic how grown men and women act this way. GROWN MEN AND WOMEN. They are so OBSESSED with social status. Its like High School never ended.

Also a thing I notice about "normal" people is how they act different to me when around their "cool friends" or girlfriends. Suddenly, their level of respect for me goes down and they treat me as if they are better all of a sudden. Chest sticking out, and talking down to me as if I am stupid and they are (not so) secretly laughing at me and my "weirdness".

Yet when its just me and the "normal" person by ourselves, the person accepts my differences and even EMBRACES them, dare I say, ENJOYS my different personality. But when they are around "cool friends" all of a sudden they treat me like I'm a "weirdo".

And women? Forget it. As bad as the men are with social status, women today are off the charts. Im in a major city, and its a nightmare here. Not on facebook? You may as well be dead. Women often show HEAVY interest in me at first (Im decent looking) but then once they find out Im not on twitter and dont have a GAZILLION social "connections" its goodbye time.

I dont even get the sense they dont like me. Much like their male counterparts, I actually feel good talking to them and I know they enjoy my company...but again, I get the impression they are thinking "oooh...I like him, but he might hurt my coolness factor. I cant risk looking un-hip in front of my oh-so-cool friends. GOD FORBID that happens!".

I guess when I was younger, I used to think "people will mature when they get older. All types of people will be embraced, and things will get better for me". Wrong. Its disheartening. It feels like High School never ended.

Its sad. I actually tried changing once after reading one of those "how to be an alpha male" websites. But I just cannot do it. Or I wont do it. I dont enjoy acting like that, like a dooshbag. Apparently, thats what "normal" women want from a guy nowadays. Apparently from what I read, women dont yet realize we arent cavemen anymore and think people with A.S. wont be able to hunt for them, or some such B.S., and they get turned on by dopey guys who are loud and obnoxious, and love to party and abuse their bodies with alchohol.

What a sad, pathetic world this is when a handsome, nice, and funny guy like me gets passed up as a potential friend, or dating partner just because I have A.S. and prefer a little solitude over hard parties every night.

I'm not gonna lie, its beating me down and Im really depressed lately. I wish things in this world were different. My only comfort is The Bible, if you can believe it. I dont wanna push my faith on anyone here but it says "The meek shall inherit the Earth" and I guess thats the one thing that keeps a lonely guy with A.S. like me going.

Any comments appreciated. Thanks.

Yeah, people are superficial. It sucks (and this isn't meant in a sarcastic way.) There are people around who aren't obsessed with social status. Try a local AS group, if there is one, or participate in some nerdier activities (book clubs, etc.) I've generally found these people to be less judgmental (although this obviously doesn't hold true for all cases.) You've mentioned you're Christian? Have you tried participating in church groups?

Always annoys me as well. A friend gave me a "we need to get me a life" speech a couple of months back, but another friend told her that I don't want a life (and she's right, I have never craved the type of socializing she's talking about,) but it did come off as quite harsh.


Good that you didn't get caught up in "The Game" nonsense (for want of a much harsher word.)


Yeah, as I said, some people are superficial. Many people however, aren't, (and I know, as they are my friends.) They are just a little hard to find, due to their very nature .

Good luck!

I don't like it when people are like that. I've had people act all friendly with me when we're alone, and then completely ignore me when they see me if their friends are around.

Some people are so superficial, what you describe is total BS, and if they are so worried about their "coolness" factor that tells you something about how scared they actually are inside of being rejected themselves. I am lucky, I've had only a few NT friends but they were the kind of people who stand up for their friends, they stood up for me when the other NTs were making fun of me (sometimes without me even realising because I can be so naive at times).

I tend to agree with the person who mentioned AS groups, you can meet nice people there and have a great time, definitely better then those guys you describe, they are just too busy checking their coolness level to be good friends.

"Weird" is relative. Take ten NTs and toss in an aspie, the aspie is the weird one. Take ten aspis and toss in an NT, the NT is weird.

Yeah, that's part of why I stopped trying to fit in. If I'm myself, then there's fewer people who'd like me, but the ones who do would actually like me the way I am.

What he said. Majority rules. What you describe is normal to that culture. Sanity is not normal.

Hi,

I'm agree with all of you, guys!
There are too few NT persons who are open-minded enough and patient in this world.
We generally feel uncomfortable among them. The most of them are liars, they are treating us as fools, they think that we are so idiot or naive or dumb or I don't know what, such that they believe they can manipulate us as they were playing with a puppet, pulling strings etc...

- Are we right and are they wrong?
- Are we wrong and are they right?

As Mindslave said: Majority rules...

...Even if we know, roughly, the "good" answer...
According to Tony Attwood: "... they (aspies) are a bright thread in the rich tapestry of life. Our civilization would be extremely dull and sterile if we did not have and treasure people with Asperger's Syndrome" (1998)

Take care