Ugh I just want to jump out of my skin..

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I'm overly impatient and feel like I want to explode over stupid things (but I don't, I hold it in)

My mind is constantly racing. When I try and control it, when conversing for instance, I OVERfocus, get stuck on small details, and take longer to process things than others

I can't focus on anything for long periods of time, yet when it comes time to do schoolwork I somehow buckle down and get A's and B's

I can't look people in the eye without a huge surge of anxiety and can be socially awkward

I used to show symptoms of OCD e.g. mental "counting" rituals and checking to make sure the door is locked/oven is off/etc a number of times. I would just keep doubting or wondering if I truly checked.

I zone out all of the time and feel like im in my own world

I am sensitive to touch. For instance, when I have to wet my hair before a haircut and feel my wet hair up against my body it bothers me for some odd reason. Also, when people touch me unexpectedly I get jumpy

I have routines, like for two years straight I ate the same thing almost every. I consciously broke out of these routines.

I have self-stimming habits like biting my nails and twirling my hair. I always figured they were just OCD symptoms. Now I think it's to stop me from zoning out and going off in another blank stupor.

I can't remember ever meeting someone and emotionally connecting with them

No matter how many times I go into a social setting, even if it's the same setting such as a classroom, I ALWAYS experience the same amount of intense anxiety

I have never opened up to anyone about my life (my family is pretty dysfunctional)

I have no special interest but I have a general hunger for knowledge of all kinds.

Huge procrastinator

You have no idea how much I desire to be able to communicate with people naturally, I get depressed over it. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth going to college. The only thing that will help me achieve is financial success. What I care about more is people. I don't get how someone so compassionate and understanding can suck so much at obtaining that human connection.

I don't know if I have Asperger's, but I surely feel I relate to the symptoms more than anything else. The only thing keeping me motivated is the idea that moving away to college could solve any environmental causes that may factor into me failing so badly at socializing as well as the zoning out, racing thoughts, etc.

This probably sounds like a rant, but I just feel lost and confused about life and it sucks.

Finally! My long lost twin!

Triplet on about 80% of what you have written.

You are not alone.

Quadruplet?! I could have definitely written an almost identical account and posted it myself...! You sound very similar to me!