Counsel for a Counselor

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I am a parent of a child who is on the spectrum Also, I am a licensed counselor, and I work with a number of kids, ages 7 up to 18 who are on the spectrum. I would like advice from you on: 1) what is helpful from a counselor (what to do), 2) what is NOT helpful (what NOT to do), and 3) what you wish more counselors could be helping with in terms of adding to the success and well being of the Aspie community (products, services, etc.)

Just asking yourself those questions is 90% of the secret to being a good counselor!

Will there be monetary compensation for our consultations?

I am already a licensed counselor, so I do get compensation for my services. However, I want to offer some free information (reports, e-books, short courses), and there will also be products that need to be purchased.

I found for me that what didn't work in therapy was when the counsellor already knew what the therapy was for. I felt like I was expected to read from a script to keep other people happy, and it prevented me from finding my own voice in the therapeutic environment. I think finding one own's voice is pretty important, regardless of other issues like disability.

Ah-HAH!

So, have you come here to save us from ourselves, or are you hoping to expand your business?

Please forgive the cynicism, but I honestly want to know what your intentions are for being here.

Fnord, why don't you give the guy a break. I don't think you have sufficient evidence to justify your conclusions.

Not too many people in that line of work would even consider asking aspies about aspergers.

I have no conclusions, only suspicions.

I'd just like for him to state his intentions.

I appreciate your honesty, and I will also be honest with you. Three purposes:
1) to learn more about how to be a better parent to my son, who is on the spectrum
2) to be a better therapist to the clients on my caseload who are on the spectrum
3) yes, I do want to expand my business, but only in a way that will provide value to those who I serve, that is, my clients, and others who are on the spectrum. I want to offer value, but I would hope that there would be compensation, as in any business.

Thank you for asking a great question. In answer to the first part of your question, if I would assume that Aspies need to be saved from themselves, and that would be a very pessimistic view of anyone. In my counseling work, I much prefer to view any person as a person, rather than as a labeled category. Therefore, I view each person as I view myself, a person with a lot of potential and gifts, who may also have challenges in their life. My job is to help each person move toward the best outcomes possible for themselves and their loved ones.

Also, please be aware that I have also been through my own counseling, both for myself, for advice on how I can be helpful to my son, and for our family.

I suppose that if you're not posting to "... promote a website, group or product..." then I have no complaint to make.

In the past, there have been NTs who seemingly presumed to have answers to our Asper problems, when in fact they had no particular expertise in any field even remotely related to ASDs.

Many Aspers are also gullible, in that we tend to take what is said or posted in its literal form - rather than adhering to the idea that if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. I have been burned more than once by so-called "life coaches" and "prosperity counselors," so when I googled your name and read the results, I was immediately ... concerned.

I am not accusing you of anything; the foregoing is by way of explanation.

Welcome aboard.

Fnord, I can definitely understand your concern, especially if you have been burned in the past. What were some of your experiences of 'being burned'. Have you had NT's lurk around the forum for a while, just to take advantage of people in terms of pushing their products, etc?

Yeah. I've had counselors who thought they knew what I was about without asking me... that's the worst, and worse than useless. I'm an individual, not a collection of labels; and while autism defines a large part of me, it's uniquely MY autism--not somebody else's; not some stereotype or diagnostic category. I experience it in a way that's not quite like anybody else's experience of the same diagnosis; and that means that any counselor I work with will have to try to understand not just my diagnosis and the generalities of it, but how it applies to me and my daily life. When a counselor comes into the relationship with preconceived ideas about what I must be like, it's a certain sign that I'll get nothing done.

I would also recommend that you focus on strengths in your clients. They are probably already painfully aware of their shortcomings; but they may not realize what they are good at because it simply seems easy to them... One does not need to be popular to be happy (and many popular people are not happy) but many Asperger children have been told repeatedly that social skills are the key to happiness... repeatedly made aware of what they are not good at... bullied by children, sometimes abused by adults, because of what they are not good at doing (and in many cases, just because they "looked odd"). When society desires the very thing that you don't do well, you start to devalue yourself... My solution was to realize just how little social skills actually contributed to the times when I was happy and contented with my life. Social skills can, in any case, be learned and used (with effort; sometimes with a lot of effort; sometimes awkwardly; but still learned and used); but it's the strengths, not the weaknesses, that'll help us find what we were meant to do and do it.

Digressing for a moment to the original topic, you might want to suggest to those kids that not everybody shares their fascination with the architecture of Korean grain silos in the 1700's.

It took me a long time to figure that out on my own.

1.Concern for what happens for their patients when their 'time runs down' at 18 years of age - presumably you are one who understands AS is neither universally cured nor fatal at age 18.
3.Advocacy (from within the 'healing professions') for support and services for those 18 years and over.

Last edited by pandd on 21 Dec 2008, 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah. Clue them in; don't expect them to "just know" things that are "obvious".