Morally Outraged at Everything
Does anyone else ever get morally outraged at things other people don't care about?
Like today, it was snowing really heavily and I didn't want to risk going into work. I didn't want to get stuck in the snow and maybe have to walk home late at night, as it may not be safe. So I phoned in and was told I should come in because people have come to work from miles away, etc. Well that's all well and good for them, but just because they were willing to risk skidding and crashing their car, or getting stranded, doesn't mean the rest of us should. Also, I didn't want to risk getting attacked while walking home at night. But she told me to try all options to get into work. So in the end I managed to make it in, to avoid confrontation, and got home safely. But I was angry all day because it felt as though the manager cared more about the company making money than my well-being.
Then there was another incident where my manager tried to sell eggs that had been contaminated with mouse droppings.
Amongst other things I get angry at all the injustice, etc that goes on in the world, and how selfish and generally stupid a lot of people are.
When I told people about these things they kinda shrug it off and more or less said "that's how things are". So it makes me think it must be wrong to worry or be angry about things like this, but I can't seem to help it.
Although, maybe being morally outraged at some things can be a good thing. Afterall, if everyone just shrugged and accepted how things are we would still have slavery, etc. But perhaps the things I get annoyed with are silly, but I don't know how to stop being annoyed...
Like today, it was snowing really heavily and I didn't want to risk going into work. I didn't want to get stuck in the snow and maybe have to walk home late at night, as it may not be safe. So I phoned in and was told I should come in because people have come to work from miles away, etc. Well that's all well and good for them, but just because they were willing to risk skidding and crashing their car, or getting stranded, doesn't mean the rest of us should. Also, I didn't want to risk getting attacked while walking home at night. But she told me to try all options to get into work. So in the end I managed to make it in, to avoid confrontation, and got home safely. But I was angry all day because it felt as though the manager cared more about the company making money than my well-being.
In the context of work, she does. However in an ideal world, people would be more cautious and not come to work in dangerous conditions or when they are ill.
This is illegal and should have been reported to the health department.
Most people are not as altruistic as those with AS. It's said that humans are more altruistic than chimps though. If one is too altruistic, the individuals suffers too much, if one is not altruistic enough, the species as a whole suffers too much. There is a medium and humans oscillated with a leftward bias around it.
In an ideal world there would be altruism.
In the real world there is no such thing as true altruism.
But I do understand your concerns. I'd been upset to go into work while it was snowing. The numerous things that could go wrong. Oh and the fact that I ride a motorbike or take the bus. Mhm.
Well those were just examples. The point I tried to make was that I feel morally outraged at things that other people don't care about. Does anyone else ever do this, and is it a good or a bad thing?
I think I am more altruistic, but is that a bad thing? It's not as if i'm going to give all my money away and starve to death. I volunteer in an adult hospice, when I could be playing WoW, and I sometimes give things away to people. I suppose people could take advantage of this, and I do end up being more lenient with certain things, to avoid confrontation.
So.. do I continue to be morally outraged at things, and altruistic, or do I accept that most of the world isn't like this and join them in their selfish immoral ways? How do you find balance then between being too moral and too immoral? What if people who cared about slaves were considered "too moral", or soft, because "slaves aren't really people anyway".
In the real world there is no such thing as true altruism.
But I do understand your concerns. I'd been upset to go into work while it was snowing. The numerous things that could go wrong. Oh and the fact that I ride a motorbike or take the bus. Mhm.
Well this is kinda what I mean. So should we just accept that the world isn't ideal and leave things as they are?
I think as long as we are human and for as long as we live. People will always seek the ideal. That's just how survival works. But...sadly...I don't think the ideal will ever occur.
Even so it doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for it.
Think about it though.
If we lived in Utopia someone would want to bring it down.
If we lived in Dystopia someone would want to bring it down.
In our efforts of the ideal, when we live in the ideal the world seems to perfect and then the ideal is to have flaws.
I like to say, I have flaws, but I am perfect because I'm flawed.
Same goes for any society really.
In the real world there is no such thing as true altruism.
That's is one of the truest and wisest things I've seen on this forum.
As for the question in the OP, I seem to care more about animals than other humans. If lying to and undercutting another person would be beneficial to me, then I'd probably do it. But I love my cat a lot, and I care deeply about animals in general. I'm strange.
Same thing here.
I remember taking a "verbal self defence" course many years ago. One of the topics that was discussed was when to make an "issue" out of something.
I can't remember all the criteria exactly - but I remember it being something like this:
When it can cost ones health/life (e.g children playing is okay - but children running and bumping into elderly people or in a restaurant where the waitress is carrying hot Vietnamese Noodle Soup is something to be assertive about).
When it costs someone money (e.g my neighbour running their hot water and keeping their door open in the winter only affects their utility bill - if my neighbour was plugging their power tools into MY outdoor electrical outlet - then I have something to be assertive about)
When it costs someone dignity (e.g. if you swear around me "Well, *%#, *$%&*, this is a horrible thing" is one thing (I don't like swearing - but I am not everyone's mother and I am not going to go around telling people to mind their language) - however, if they say "$%^ you, Canadian Rose" - I will be assertive about it.
As for your boss and their insistence of you coming into work - you both have valid points. You want to stay safe. She has a business to run and expects the people that she hired as employees to be reliable. If you find that her expectations are unreasonable - you have to option of quitting and finding other employment - perhaps a little closer to you, or on a reliable transit line). She also has the option of firing you if you are not reliable. The thing is - your having to go into work affects your safety. You staying at home costs your boss money. It ends up being a matter of whose needs are more of a priority. If she needs you more than you need her - you have some leverage. If you need her (and the job) more than she needs you - you need to learn to drive comfortably in the snow or make alternative transportation.
Anyway - the point is - take a deep breath and consider the criteria. Does it affect your health and safety? Does it cost you money? Does it affect your human dignity. After you have determined this - consider alternatives to moral outrage. Would it be easier and less stressful to just make a minor adjustment yourself. Is the perceived cost/safety really critical or just minor (e.g. someone is wearing a bit too much perfume in the store - it affects my health because it makes me sneeze - but I spend about 10 minutes in the supermarket and I can just go another section and shop in a different order to avoid this perfumed person. On the other hand, if it was a person in my carpool who wore too much perfume - I might politely tell them that I am sensitive to aromas and suggest that they apply their perfume at work or use less of it. No need for moral outrage - people are actually very reasonable when approached in a kind way.
Another thing to consider - especially for people with autism/aspergers or traits thereof - we might be doing something that someone else finds offensive or morally outrageous. Remember, we are a little mindblind and may offend someone without knowing it. I would like to think that others are flexible and accepting of me
Verdandi
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I'm not sure I'd lie to or undercut most people, but I do find it much easier to relate to my cats than most humans. I care about people, but dealing with many of them is annoying.
#$@@#$$$%#$ you Canadian Rose.
Btw, this is more for amusement and as you can tell I just put down a bunch of random symbols. This is a disclaimer so no one gets really upset by it. I just couldn't resist because it sounded kind of funny.
Like today, it was snowing really heavily and I didn't want to risk going into work. I didn't want to get stuck in the snow and maybe have to walk home late at night, as it may not be safe. So I phoned in and was told I should come in because people have come to work from miles away, etc. Well that's all well and good for them, but just because they were willing to risk skidding and crashing their car, or getting stranded, doesn't mean the rest of us should. Also, I didn't want to risk getting attacked while walking home at night. But she told me to try all options to get into work. So in the end I managed to make it in, to avoid confrontation, and got home safely. But I was angry all day because it felt as though the manager cared more about the company making money than my well-being.
Then there was another incident where my manager tried to sell eggs that had been contaminated with mouse droppings.
Amongst other things I get angry at all the injustice, etc that goes on in the world, and how selfish and generally stupid a lot of people are.
When I told people about these things they kinda shrug it off and more or less said "that's how things are". So it makes me think it must be wrong to worry or be angry about things like this, but I can't seem to help it.
Although, maybe being morally outraged at some things can be a good thing. Afterall, if everyone just shrugged and accepted how things are we would still have slavery, etc. But perhaps the things I get annoyed with are silly, but I don't know how to stop being annoyed...
I think you are right about everything you say in this message. And it is people who think like you who change the world for better. As in your example about slavery, for it to be abolished first there had to be people who realised it was wrong, and then others who had some kind of power in the society to be able to do something about it, and then all the people who had enough courage to risk their lives for it. So changing things is not always easy, but it is possible.
Another thing I understand from your message is that if you owned a business, you would probably be the kind of boss who cares and would have closed the company for the day, or at least not pressured an employee the way you were pressured into going to work that day. I have known one like this, he was doing great with his business, but was a great boss too, so the 2 are definitely compatible. About the eggs I agree with Chronos, and you were right again to disagree with the manager about it.
Don't stop being annoyed, you have a conscience and you are right, and try to change things for better when there is something you can do about it. Don't "beat yourself up" tho when there is nothing you can do, but at least you have a conscience and you know the difference between what is right and what is wrong, if everyone had one the world would be a lot better.
_________________
That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along. ~Madeleine L'Engle
I think it comes down to having integrity. I can't just see something wrong and not care about it, but as Canadian Rose said, it's important to learn to pick your battles (though it's something I have yet to learn). It's one thing to take on a just cause and fight for it in the name of justice, but it's another to get incensed at every little thing and become distraught over it, or to start lashing out because of it. I'm very bad at finding that balance, because I get outraged even at small injustices. I have gotten myself into trouble by picking the wrong battles, and should have learned to avoid them, but every time they still get to me.
happymusic
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I'd be a little put out by all those things, too. Except puppies. I like them very much.
Really though, if your manager's selling eggs that have had mouse droppings on them she needs to be reported immediately. I'm sure you can report it anonymously with the health department. It would be unethical for you to allow such practices to go unreported.
And I agree with you about the snow and commuting, too.