symptoms of being an aspie or just my personality?

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hi there,

i am an 22 year old aspie/ocd male. throughout my life i have had difficulty with almost everything, from basic tasks to things adults do. i can not maintain a routine for a considerable amount of time, whether be it working out or holding a job. the longest i have been employed is about a month before quitting...i have a long track record of quitting jobs and needless to say, i am unemployed right now. i also have problems with hygiene, as i rarely brush my teeth, hair and take baths/showers a couple of times per week at best. my sleep, especially recently, has become brutal, as I find myself staying awake on purpose once or twice a week. i dont go to school btw (i graduated hs several years ago). i almost always give in to temptations as i eat one meal of fast food every day, buy candy bars whenever i want or recently, bought a relatively pricey new phone and contract, and considered financing a new car eventhough i have only government benefits. also, i always want the best as soon as possible, such as a pretty girl or what have you. i have a very low amount of self-esteem and am very self-conscious about my facial expression, gait, posture, weight, looks etc. i have a habit of skipping appointments, with for example a vocational counsellor, doctor, therapist and so on. i ruminate a lot as well. i have never had a girlfriend, a fact that haunts me on a daily basis, and have one friend at best. i have a very hard time telling if a girl likes me or not, and tend to interpret and analyze every expression that a girl has (ie. whether she sits next/behind/in front of me on the bus etc.). i also have this weird thing that i snub girls that i like and tend to fall in love with the ones that i like. anyway, that's my story. so tell me, are these the symptoms of aspergers/mental health issues or do they reflect my lazyness? also, what can i do to change? thanks.

I this could be related to AS. People frequently talk about those with AS needing routines, but the key word here is "need", not "keep". People with AS often have transition problems that makes keeping routines difficult. You likely have a transition problem,and when you do resolve to make a transition, you likely think to much about doing it, and it seems much greater a task than it actually is. Is this correct?



I don't think this is related to AS. Rather, I think this is just a self control problem. Perhaps some type of dielectical or cognitive behavioral therapy would help with this.



They are probably things you would like to improve on but haven't gotten to, thus it's on your mind a lot.



Some people with AS are prompt and reliable, and some aren't. Why do you skip your appointments? Sometimes this can be a sign of depression.



Well if you want to get a girlfriend, you will have to have good hygiene....or find a girl who has the same level of hygiene as you..

I think most people have a difficult time deciphering whether or not someone likes them. This is only compounded in those with AS. It's also not uncommon for people to avoid those they are attracted to. It's not exclusive to AS.



You haven't said anything that would be exclusively indicative of AS, though the difficulty keeping up with every day things might suggest you should investigate that rout more. I certainly couldn't say you don't have AS. However, AS or not, it sounds as if you have other things going on that I think you should bring up with your therapist or counselor.

As for what can you do to change, you have already taken the first step in changing, as you have acknowledged your problems. You can start addressing them bu choosing one thing to work on. For example, you can resolve to brush your teeth at least once a day.

Don't think about having to do, don't think about having to do it every day, just choose a time where you just go in there, do it, and get it over with, and then it's done.

I think that you're looking at things the wrong way. It is not an either/or situation. AS shapes your personality, so a lot of aspects of your personality are due to AS; however, AS does not determine your personality. So you can probably change and improve some of these things with hard work and therapy and a lot of self examination. It's possible that medication may help. It is not easy, and you may find that some things cannot be changed. You will have to accept that you probably will always be somewhat different from most people, but it is possible to improve.