Are aspies often unable to say NO to people?

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Do you feel that you often say yes when you actually mean no? Do aspies have a tendency to not be able to say no to people?

It often makes me uncomfortable to do so, but I would much rather say NO up front than get cornered into an obligation that causes me social panic and meltdown.

If someone pesters me endlessly about something, I may finally tell them YES and then just not do it. But by then they've had that coming.


"I DON'T THINK SO" is my go-to answer for almost anything. That and "PROBABLY NOT"

I have no issues saying no.

I have issues with "No" because I typically go along with everyone else. However when I get to know someone I usually start little disagreements and say "No" too often.

Some parents tell their kids to do what NTs want. So maybe these kids can't say NO, because they have learnt it's sth wrong and they feel worse than NTs?

Yes! I totally agree with you on this one!

I was asked on monday to participate in a rounders tournament today for the school, and I really didnt want to- I enjoy playing rounders for fun, but when it's serious I always mess up infront of everyone, or panic and throw the ball to the wrong post and stuff. So what did I say instead? 'Uhhhh yeaah, ummm, well can I see if I've got anything planned and get back to you please?' Ack

So this then meant that for the rest of the week I was avoiding the captain of the rounders team and frantically trying to find an excuse not to play- bearing in mind I really am awful at lying, and I hate doing it too, I'll go bright red, and regret it halfway or something.

So I was quite pleased to hurt my back on tuesday, woohoo I had an excuse. So, when confronted again on wednesday, what did I say? 'Uhh, well I hurt my back yesterday so I dont know yet if it'll be better in time'. Nooo, still didnt manage it!

It wasn't finally until thursday I decided the only way to go was to email the captain and explain my back still hurt so I couldnt play. Phew.

But yeah, a very long and drawn out way to finally say no. I really am awful at it.

No.
Irony?
I think so.

I don't know if it's personality or upbringing, but I am very bad with boundaries in general. But pestering doesn't work; like the person above, I just get irritated and more stubborn. I am easily cajoled, however.

I figured it was just my nature. Over the years I have become a little more assertive, but I still feel really bad to tell someone "no", even if it just isn't something I can possibly give them or do for them. I feel bad for pan handlers, but I am poor and just cant give them anything (besides what if it is for drugs or they are a scammer?).

I dont feel too bad telling my daughter "no" because she asks for some pretty crazy stuff. I was terrified to ask for things as a kid, so I welcome her asking. i will try to honor all reasonable requests, so I think she understands when I cant accommodate it.

I have no problem telling a man "no" for a date if I don't want to date him, but they always want to know why.

no, no, no.

I never can identify with those self-help books that talk about how people 'can't say no' and try to teach them. I isolate and say no to almost everything. I need to learn how to say yes and participate more.

I have a hard time saying no, because I don't want to hurt the other person.

I am good at telling people no.

I struggle to say no. It makes me a bit uncomfortable and worried about how the person will react.

I'm quite used to saying no and it's not often that I say yes. However, there isn't many moments where I'm in a spot to say yes or no in the first place. I get pretty annoyed if someone wants a yes or no answer to a question I feel like I'm not able to give such a black or white answer too.

When I was growing up, I learned that what other people wanted was more likely to be socially acceptable than my own first choice, so I learned to go along unless I was absolutely horrified at their suggestions. This was a mostly OK coping mechanism, but did lead to occasional disasters.

As I got older, I came up with a way to first, say something complimentary about the person and/or their request, and second, say I can't/don't/don't want to, do that. "I really like/approve of your project/social event/whatever, but I won't be able to/can't/don't go in for that sort of thing. I hope it works out well for you."