pensieve wrote:
I think in a previous life I was a Heyoka.
I pretty much act like that to see peoples reactions. I used to think of it as slightly ODD.
Ever since I learned about Heyokas, I thought the same that I was one in a past life. This might also explain my facination with native american culture. Although I have not had any visions or dreams to prove this, I have had a dream of lightning which terrified me as a kid and I started acting really weird afterwards. This is supposed to be a sign from the thunderbird clan, that I am called to be a heyoka according to native american beliefs.
I never knew about this Heyoka thing until I was in my 20's and I was praying in the native american tradition, and I looked up and saw a cloud the perfect shape of the thunderbird. So I had to search it out online and found out that if you dream of lightning and/or the thunderbird in a dream that is very frightening...it means the thunderbird clan has called you to be a hayoka.
Which means you have to spend 3 days and 3 nights in the wilderness alone without food and water to recieve a vision of what you are to do. Well due to my medical issues, I necer did that, but one day, I may build up my strength to do the vision quest. I hear the natives conditioned themselves for 3 years of practicing going longer and longer periods without food and water in order to do the vision quest.
Of course the second time you see the dream of lightening and/or the thunderbird, or have a vision of such...a hayoka is healed but still unpredictable if he/she chooses to be. To make this story any weirder, after my sighting of the thunderbird cloud thing, my mental status started becoming more stable and I was more functional.
According to native american beliefs, after a the inital dream/vision, the person called to be a heyoka has no control over their odd behavior but his behavior is still seen as sacred, once the heyoka is revisited by the thunderbird clan, the hayoka is healed but has a choice to use the backwardness and irony to help people.
I can never explain the validity of my experiences, but know how it has affected me is real...as odd as it seems in a world that shuns such things as superstitions.
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All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin