Eye contact

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How good are you at eye contact?

I thought I had gotten better over the years, but yesterday when I was talking to my uncle about xbox vs ps3 because he wanted to buy one. I couldn't look him in the eye most of the time. I looked up and away. I had my hand stimming behind the door way and was pretty stressed.

I think I'm pretty bad at it. I never really understood how bad until I started monitoring it. In a check out lines recently, I've several times realized I go through the entire process without making any eye contact at all with the cashier. Sometimes there is a furtive glance at the beginning. Then I watch my wallet or something.

Im not good at it, but I can do it. It just costs me a lot of energy, so if I dont have a lot of energy, I cant do it.

Very insisting people steal my energy and I can only think "lalalala" or "wonder what you thought when you put on your makup this morning" etc. when we have eye contact.

Eye contact feels like a contest or an assault. So even when I do make contact, I often adopt what might be called a 'fighting stance'.

I never have been very good with eye contact. It just feels awkward for me to look somebody in the eyes for an extended amount of time.

What bothers me is when I can't make eye contact and they're looking at my eyes dance around the room. I look at their eyes for a moment then away, and then I think "wait I should look at them when I'm talking" so I look back but then I get stressed and look away.

What's good practice for this???

Ive heard many people saying they fixate a point behind the persons head... well thats not my method.

It helpes me to move my eyes a lot when I look them in the face: study the whole face. When I move my eyes I can concentrate more, and I catch their eyes only for seconds. Somebody tells me this looks perfectly normal.

If I like the person, I find that I can look at one eye at a time; preferably the right one. It's trying to look at both at the same time that freaks me out!

It feels like something too intimate to me, like you are getting inside them and they are getting inside you.
I can therefore look inside womens eyes, especially if they are attractive, with men they have to be a really nice human being like Jesus that you could love, I dont feel comfortable having that depth of emotional attachment to most men.

It sounds strange to say it out loud (or read it written down) but I feel exactly the same way. I had a girlfriend in college that I thought I was in love with based entirely on the fact that she was insistent on making firm eye contact.

Hi,

I am very bad at eye contact!
When I talk to someone, I look down or away and I have some aspie mannerism with my hands and fingers...
But sometimes, we have to overcome this difficulty for job interviews for example.
For this, I have a little trick. It helps me to look at someone face, longer... I look between the eyes, as if there was a kind of dot. This is not THE trick but I find it helpful, especially when this "eye contact" has an important role during a discussion, interview etc...

We can also look at the forehead, but I think that there is a too big shift relative to eyes.

See you around

Well, I feel like I don't have an in-born eye-contact mechanism. I usually either stare or don't make any eye contact at all. Sometimes making eye contact makes me feel very uncomfortable, sometimes I end up staring (usually when I'm thinking of something else in the same time).

I wonder how this can actually work. I know when I am looking directly at someone's eyes. Surely they know as well. The operative word is 'contact'. If I fake it, the contact isn't actually made. Are people that so fooled that looking at a spot between the eyes is equivalent to actual eye contact?

If I am looking at someone I can tell when they're not looking at my eyes. I don't mind though.

My friend knows that eye contact is hard for me so he taught me a way to make it look like I'm making eye contact. I just have to look at people's forehead.

You're right, that's why I am talking about "trick" And yes, with all my respect, some people are that fooled!
It's just a personal experience during interviews, but it does not allow me to have an eye contact during 10 long MINUTES!! ! Maybe 2?...
Nobody can look at both eye. There is actually a very tiny move of your eyes when you look at someone, because you focus on the left eye and then the right one... It's not really visible. That's why looking at an imaginary spot could help... As I said, it's not THE trick which will resolve this problem.

But I want to insist that I have a big problem with eye contact! And this is the only little trick I found to overcome 2 long minutes of eye contact...