Were you a "sore loser" as a kid?

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By that I mean did you take it hard whenever you lost at a board game? I remember I was. We had this game called 'Dynamite' where you go around on these bridges and if the dice lands on a picture of a bomb you push down the trigger and bridges 'blow up' at random, and if your man was on one of the bridges that 'blew up' then you were out of the game.

I used to play it with my siblings and cousins, but if I lost then I'd start crying and yelling. In fact the game caused so much arguments that my mother had to ban us from playing it for a while. I knew how games worked and what winning and losing meant and all that, but I just couldn't handle not winning for some reason.

Also I hated going last when taking in turns with an activity. For example one time when I was about 8 I was with my brother and sister and some other kids from the neighbourhood, and we were all taking in turns on a swing that some older kids had built in a tree. But my go was last, and I remember standing there crying the whole time because I was last. I think I felt like being made to go last felt like I was the least valid or something, as I was often made to go last. I didn't mind not going first exactly, but I hated going last.

Anyone else difficult like this with games as a kid? I knew how to take turns and everything but I think I just had self-esteem issues.

My daughter was very frustrated with games as a child. I asked her recently if in looking back she could see a reason for it. She mentioned that she felt it was a waste of time if she didn't win and only later did she come to see the objective was not winning, but spending time with friends.

Yes.
And I hate it.

I want to learn from my mistakes so I can keep winning, not have a stupid egocentric emotional detour over it.

It's one thing to be driven to win, it's another to be a sore loser.
Just one part of the reason why I do not trust my emotions.

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Yes

At board games? Not really, it's not like you get a prize or money for winning. But party games where the winner would get a prize would be very frustrating, upsetting, and humiliating. Musical chairs had to be the worst, I was just too slow at everything to get on a chair in time. Sometimes it felt like I was the only kid who never won at any party games.

In a lot of stuff I didn't care, like with sports. I had to forced on me and hated it, I just couldn't wait till it was time to go home. Video games on the other hand, I would lose my s--t sometimes.

It's not that I wanted to win exactly, I think I just couldn't handle losing, maybe I felt embarrassed or something.

In sports I wasn't really bothered if my team won or lost because it wasn't just me, it was a whole team, so I wasn't the only one who had lost, if that makes sense. Sometimes I stupidly made the team lose because I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing.

I remember one game we had to play in PE at school, I didn't really get the rules but one team had to pass the ball backwards through each other's legs as quickly as possible with no mistakes otherwise your team loses. I paid attention as much as I could and hoped to God I wouldn't screw up. When the girl in front of me passed the ball through her legs I grabbed it, thinking "good, I'm doing it right" - but instead of passing it through my legs to the girl behind, I twisted round and gave the ball to her. I really don't know why I did that, because I knew I had to pass it through my legs. I think I was just nervous of screwing up, even though I did screw up. The team all sighed at me and even swore, and I felt so bad and embarrassed.

I hated playing those games in PE. I don't think schools should force you to play team games. I found them so daunting because I wasn't the best with bats and balls and remembering complicated rules and having to pay attention to the ball. I liked doing athletics and things like that, because I was a fast runner and I found things like that fun. But team games were intimidating. And the PE teachers wondered why some kids kept writing notes excusing them from PE games, they probably hated it as much as I did. I didn't like writing notes excusing me from PE games because I felt I had to pretend to look unwell and I could always tell the teacher wasn't pleased.

I used to carry whole teams as a kid. PE especially.

As much as classmates wanted me on their team... So was winning or losing kinda shift some stuff towards me.

And winning in most parlor games for essentially 90% at the time.



Being driven to win and being a sore loser -- I see it as two very seperate things.

Overtime I had been losing the drive to win, yet being a damn sore loser fricking remained or worse, driven me into some sort of apathy to cope. It does not help me or anyone.

Most people's idea of 'humbleness' does not fricking help.

And I just hate it that not even experience of living itself made it to outgrow it.
Nope! I just had to more or less consciously figure the whole emotionality physics instead of natural progression.


I want the former back, rid of the latter, like I had always wanted.

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About the only times I played board games as a kid was with my parents usually during vacations & I tended to win. I don't think my parents let me win but I was just good at those games. We only played easier games like Trouble, Candy Land, Ants In The Pants, Shoots & Ladders. I never played games like Scrabble, Chess, Monopoly, or Life & the idea of playing those games gives me a headache. I don't think my mind can handle learning all the rules & keeping track of all that stuff. I tend to have a slow mental processing speed. I want to avoid things I'll struggle with. I do not care about losing or embarrassing myself, I just want to feel like I'm learning what I'm supposed to do. I struggled in lots of school subjects as a kid party due to dyslexia along with AD[H]D, sluggish cognitive tempo, &/or maladaptive daydreaming. The idea of playing those more advanced games reminds me of trying to learn Algebra One. I failed every single test & I only had an idea of what to do in pre-Alegbra & I only reversed the problems to solve them. I'm very used to losing at most things in life due to my mental issues on top of my physical disabilities. I never had any desire to play sports & only did so during PE class.

It didn't bother me if I won or not. I'm not competitive and very laid back when it comes to playing. If I see someone getting more worked up from losing, I'd let them win the next round.

Thought to add that when I had an idea of what to do I did try my best during the game or contest but it was not a big deal to me if I won or not. When we played games or had contests during school I'd go through the motions so to speak to look like I was trying. I tried a little more when I thought it was something I might actually have a chance of winning but I never wanted to do any work outside of school. When it was during school I was mostly just happy because we had a break from classwork instead of caring if I won or not. I tried my best when I was taking tests & such but I did not really try at home, I'd do my homework but I never studied. I took the easiest classes I could when I had a choice during high-school not because I wanted good grades but because I wanted the easiest workload, at least what seemed like it would be the easiest workload for me.

Defeatism & learned helplessness are part of my personality. When it comes to job searching I'd put in apps but not expect to hear back & I don't bother trying to contact the places to ask them to check on my apps. However I did try my best when I was hired because I didn't want to lose the job & be unemployed & searching for an extended period. When it comes to voting I expect my vote to be on the losing end like 85% of the time. I vote because I feel I should try but I don't take action to try persuading other voters to join my side. When seeking relationships I expected extremely few women would give me a real chance but I still tried because I hated being single but I didn't majorly try to make a good impression. However I did try hard after I got in a relationship that became serious because I'm desperate to keep my partners due to loving them & not wanting to be single & miserable again. I don't have a lot of spoons to waste on effort that will not change the outcome.

I don't know if I was a sore loser as a kid because I can't remember but I know that I used to play cards a lot with my brother and it did often end up in fist fights in the parlour