What do you think? Am I an Asperger's Syndrome case?

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I’m sure you get a lot of threads on here asking this same question, so sorry if I’m the millionth one this week!

Years back I learned of AS through news articles on the internet, and at first the descriptions of the disorder seemed to ring true with me. I was almost sure, due to a life of being the oddball with difficulties functioning normally at what others would consider mundane tasks despite being extremely bright (as my parents had always noted), that I was suffering from something beyond my total control. But I thought a form of autism, even a mild one, was a little extreme. After all, I was able to join the military (though career progress has been a little slow due to said difficulties) and function in life relatively normally, have a somewhat-existent social life, so it had to be something else, right? I disregarded and figured my issue was something along the lines of ADD, or nothing at all.

A psychologist I had later seen didn’t seem interested in diagnosing me with anything at all, other than that I was just depressed since I spent most of my time lamenting at my social failures in life (something I would later learn was a commonality of AS cases). She told me it couldn’t be ADD, because I was able to give so much focus to learning to play the guitar, something an attention deficit would not allow me to do. What she may have missed was the possibility that I gave ALL of my attention at various given times to the guitar (and music in general), and THAT was part of my problem. Regardless, I drove on in life, got married, and had 3 kids of my own.

At 28 years old, I’m still socially awkward. My only close friend is my wife. In fact, she’s the only person I even care to spend my time with. We became suspicious that my 2nd son, who is 18 months old, may be autistic, and thus the internet research began. Then my own suspicions about myself resurfaced. My wife read one article on Asperger’s Syndrome that I had left up, and remarked “That’s you!” In comparison, I don’t match up with a lot of common symptoms. But there’s some that I feel are serious red flags. Please tell me if you think this may be my issue. The following are things that suggest it is:

1. As I mentioned, social awkwardness. Looking back on my childhood, my friendships were a little one-sided, and unfortunately I was more interested in the toys they had or the video games we played together. I was completely outcast in high school, and of course did not date. To this day, I have trouble “shooting the breeze” with people, sometimes finding it unnecessary and not knowing how to end pleasant small talk. I usually spend the minutes after a conversation recounting it and kicking myself for not saying the best things. Over time, I’ve had to develop “tricks” to pleasantries, as my personality can be a bit dry. Usually, I copy the verbal mannerisms of the person I’m talking to. There were also plenty of times where I didn’t realize people were just “messing around” with me and that I was supposed to fire back, instead taking offense, getting irritated or hurt that they would WANT to “mess with” me. I would afterwards be told that I was an “easy target” for some reason. There are exceptions to all of this, of course. I’ve cracked good jokes plenty of times. I’ve found times where I was able to relax around others when they were cool with me. I learned eventually to woo the opposite sex by being able to come out of my shell and be “fun”. But its not always who I am. I’m always being told I look serious, or even angry, when I’m not at all. I’m usually very quiet.

2. Obsessive, one-track mindedness. I remember being about 6 years old, and I loved the soundtrack to the film Amadeus. So, basically, I loved Mozart’s music. I would sit in school and completely tune out the teacher for lengthy periods of time, instead listening to “Piano Concerto in D Minor” from start to finish – sometimes going back over my favorite parts - in my head. I still do things like this. My teachers told my parents on numerous occasions that it was like I wasn’t listening to them. I even had tubes put in my ears, because it was believed that I couldn’t hear well at all. I never noticed a change in my hearing after the surgery, but whatever, maybe that was the problem. Still, even my wife knows I fixate obsessively over things I’m interested in, usually something music-related (music is my passion!) like my favorite band, or some new band that I’m getting into. I learned guitar at age 6 and have played ever since. Music has always been my solace. I think I enjoy listening to good music than just about any other activity (not that I don’t enjoy other things, but this is by far my favorite). When I listen to music by myself, I usually listen to a small favorite excerpt of a song over, and over, and over, and over etc. until I’ve had my fix of it before moving on. I also probably needn’t mention that when I want something, I fixate on it until I get it.

3. Lack of empathy; Not always, but sometimes I’ve come across as cold, insensitive, and “mean”, even though I had no real intention of being so. Usually, though, I’m a kind-hearted softy that tries to avoid hurting feelings and that trait comes through often as well.

4. Intellectual interests, even at a very young age. Around age 7 I flipped through encyclopedias and read as much as I could on topics of interest (ancient Egypt was a big one) and even jumped ahead in my school textbooks, hungry for knowledge. I enjoyed in-depth theological discussions with my grandfather and discussions of metaphysics and all kinds of new-age stuff with my uncle and aunt.

5. Strange posture; this seems to be a indicator, but I’m aware of it and I am always watching my shadow and correcting my walking and standing posture, because it’s naturally awkward.

6. Extensive vocabulary. I was always very articulate, even at a young age. In high school I was told I was thought of as a snob. Oh well, they should read a book on their own time once in awhile.


Here are some things that don’t match typical indicators:

1. Interest in mathematics and numbers. Not really; I can do math, and grasp it even on higher levels if I worked at it, but it never interested me. I do excel at technological knowledge (I work on medical equipment and I love fixing electronics).

2. Fear/dislike of changing routine or need for structure. Not here. I was a messy kid, I always had trouble organizing things until recent years (and still have trouble keeping organized). However, when I DO start organizing, I do it very well and once I begin a cleaning or organization project I usually can’t stop until I’m as done as humanly possible. This I focus on something else, and forget to maintain what I just accomplished. I have trouble multi-tasking. I hate routine that lasts for too long. Eventually I crave change. Its possible, however, that I’ve stayed in the military because of the structure it provides my life when I feel that I cannot do it on my own.


Also, I’m not sure if this is an indicator of anything, but I find it easier to listen to people without making eye contact. While listening, I focus on objects around the room and reorganize them in my head. Or maybe I’ll connect dots on the wall with invisible lines in my head. I pace a lot. Not so much anymore, as I’m so busy, but I once had a friend at work jokingly mock my behavior; “This is you…” (he walks to a spot, stares briefly at a chair, then walks to another spot, stares briefly at another inanimate object, and so forth) I never realized it until then that I had such unusual behavior; I was always too lost in thought.

I’m sure there’s other things that I’ve forgotten to mention, but I’m sure you get the idea. Thanks if you took the time to read my novel! Any input on this is greatly appreciated.

To me, It sounds like it very well could be a classic case of AS. You don't have to love math, and many of us can be disorganized at times, especially at a young age.

You do sound like you may have Aspergers, but I'm sure most people on this site will tell you: you can't rely on their opinions in place of a diagnosis. Some people seem to accept their own self-diagnosis as enough evidence. If you can proceed to thoroughly research AS and determine on your own then do it. But if you're still unsure, I suggest booking an appointment with a specialist. Also, there are some decent Aspie quizzes online you can try.

This one is very long, and that's why I feel it is good; because it covers many important topics and if you do have AS you may find some of the answers JUMP OUT at you as obvious evidence of your AS.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

This one is much shorter, but was developed by a renowned Autism researcher (Simon Baron-Cohen...I'm still not sure if he's any relation to Borat)

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

I recommend taking both. If the results are overwhelmingly in favour of AS, then you've got reason to believe you may actually have it and could confidently seek a professional diagnosis.

PS. Nice nickname, nomadic28!

...And I'm also horrible at math and can be VERY disorganized.

Personally, I believe you're VERY likely to have AS. I fit in almost all of your symptoms too, though I like math and do well with numbers.

Anyway, take a look at the official diagnosis criteria: http://iautistic.com/test_AS.php

I just took the short quiz, and the results made no sense. It didn't give me an overall score, just a bunch of numbers and computer programing symbols. I guess that's part of the test?

http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test

sorry, here's a better link

i scored 34 on the baron-cohen one this time.

GEEZ! I scored 45! It says I'm an extreme Aspie! LOL

uh, congrats??

Could be, I did 4 active and 2 inactive and got an Honorable, so even though a lot of aspies don't do it its not a disqualifier. Finding Resources for adults can be challenging but shouldn't be a problem with your children. Welcome.

welcome to WP

and btw..... i have an ADD friend who plays the guitar extremely well!

Thanks. Knowmadic, would you happen to have an alternate link to the longer quiz? I can't seem to get my safari browser to read the results there either.

33 for me.

From what you have posted I'm going to say that you probably have AS. As for the symptoms you don't have, both can be easily explained.

First off, you don't need to be all that interested in mathematics. Just because your thought process is better attuned for mathematics then a normal persons doesn't mean you will actually like it.

Also your desire and ability to change your environment can simply be written off as a symptom you don't actually have. You don't need to have every symptom to have AS, and of course as an adult your symptoms will be less visible (which is why the very existence of autistic and aspie adults is barely mentioned by mainstream media).

I can't diagnose you, but the psychologist you saw about ADD didn't know what she was talking about. Does she have experience, and did she have you take some tests, or did she just dismiss the possibility out of hand? People with ADHD can focus or hyper-focus on some things. If they couldn't, an ADHD diagnosis would be as dreaded by parents as autism is - how can a person function as an adult if he can never focus on anything? People with ADHD can pay attention to some things some of the time, which leads parents/teachers/employers to think that they're just being lazy or annoying when they can't pay attention; they think it's "won't" focus. The symptoms you mention could be ADHD, or Asperger's (although I wouldn't consider ASDs to be "extreme"), or both or neither; you should see a psychologist who has experience with both if you want to find out for sure.