Bad friends

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I've always attracted "friends" who don't make the effort with me. I am always the one who messages them first (90% of the time or 100% of the time for one or two of them) for either a general conversation or message them first to hang out. And for one friend it's always on her terms (date, place, time etc). They never ask to make plans with me unless it's a once a year birthday thing or something . I even had a friend last year who eventually told me to stop talking to her on Facebook and we could only talk when we met up in person. I seem to attract people who are popular and I am a last priority for them. I eventually end up getting sick of people like this and cutting them off. I only see my friends every few months usually. I don't expect to see people every week but at least every 1 or 2 months. My wife can see how much this is upsetting me as this has been a recurring pattern for me for about 12 years . I don't know why I seem to attract the people who don't make an effort with me? Is this common with people on the autistic spectrum?