How do you react with change?

Post Reply New Topic

I know this has probebly been asked before
but how do you react to change?
I get really frustrated and upset and avoid whatever the "change" is as much as possible

I hate change - always did. But now I *know* that I hate change, so I can deal with that, instead of blaming whoever might have made the change. Of course, if I can I'll put things back the way they were.

A small example: Law & Order Criminal Intent. Don't change detectives on me. It's supposed to be Vincent D'Onofrio. If they've substituted somebody else, I don't want to watch it, and I'm addicted to L&W. The thing I like about L&W Special Victims is that I know who I'm getting, they never change it. This *matters*. Of course this is just between you and me. I don't usually admit to it.

Geoff Goldblum was pretty damn good on Law & Order.

Change to me..hmm. Well it's like

THE WORLD HAS COME TO AN END!

Definitely my worst autistic symptoms. I get distressed and meltdown over the slightest change.
Today it was over rain because I had planned to go into town and I was washing my clothes and shoes. And I needed these shoes by Thursday. It's Monday.

My huge meltdowns are when I'm think I've planned for something then suddenly it changes. Either my transport plans fail or like my niece's birthday party the place I had to go wasn't the place I thought. I thought it was in a familiar house but it was at a crowded park on a very hot day.
That was probably the worst meltdown in 10-15 years.

Usual distress can be over any slight change like switching tasks or having someone unexpected come over or even when a TV show is supposed to be on but isn't. These are little tremors compared to what I described above.

According to what happened in my life in late June, very crappy. I froze in time, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You have to be a Kinks Fan to understand what I'm talking about.

I can't cope easily with sudden change that's inflicted on me, but if I get a bit of warning then it's not usually so difficult. And I'm often able to make changes myself, which is much better because I can control the timing, the direction of the change......so if I don't feel up to the change, I know I don't have to do it. I keep a lot of stuff the same, but there's no one thing that I simply can't change, as long as I can see the point and have time and motivation to adapt. A lot of the anger I feel from day to day has its roots in the routine-wrecking surprises that other people give me.

Change is confusing, but tolerable. First it takes time to adjust as I stumble around for a while. It's like the scene on hot tub time machine, where they wake up to a new life, because their friend Lou stayed behind and changed their fortunes with the future.

I hate:

how computer software changes all the time because they have to have a 'new version' to sell. So features are added, menus are changed and moved around, terminology is changed. Most of the change is cosmetic. Then you have to relearn the software. And in the end you don't increase productivity at all. You just do things differently.

how packaging changes, again only to have something new and different, when the actual product is not new or different in any significant way.

how movies have scenes or parts of scenes cut from them to fit into a specific time slot.

how major websites change their design once or twice a year

how 'new features' keep getting added to web pages when the old features were fine. Especially since all they really do is slow down the site.


Basically I have lots of trouble with non-functional change. Change for the sake of change.

Yes:

When I try to find something and it's been moved from its usual location - finding it can calm things down, at least.

When people visit unannounced - I will be upset all day, but I will avoid people all day as well. Sometimes I might get gradually okay with them being present and interact a bit, but usually I just avoid them and pretend they're not here. Since I'm not responsible for hospitality, I get away with this. If I were, the rule would be "no visits with last minute warning."

When I plan to go somewhere but the plans are disrupted - especially at the last minute. This is one of the few things I get angry enough to start arguments about, since I rely on others for transportation, and they have a more than occasional tendency to not get me to where I want to go after agreeing to do so because someone else needed to go somewhere.

Change doesn't always make me upset, but it can disrupt me in other ways, and make it difficult for me to get things done until I can adapt to it, which can take days or more.

Badly. It usually depends on how big the change is. Big changes scare me, small changes just bother me. Small changes like when Facebook changes it's layout just annoy me. But big things like location changes bother me, and sometimes I get panic attacks from stuff like that. I actually declined an invitation to the Bahamas because while there, I would have to change my routine and that'd be very hard for me. People keep asking me why I didn't want to go, and I'm like "You're not going to understand even if I told you."

I hate change, but I don't have massive meltdowns. My 'meltdowns' feel like something explodes and then I just cry a bit and it's over. Once I moved all the furniture in my room around. It is v. heavy furniture and I had to move it all out into the corridor and then back in. I hated it, but when to sleep. I woke up about twenty times feeling panicky. Then in the morning I had one of my mild meltdowns and spent the whole day putting everything back exactly as it was. I was all jumpy and weird that week because it still looked different, even though I'd put everything back in their old place. The cushion wasn't exactly in the same position as last time, things went missing, it wasn't great.
Changes to routine aren't terrible. I took the bus the whole of December and I had to get up super early to catch it, and this morning I felt a bit weird passing the time I usually took the bus and not going then, but it was okay. The change from secondary to 6th form was absolutely fine. But then, I'd had ages to prepare for it. If I think I'm going to be eating on my own and then my mum says it's a family dinner, that gets me a bit het up, but I don't really show it.

I hate changes, and I do whatever I can, to avoid them unless absolutely necessary. This includes keeping friends forever, even if maybe the friendship isn't so good, and it includes continuing to patronize businesses in places I used to live, although they're now ridiculously far away to be convenient, and there are others closer, etc. We all have to sustain changes in life and livelihood, and I survive them, but it's seldom by choice. I have the same TV set that I've been using for 35 years, and I don't get rid of vehicles when I get another one, if I can figure a way to keep them all. I kept using a rotary dial phone all the way through the 2000s, although I know they can't be used to do things like banking and whatever requires touch tones. I don't like animated ring tones on phones either... I want a good old mechanical BELL, like a phone is supposed to have.

As far as my reaction to unwanted changes; I guess I just get uptight about it for awhile, and then I settle into the new (whatever). I don't recall having a meltdown over a change, but I have had episodes of disrupted sleep and depression, over such a little thing as a favorite cashier at the Taco Bell quitting her job and not being there anymore.

Probably the most glaring thing, which became one of my hobbies and special interests (aka obsessions), happened in January of 1986 when the County of Los Angeles stopped testing the Cold War air raid sirens on the last Friday of the month at 10:00 AM. Those tests were part of my life, and were as important to my brain as it's supply of blood and oxygen, LOL... The siren represented the advancement of time and life. When the sirens went quiet, I thought it was the beginning of the apocalypse or something. I solved the problem 30 years later by buying and restoring several air raid sirens (including the 500-lb Federal SD-10 which I am holding in my avatar). I know how goofy it seems, but it feels like my life is restored to normal, now that I have my own siren test day once again on the last Friday of the month. It's OK to laugh about it, as I laugh about it myself.

There are a few exceptions to my dislike and avoidance of change: I like to rearrange furniture now & then, and I do get excited to move to a new area usually. I've lived in about 15 places, but all within a 100-mile radius of where I was born & grew up.

Charles

I do like to keep my routine as often as possible, but I can accept change as long as I know about it ahead of time and can make the necessary preparations to prepare for the change. I don't like surprises.
If I go on a trip, I like to have time to map my route, gather info on what I want to do while I'm there, etc...
If we're going to have friends over, I want to know about it ahead of time ( I hate it when my BF says we're having friends over and it's happening that very day) and prepare food, clean hiome, etc...

I don't react very well to change it makes me upset or angry. It takes me awhile to get over that a change has happened. I do need my routines too and if they change it makes me upset or causes other issues for me.

I react agressively to chance because its always inflicted on me on purpose.

It depends on what that change is. If it's a change for the better, then I won't mind, or I might even welcome it. If it's just change for the sake of change, then I get bothered because I tend to be somewhat of a traditionalist.

It all depends on how much I'm used to whatever has changed and whether or not I'm already on edge from other stuff. I don't have full blown meltdowns but will flip out briefly over some stuff. If too much is going awry I may shutdown but that takes ALOT usually.