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Jamesy
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13 Dec 2010, 10:29 pm

I am suspected to have AS. I was crying after arguing with my parents. My farther said to me "Maybe suicide is a way out if your finding life difficult". I actually enjoy life and would never kill myself but i have not got many friends at the moment and that makes things harder.

do you think i should just ignore the suggestion of suicide becasue life too precious to me and death is not a soluation to anything.



Chronos
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13 Dec 2010, 10:48 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I am suspected to have AS. I was crying after arguing with my parents. My farther said to me "Maybe suicide is a way out if your finding life difficult". I actually enjoy life and would never kill myself but i have not got many friends at the moment and that makes things harder.

do you think i should just ignore the suggestion of suicide becasue life too precious to me and death is not a soluation to anything.


I think your father is a d!ck. You are correct, death is not a solution, and if it had any benefits, you wouldn't be around to reap them.



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13 Dec 2010, 10:48 pm

I guess you'll have to ignore it. What else are you going to do? I suppose you might ask him why he said that. He might get real mad if you recommend that he should take his own advice.


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Last edited by sgrannel on 14 Dec 2010, 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

zeldapsychology
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13 Dec 2010, 10:49 pm

WOW! Your Father suggested SUICIDE! DAMN IT!! ! LEAVE! I'm shocked I'm saying this but THAT goes beyond even MY family hardships!! !! ! Do as I do (and as you seem to be doing) Hope for the future perhaps create/imagine a plan and see how things can develop. While I don't have any friends/boyfriend myself I DO imagine that kind of future HELL I'll take living with my boyfriends/friends parents VS. MY OWN!! !



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13 Dec 2010, 10:50 pm

Yes. Of course you should ignore the suggestion. Your father should know better than to say something that cruel and irresponsible.

You have a right to pursue the best life you can, ideally on your own terms. Be considerate of others, but don't forget to be considerate of yourself as well.


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13 Dec 2010, 10:51 pm

wow, talk about heartless!! i'd be off trying to find somewhere else to stay.



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13 Dec 2010, 10:51 pm

You shouldn't kill yourself, but I think you should lose all respect for him. I'm sorry you were treated that way.



Jamesy
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13 Dec 2010, 10:59 pm

To be fair my dad did not say it in a nasty way. I have been putting my dad through years and YEARS of hardship with my tantrums and behaviour etc........... I think i really pushed him over the edge for him to say that to me.

I have not grown up yet even though i am 21



auntblabby
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13 Dec 2010, 10:59 pm

your father's assault on your psyche reminds me of the old saw, "suicides are deflected homicides." IOW if my father had said that to me, i'd probably still be in prison by now.



Wallourdes
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13 Dec 2010, 11:05 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I am suspected to have AS. I was crying after arguing with my parents. My farther said to me "Maybe suicide is a way out if your finding life difficult". I actually enjoy life and would never kill myself but i have not got many friends at the moment and that makes things harder.

do you think i should just ignore the suggestion of suicide becasue life too precious to me and death is not a soluation to anything.


Maybe you took it all too literally.
I don't know on what tone he said that, but if it was sacrasm he might have wanted to pull the situation to an extreme to make a point.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes


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Last edited by Wallourdes on 14 Dec 2010, 12:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

fb5b
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13 Dec 2010, 11:23 pm

To me it sounds more like your father was trying to empathize with you by saying
"Maybe suicide is a way out if your finding life difficult"

I don't think that's advising you to attempt or even consider suicide as an option, rather trying to explain why you're feeling that way. Many of us have been through times where we've had more than a fleeting thought of suicide, myself included.



wavefreak58
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13 Dec 2010, 11:37 pm

fb5b wrote:
To me it sounds more like your father was trying to empathize with you by saying
"Maybe suicide is a way out if your finding life difficult"
.


Huh? Wtf?

Suggesting suicide is NEVER appropriate, even as a from of reverse psychology. Think about it. If someone is already depressed and having issues with self image, hinting that suicide is a good way out just feeds the downward spiral. A depressive mind is already not thinking clearly. Suicidal ideation may already be present but not verbalized. Suggesting self harm may just confirm an idea that is already taking root.

This was not an attempt at empathy. It was psychological abuse, just as violent to the psyche as any beating.


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13 Dec 2010, 11:49 pm

My father was a sociopath, and he never even suggested suicide to me! I dont care what his intentions are, it is never acceptable to suggest suicide as a solution to life's hardships. I say dont just ignore what he said...Ignore him. If he thinks you are better off dead, you need to lock your door at night until you are in a better place to move out. And dont make excuses for him, that is just not acceptable. Sounds really creepy.


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14 Dec 2010, 12:07 am

1) I want to advise you to say something to him like, "Actually, I think it make my life a lot easier if you killed yourself, so let's try that." Unfortunately, I think someone who would say something like that might be past the point of joking with, so probably a bad idea.
2) You should not consider killing yourself.
3) I think the people making excuses for your father here are out of line. That wasn't okay. Even if his intention was good, it was not okay.


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Megz
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14 Dec 2010, 12:13 am

wavefreak58 wrote:
Suggesting suicide is NEVER appropriate, even as a from of reverse psychology. Think about it. If someone is already depressed and having issues with self image, hinting that suicide is a good way out just feeds the downward spiral. A depressive mind is already not thinking clearly. Suicidal ideation may already be present but not verbalized. Suggesting self harm may just confirm an idea that is already taking root.

This was not an attempt at empathy. It was psychological abuse, just as violent to the psyche as any beating.


Yep that's pretty much what I wanted to say right there. I can't imagine anyone who was thinking clearly/not depressed/having other issues suggesting suicide to anyone, much less their own child. And your own behavior is no excuse for him to suggest that you kill yourself. If you are living at home, I would suggest you start looking for a new place to live. That does not sound like a healthy environment.



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14 Dec 2010, 3:51 am

If my father had said that to me,
he would not even BE my father
afterwards, just a man.


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