anbuend wrote:
My brother is also autistic. We're about as opposite as you can get and still be on the same spectrum though. I mean we have a few things in common, but mostly we're opposite.
That's why it didn't surprise me when I read a study showing that... okay they took autistic and nonautistic kids. They rated each kid on a scale of 1 to 3 on each trait. (1 being doesn't have it or barely has it, 3 being has it extremely or most of the time, 2 being in the middle). And what they found was something that surprised them. They were assuming that on a given trait, autistic people would, say, mostly cluster towards 1, while nonautistic people would cluster towards 3, or vice versa depending on the trait. But what they actually found, was that nonautistic people would tend towards 2, and autistic people would tend towards both 1 and 3 but not 2. So we tend to go both extremes in any given area without much room in the middle. It's an oversimplification but it still explains a lot of things.
In my family's case my brother is the one who gets by without extra services (although many things in his life aren't great at all, he's uninsured and has had a lot of problems with employment), whereas I need lots and lots of services every day in order to survive.
Our other brother is not autistic, but may have a few traits (like often using a monotone voice -- it's hard to find anyone in our family who's totally "normal"). My dad is autistic, my uncle on my mom's side is autistic, and so are lots of more distant relatives. (And there are some who may be but we don't really know, especially women. I'm the only woman in the family where it's incredibly obvious that I'm autistic, and oddly enough in my case it's more obvious than with any of the men.)
And to clear up any confusion I use 'autistic' for all categories of autistic rather than using all the separate clinical terms. Technically my brother specifically identifies as AS despite my preference for not using that term specifically. And I'm diagnosed as autistic. But that doesn't explain the huge differences between us. I've found that there are people in all of the official categories who are quite similar to me, and people in all the categories who are quite different from me. Same with my brother. Oh well, soon enough it'll all be one category and then we can just look at the differences and similarities between us without that specific terminology getting in the way.
Well in my first post I explain my youngest is a very Rain Man like autistic. However, not so exaggerated and hollywood made. But you get the point.
He tends towards some odd behaviors, like if a wall has bumps, he'll spend hours looking at the wall. My mom and dad never know how to deal with him. He has meltdowns in public and he has several sensory problems.
I try to work with him on his level, where as mom and dad tried to work against him and on their level to established dominance as parents. I guess the reason he wants me is because he seems to think I "understand".
Truth is, I understand and at the same I have no clue...the wall thing....that's just one thing that's a little...well ya know. I couldn't stare at a wall for hours with such interest as he has.
I don't know how to explain to him he needs to let mom and dad work with him. But I also don't know how to get mom and dad to work with him.
It feels like trying to tell a wave not to part.
14 Dec 2010, 8:25 pm
