"Bless your heart"?

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Is the saying "Bless your heart" offensive? I commented on a friends' photo of her daughter crying "awww, bless her heart" and she seems really offended. She keeps using the phrase kind of in an odd manner now, but I can't tell if she's being sarcastic or not (big surprise). Did I do something wrong????

Bless your heart I think is a positive phrase, but it's a bit weird and old fashioned like wavefreak said.

A friend of mine grew up hearing/using it, and when she uses it, it's sort of a prelude to "I am now about to share some negative gossip."

The phrase "Bless your/his/her heart" is quite old, and yes, it has a religious connotation. When someone does something in an obvious attempt to hurt or offend someone else, they are considered to have an evil heart. We all have evil hearts according to the Bible, but follow me, please. We ask God to bless their hearts in the hope that they will turn from their evil ways. When you say "Bless your/his/her heart", you are in effect saying in a nice way that that person is evil, and intentionally hurt the victim. This is why the phrase is considered offensive to the subject.

This has a similar origin to the phrase "(God) bless you" when someone sneezes or coughs. Back in the old days, sickness was considered a direct result of sin. It is actually an indirect result according to the Bible, but over the years this was misinterpreted, mostly with the help of John Calvin and his followers. Saying "(God) bless you" to someone is saying we hope God cures them, not only of the sickness, but of the sin they committed to deserve the sickness in the first place.

Please, no comments about how Christianity and/or Judaism are/is a myth. It is a tired argument, and is no more proveable than its being factual. - LJS

Oops. I thought it was just a saying. I guess I shouldn't have said that Crud.

I think it depends on where you are from. I know a woman from the deep south who explained to me that when she says "Bless her heart" she means essentially that the person is mentally incompetent. But I think someone from California, where I live, would take it to mean something like "isn't she sweet?" It might help to let your friend know how you meant it, pointing out that the regional difference might have caused some confusion.

"Bless her heart" can mean a few things:

When said about someone in a sad situation it means, "Aww...poor thing"
When said in the context of "Bless her heart, but..." it means "I feel for her, but she really should know better." or "She's just not bright enough to know any better, is she?"
It can also be said sarcastically when someone really doesn't pity the other person, like, "I pity her, really I do..."

Southerners usually pick up on the context fairly easily, but as I haven't said it to anyone else in anything but playful joking, I am not sure how other people take it.

Who knows, maybe she heard you say it and remembered that she heard it before and likes it but forgot it until you said "bless her heart" upon seeing the picture of her daughter? Now she wants to make up for all the times she has forgotten to say it?

it's a bit uncommon, but i don't see why it would offend any one (i am an atheist btw)

I must admit I thought it would be (positive) and showing empathy for her daughter as she appeared to be crying in the photo... We used it quite a bit in Ireland and it was almost like wishing someone well.