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antonblock
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14 Jan 2011, 4:18 am

Hi there,

i think alot and mostly decide after thinking alot what to do best and check if it follows the golden rule ("don't do anthing to anyone, you don't want that anyone does to you"). If there are some emotions, i mostly try to ignore them. Why do i distrust them? Mmm, maybe because most people argue anything by saying they have this and that feeling. Don't know.

This distrust against emotions and feelings seems to be one of my problems. When a woman was loved by me and someone else, I didn't state her my feelings and emotions - and i truely loved her so much -, instead I just sent her some witty and creative emails.

I didn't feel like sending her some intelligent, creative, and witty emails, i had fears, that she would take the other one. But i wrote her that, because i thought i couldn't write her how much i love her and that i also would like to marry her and so on. Why? Because i thought emotions are manipulative, everyone can say so. Therefore i didn't say that, instead wrote something intellectual.

Maybe when she read those mails, she thought i don't feel really much for her, maybe it appeared distanced. She took the other one.

Are all emotions manipulative? Why do you distrust feelings?
Do I think of love too intellectual? What is love without stating feelings?

best regards,
anton



Pandora_Box
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14 Jan 2011, 4:50 am

These are questions I asked a lot too.

I don't know the answers to these, but I'm not going to give you a lame answer either though...like..."you'll figure it out"



Densaugeo
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14 Jan 2011, 8:40 am

I am a very rational person, and have gotten along quite well without involving emotions in my decisions. On the other hand, I'm not into women so I don't really know what you may need to do there...

It sounds like a good starting point would be to communicating your feelings in future relationships, though I wouldn't base too many major decisions on them. Every time I see someone base too many decisions on them they screw themselves up.



StuartN
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14 Jan 2011, 4:35 pm

antonblock wrote:
This distrust against emotions and feelings seems to be one of my problems.


Alexithymia (inability to identify emotions and feelings) is an AS symptom - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2092499/#S2 is quite an interesting article, the link is directly to the section on the effects on social relationships.



CockneyRebel
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14 Jan 2011, 6:12 pm

I trust my emotions very well.


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jagatai
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14 Jan 2011, 7:18 pm

I try not to let my emotions guide my actions until I have carefully considered the situation. But sometimes that's a lot easier to say than it is to do.

I suppose I trust my emotions to indicate certain things about what I really feel, but I don't believe those feelings are always the best thing to act on. I think this works in some situations but it also means I come across as cold or uninterested. I think there are benefits from acting on your emotions, but I'm uncomfortable with the fear of making a fool of myself.


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MarkMartino
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14 Jan 2011, 7:20 pm

I don't trust mine for at least 24 hours, and if I can manage it, more than that. I know what I feel, but I don't trust that my immediate reaction is what I really feel.


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