Old people saying whatever they want

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Probably a fairly representative example...

Last week I went to my grandmother's apartment (she lives in one of those apartment complexes exclusively for the elderly) to move some furniture for her, and lo and behold one of her friends (whom I had never met) was there.

After the inevitably awkward introduction, she said, "My, are you tall," and asked, "Do you play basketball?"

Now, I am 27 and look old for my age. Do other people have experiences dealing with situations like this and do you think questions like this are appropriate? I don't know what the protocol is for something of this nature.

No idea to be honest. I know exactly what your talking aboutthough, it seems a lotof elderly peaople reach the point where they just say "I don't care what people think anymore." I don't even know if that is the way we should all feel or if its something we should all avoud, much less how to react while around it. Sometimes I've found that because theydon't care whatyou think, they don't care how you react, while others actually do care what you think, and they just use the fact that they are older to be rude.

You just be kind and not let something that simple get to you.
Many old people have varying forms of dementia and cognitive dysfunction (Alzheimers is only one form of dementia). And like the variations of autism it can range from "do you play basketball" to standing in front of a mirror and and saying, "who are you, get out of my house". My father who had been a kind man, became angry and demanding. Yesterday with my Mom I had to tell her five times we were going to the eye doctor. Be as calm and patient as you can because that is the right thing to do and, in 10 year it could be me and in 50 years it could be you.

When I was a child, I got asked whether I played basketball or netball all the time.
I played netball for a while.

I remember a chinese waiter(in his 40's) told me that in China a tall girl either had to play basketball or get part of her legs chopped off (not sure if this is true or not)

Neon304

No idea to be honest. I know exactly what your talking aboutthough, it seems a lotof elderly peaople reach the point where they just say "I don't care what people think anymore." I don't even know if that is the way we should all feel or if its something we should all avoud, much less how to react while around it. Sometimes I've found that because theydon't care whatyou think, they don't care how you react, while others actually do care what you think, and they just use the fact that they are older to be rude

this makes sense.
depends on the person really.

Well, as you get older you don't really feel it; it just seems like everyone else is getting younger. When I see a 16 year-old behind the wheel of a car I get a little freaked out because it seems like a 'little child' is driving (until I remember that I'm an old fart). At 70-something it must seem like everyone under 50 is a child.

Also, they're (the elderly people) are just trying to interact -- the actual words don't matter so much as they're just trying to have some simple exchange. When I was younger I tended to take that stuff literally. It's really just "blah blah blah?" "blah blah." "blah!"

Yes, I don't get older, the others are getting younger - especially the hockey players and doctors. Old people are hard for me to deal with because Mom had Alz and it was tough. I can't take it, try to get away.

"My you're tall, do you play basketball" sounds like something a child would say. Funny it wouldn't bother me coming from a child but it's off-putting from an old person.

I used to get that comment and question, from my grandma and her friends, around the age of 12.

my grandmother does this. she's 80 and when she wants to break wind she does so, loudly, where ever she is. then, in case no one noticed, she says 'better out than in' at the top of her voice. buses are hell.
she also ignores all queues, only pays for half her groceries, and crosses the road where ever she wants.

I CAN'T WAIT TO BE 80.

I don't think I'd be offended to be told I was tall and to be asked in the same breath whether or not I play basketball. The answer would be a calm "no, I don't."

Apart from these brain disorders, older people often say just what they think because they're so near to death that they can't be bothered to be all sensitive and sycophantic any more. You've got a lot less to lose when you're old. All my life I've had to hide my true opinions and fake mainstream attitudes just to fit in. One day maybe it will be payback time.

Cut 'em a bit of slack. It must be pretty depressing to know that your health is getting gradually worse and that your time is pretty much over.

lol i was just thinking earlier how it must be awesome to be old and get away with what ever the f**k you like

I don't think there is any "protocol" really. It's pretty typical "small talk." She was just trying to get to know you.

Don't think it had anything to do with her age.

I don't find anything inappropriate about it. Just tell her "No, I don't." if that's true.

I was really thin when I was young. People used to say, "Man, are you ever thin! You should eat more!" Little did they know I ate more than anyone I knew. I didn't like those comments at all, and found them really inappropriate.

Would those same people say, "Man are you fat! You should eat less!"?

"Do you play basketball?" is a pretty harmless question. Though being the brunt of questions pertaining to height, if you are really, REALLY tall, could be just as tiresome as hearing comments pertaining to weight I suppose.

I think it's more the fact most old people think the world owes them something therefore they have the right to do and say what they want.

My Nana says whatever is on her mind, whether it's appropriate or not, regardless of who is listening. But instead of getting offended, we all just laugh when she says inappropriate things, because there's something inherently funny about the way she says it. She could seriously be a comedian if she wanted to. Although to be completely honest, there are times when her blunt opinions on things grate on my nerves:

A couple of months ago, we were at the store and I bought an Alice in Wonderland poster. I was trying to strike up a conversation about Tim Burton with the cashier, when my Nana interjected and said she thought Tim Burton was ugly. I said something like his appearance doesn't matter because he's an artistic genius. My Nana then said that Tim Burton only makes movies for the money rather than art. That really made me angry, but I tried to pretend like it didn't. When we got home, I threatened to kick her Shih Tzu over the goal posts in a nearby football field if she didn't take back what she said. I played it off like I was joking, but I was actually kinda-sorta serious.

Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is so bad about that question? I can't see anything inappropriate.

I don't know if 63 is old, but my mum thinks that she can say, whatever she wants to me. Swearing at me, one weekend, and than not giving the sympathy that I needed, the next weekend. I give up, man. I know that I'm the better person.