Frustrated NT Sibling needs your help

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We have a therapy dog and my autistic brother hits her alot, gets in her face,takes toys away from her, and doesn't seem to understand that he can't treat the dog that way.

I've told him countless times not to hit the dog,to be gentle,not to take away her toys,to give her some space and he keeps doing it. What should I do and why doesn't he understand?

I just get do frustrated with him because when I tell him not to do this or that he keeps doing it like he thinks it's funny to terrorize the dog.

HELP

Do you think your brother is angry at the dog or does it look more like he is frustrated over something else and just takes it out on the dog? Could it be that he is afraid that the dog might get more attention than him and that this is some kind of jealousy problem? Or could he simply be scared of the dog and try to make it go away? Many assistance dogs are from medium-sized to large breeds after all and might be scary for somebody who does not understand their body language.

I think to make your brother stop treating the dog like that you should try to find out why he does it in the first place. Have you tried simply asking him why he hits the dog?

My first thought is that he knows it gets a reaction from people like you, and he doesn't know how to get reactions or talk to people or get attention.

I closely observed him today and noticed that he is hitting the dog because the major change in his schedule has upset him. Our mother switched from day shift to night you see, so my brother became upset and started hitting the dog.

I have also noticed that he doesn't understand how to treat a dog, so I show him by example and he hasn't hit her as much.

It could be what other posters said, but it could also be that he doesn't really like dogs , personally I like dogs and cats but my stepson is not into animals at all, I caught him kick both my dogs (not at the same time, it was on different occasions)

You need to keep an eye on him when the dog is around, I'm glad you said he doesn't hit her as much, but hopefully it will get to a point where he doesn't hit the dog at all

Get him a punching bag.

Maybe one of your parents would be better at talking to him about this. Is he older, or younger. If he's older than you are, he might not want to listen to you and he might be willing to listen to mum or dad. Nobody likes to be ordered around by a younger sibling, NT or ASD. I hope that things go well, though.

I've never harmed animals, but whenever I have hit objects it usually seemed like a combination of letting out extreme frustration and trying to communicate that extreme frustration to people around me. Even with my great verbal abilities, a lot of the time I can't express what I want to express, and I will feel stuck in a situation. I don't think it through when i do it, I just kind of explode because I can't take whatever it is. A lot of people probably don't understand why I sometimes react in certain ways, and they might not think that whatever it was I reacted to was a big deal i explain what it was.. But there's always a reason why I acted that way, something that triggered it. I don't think any autistic people just act up for no reason, i think it's almost always a reaction to something(either that or they don't understand that they are doing something wrong in the first place) That something just isn't always apparent to others(especially if the autistic person has limited or no verbal communication).

my step-son has a hitting problem too. he hits the cat and his brothers, other kids, himself. it's really irritating having to show him over and over not to do it, so i know how you feel. my step son go the point of not bugging the cat when it let out a screech and clawed up his arm...well, not the first time but the second time he caught on. now he stays away from it. is he old enough to understand the dog might bite him? we had to put our step-son on an anti-psychotic which has really mellowed out his violent tendancies. your parents really should step in, or a worker if he has one because cruelty to animals will progress into something more serious if it's not addressed.

how old is this kid?

So much for therapy dog. Not doing him much good is it? Maybe try a cat instead, and if that doesn't work...kid's just not cut out for interacting with animals.

Did your parents ask him if he wanted a therapy dog, or did they just get it for him. If they just got the dog for him, maybe he might not be happy that he didn't have any say in the decision that might have been made, without him. If that's the case, he might be taking his anger out on the dog, because of that. Just because your brother is on the spectrum, doesn't mean that he can't have a say over things like that. If he's non-verbal, they could have been able to get him to write yes, or no on a piece of paper.

Yes, I can understand how changes like that might frustrate your brother enough to mistreat the dog over it. Many people on WP seem to find it helpful if they are notified of this kind of changes in advance though. Maybe telling your brother in advance that a major change in his routine is unavoidable will help him handle it better.

You could also tell him that the dog has nothing to do with which shift your mother is working. If both things occured at roughly the same time (the dog appearing in your household and your mother changing her schedule), your brother might mistakenly think that there is a connection between these two events and he might try to punish the dog for disrupting his routine. People on the spectrum are not usually stupid though and I think he will understand that the changes in his routine are not the dog's fault.

Demonstrating how to treat a dog is a very good step, I think. Part of this problem may indeed be caused by your brother being clueless about dogs. Also try to point out to him that dogs feel pain much the same way as humans do and that he is making the dog feel bad with his behaviour. Maybe he just doesn't realize this, weird as it may sound.

It just saddens me to read about a therapy dog being abused and that's what brogut on my two responses. Sorry.

ColdBlooded:

Thank you so much for that explanation! That is exactly what I needed.


Others:

My brother is eight years old

Yeah, I should sit him down and tell him in advance, explaining to him that it isn't the dogs fault that Mom has to work and that it hurts her when he hits the dog.

Our mother does step in every time he does it and scolds him, explaining how it makes the dog feel and I can see that he feels remorse; Mom prompts him to apologize and he follows
Through. I just hope that it is teaching him not to repeat the action.

We bought the therapy dog for him a few months ago.

Oops! Forgot to say who was younger and who is older.

I'm the eldest at 18
My brother is younger by ten years at 8

When I was young I used to hurt my animals. I never understood it would actually hurt them and felt bad after I did it. I'm so gentle with animals today you would have never guessed it.
I don't know what it is. I heard that kids who hit other kids have a lack of impulse control and really don't think about the consequences of their actions. It might just be under stimulation too.

There needs to be more understanding and not thinking someone is acting like a spoilt brat. Not saying that you are but some people may be.
I do hope you get the problem sorted.