Conversations: Can you flow naturally in one?

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I always have to pause a second and think about what I'm going to say-I think I have trouble processing things so it takes me a second longer to actually think about the situation at hand. It makes having a naturally flowing conversation extremely difficult. I get anxious, distracted, and then totally lose my train of thought before the words leave my mouth making for awkward conversation. If I remember correctly the problem was greatly reduced when I was on Concerta. Is this an ADHD problem? Aspergers?

It can be both ADHD and AS. AS is more about not knowing what to say and ADHD about losing the train of thought. Stimulant medication does help to ease this problem.

Nope. I am stilted, halting and reliant on scripts, and initiating both conversation and a new topic of conversation is almost impossible.

I can deliver wonderfully fluent monologues, though.

Not usually. On rare occasions I find myself able to converse to the satisfaction of others, but the other participant generally either dominates the conversation or has an understanding of my difficulties.

Most do not understand, though. I have a couple friends I've known for years that I still can't seem to hold a conversation with without awkward pauses and 'WTF' moments.

This can be me when talking to NTs, because I have to consider which limits the spesific person lives within.

Can I flow naturally in one? Yes, in company with aspies and certain NTs.

I have trouble with a delay in processing verbal informatoin in conversations and struggle to maitain a conversation without awkward stumbles and pauses. I can take in verbal information but can't process it fast enough.

When I was diagnosed with AS my therapist said I definitely didn't have ADHD at all. So for me this is an AS issue.

no, i do not think i can have effective conversations.

the average conversations i have with people follow a pattern something like this:

i never initiate conversation, so i am always the second person to talk in a 2 way conversation.

while the talker talks, i try to listen carefully, but something they say will give me an idea that i then start to independently develop in my mind. after a minute or so, i am almost completely in my own world formulating a set of ideas based on the first idea they instilled in me. that is how i compose what my response will be when the talker finishes their sentence.

when the talker stops talking, i have generally not listened to what they have said beyond whatever they first said that stimulated my own imagination, so what i say usually has almost nothing to do with the real meaning of their discourse which i miss.

also, i most often continue to speak continuously until the end of the conversation without stopping to allow the other person to talk. i do not know why. to me it seems that as i am saying my sentence, i think of many corresponding things that i could add to further illustrate what i am saying, and i also think of offshoots from what i am saying, and i remember those offshoots, and when i am finished stating my original idea, then i immediately start talking about the offshoots i thought of while saying my previous paragraph .

in my second paragraph of response (which i initiate immediately without allowing time for the counterpart to talk) , offshoots start developing everywhere in my mind, and they provide food for speculation, so i speculate about those offshoots while i am talking mundanely about the original subjects of my second verbal paragraph.

after the second verbal paragraph ends, i am overloaded with potential new things to say (having thought them up while talking).

my communicative style seems to suffocate conversation, and most often, the conversational counterpart will abdicate from the conversation without saying another word except for the reason they have to go.

when they leave, for some reason, all the thousands of words i had ready to say just pop like a bubble and disappear. i forget about the matter entirely and i wonder why i spent the energy thinking about the ideas i built to say.

people who know me well can usually tolerate the lengthiness of my responses. tammy likes me to talk to her because she says the sound of my voice puts her to sleep.

if people only knew i would eventually come to a conclusion in my verbal chapter, then they would see that i would listen carefully to the first few sentences of their next go at talking before the same cycle happens all over again.

Yes, I can but usually these don't revolve around American Idol

Recently, I've been in several with my dad about WWII-- and it's two way. Generally, these are about 'guy' related interests.

This is something that makes me stop and wonder about my position on the spectrum due to the fact I can roll with these- I can keep it alive with questions and people do walk away with satisfaction.

I can find interest in it and it is edifying, but the thing with me though is that 'usually' I dont 'hunt' for these , as they are impromptu in nature.

My cousin once commented: " Dude, you could talk someones ear off, as you know a lot about many things, and I think you need to say more, because you're too quiet." "Too quiet - too introverted" is something I've heard through out my life.

I can get by one to one.

Define flow naturally.

I often interrupt. I often pause to search for words. Sometimes I scramble words a bit. But conversation happens.

If I know the person really well it goes much better.

If I know the topic really well it goes better.

If the conversation is very specific it goes better.

I can keep a conversation flowing if I'm interested in the subject and feel comfortable talking about it to the person, and if the other person doesn't dominate the conversation completely (if they talk a lot and don't pause much, then I don't really know how to get a word in).

However, most of the time I have major trouble keeping the conversation flowing, especially if it's small talk or a subject I have no interest or knowledge about, or if I'm talking to a person I don't feel comfortable with. I usually feel like my conversations are "forced" rather than natural.

one on one I can awkwardly converse, more than that I get flustered by al the monitoring of whats going on around me and I draw blanks

Im not to bad with conversations although if its a topic i know well then it flows well but if im not familiarise with that topic then i struggle but overall im improving all the time.