Lack of a thought process in social interactions

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

AutisticMalcontent
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 517

17 Dec 2010, 12:43 pm

I've been thinking in my spare time lately about how I believe I lack a definitive thought process in social interactions, and I wonder if this is a trademark characteristic of slight autism/aspergers.

For example, I've read many books on how to overcome anxiety, and they all follow the same premise: negative thoughts influence negative feelings and behaviors with positive thoughts influence positive feelings and behavior. Generally the way people think is like this:

Event --> Thought --> Feeling --> Behavior

There is an event that occurs, upon with the individual has a thought about, which then causes a feeling and then influences their behavior.

For instance:

John is in high school and is take Algebra 2. He is on the verge of failing the class. His teacher announces "Next week, we are having a test over chapters 5 & 6, and it will be worth 40% of your final grade (event).

John immediately thinks "Oh crap, this next test is worth 40% of my final grade. I'm on the verge of failing this class, I'm done for if I don't pass this test, and I'm sure I'm going to fail!" (thought).

Because John had a negative thought, his thought causes him to feel negative, and ultimately, his behavior is influenced by his negative thoughts. He becomes anxious when he thinks about it.

As for myself, this is the way I react:

Event --> Feeling --> Behavior --> Thought

Example:

Let's say, for example, someone I don't know too well, like an acquaintance, asks if they could
borrow $2 off me (event). I immediately feel anxious because I can't "think" aka have a train of thought going through my head, like "I don't know this guy well, so why should I give him $5?". So in order to get away from not knowing what to do, I say, "Sure, here you go".

Later on, I analyze the situation, and I get angry at myself for not thinking when I needed to the most in the social situation (thought).

What I'd like to know is "Is this a common trait between slightly autistic individuals, the inability to have a train of thought/think in social situations?" I know that personally, I can think about it after everything is over, but during the event I can't think at all, everything is a feeling.

If a person can think in a social situations, autistic or not, they can overcome anxiety by cognitive restructuring. But what about an individual who can't think until the event is over?



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

17 Dec 2010, 1:20 pm

AutisticMalcontent wrote:
If a person can think in a social situations, autistic or not, they can overcome anxiety by cognitive restructuring. But what about an individual who can't think until the event is over?

I call that "Not being able to think 'on my feet'" or "on the spot", and that can be a big problem. Just yesterday I "felt pleased" during an event (a certain conversation) and acted accordingly at that time, then later realized nothing truly pleasing had actually taken place at all.

All of this breaks down to matters of security and expectation or projection ... and there is no single formula for sorting all this out and making things easy. For the most part, however, I have developed my own manner or "style" of doing nothing at all whenever I am in doubt, and that can include doing something like a "freeze frame" and even seeking some specific advice or help whenever I catch myself even thinking about acting on fear.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,587
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

17 Dec 2010, 1:27 pm

Last night someone asked me a simple question with an easy answer, and I was barely able to answer the question at all, and only able to answer it in full several minutes later. I knew the answer, but I couldn't put it into words on the spot.



mayursaini
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1

04 Oct 2014, 2:42 pm

TRY ACUPUNTURE
I TRIED IT, AND IT HAS IMPROVED MY HEALTH A BIT ! !!

PLZ TALK TO ME GUYS, I AM EXPERIENCING THESE SAME PROBLEMS FROM ABOUT 6 YEARS.
IN 2007 I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION, AND WHATEVER THE MEDICINES THE DOCTORS GAVE TO ME, IT HAS MADE MY LIFE HELL... HELL IS SUCH A SMALL AND SIMPLE WORD, FOR THE FEELING, WHICH I EXPERIENCE EVERY SECOND IN MY LIFE DAILY... I AM TRYING ACUPUNCTURE THERAPY FROM 2 MONTHS, AND IT HAS HELPED ME ABOUT 25% AND HAS HELPED ME TO GET OFF FROM ALL THE MEDICATIONS, BULLSHIT MEDICATION.. THESE Motherf***er PSYCHIATRIST.. I WISH THEY LIVE TO THE END OF THIS WORLD AND NEVER DIE.. ALONE ALL ALONE...



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,661
Location: Out of my mind

04 Oct 2014, 3:00 pm

Yes, I can't 'think on my feet' very well. When people put me on the spot I've learned to say, "I'll think about it" or "I'll get back to you on that." Sometimes I just smile enigmatically and say nothing.
It took me a long time to learn this though. I've done some really, really stupid things in the past because of my inability to think under social pressure.
Like Verdandi mentioned, I also get the full 'freeze up' where I couldn't speak if my life depended on it.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,661
Location: Out of my mind

04 Oct 2014, 3:19 pm

mayursaini wrote:
TRY ACUPUNTURE
I TRIED IT, AND IT HAS IMPROVED MY HEALTH A BIT ! !!

PLZ TALK TO ME GUYS, I AM EXPERIENCING THESE SAME PROBLEMS FROM ABOUT 6 YEARS.
IN 2007 I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION, AND WHATEVER THE MEDICINES THE DOCTORS GAVE TO ME, IT HAS MADE MY LIFE HELL... HELL IS SUCH A SMALL AND SIMPLE WORD, FOR THE FEELING, WHICH I EXPERIENCE EVERY SECOND IN MY LIFE DAILY... I AM TRYING ACUPUNCTURE THERAPY FROM 2 MONTHS, AND IT HAS HELPED ME ABOUT 25% AND HAS HELPED ME TO GET OFF FROM ALL THE MEDICATIONS, BULLSHIT MEDICATION.. THESE Motherf***er PSYCHIATRIST.. I WISH THEY LIVE TO THE END OF THIS WORLD AND NEVER DIE.. ALONE ALL ALONE...

It's great that you've finally gotten some relief. I'm a fan of acupuncture myself. There's a health fitness and sports section here where you can post about these subjects.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking