ALWAYS thinking what others think about you

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i always think what others are thinking about me: at home, when driving (thinking/looking at cars behind me etc.), in the public, in the gym etc. and after that, i reflect on these thoughts further. i am very very self conscious. i am a diagnosed aspie, so maybe my diagnosis reinforces my belief that i am weird and leads me to think what others think when they look at me (ie. my gait, arm position when i walk etc.) what is wrong with me and is this a normal aspie symptom?

i can not think the thoughts that others think about me. i can only think the thoughts that i think about me.

how can anyone think someone else's thoughts? that is something i fundamentally can not understand.
i can only think my own thoughts because my brain is inside my skull.

It sounds like low self esteem to me. People with it worry too much what others think of them. My ex was that way except he would make assumptions and assume that's what they were thinking.

My problem isn't that I have an issue with who I am, I just worry that others might.

i feel the same way but its not cuz am my aspsegers ppl r always judging me and making fun of me when i am alone cuz well i dont know i am not talking or doin anything werid my huntch is its the way i look dress long hair flowing though a backwards hat, bangs coveing one eye piecing showing from othter eye two s earings, ether black t shrit or other colored t shirts and hoodiees with ether a metal band on them or some skate clothes with skulls or somthing craazy, grifiti or other flashey rebleish s**t. cargo pants with a stud belt a stud branclet and a pocket chain sometimes wear black or purple eye liner i am proud to be a emetalhead/punk/skater dude and i guess cuz i dont conform they judge me also i blast music from skull candy headphones metal/punk/classic rock/post hardcore/grundge/post grundge/ alturitive/hardcore punk/ grindcore / rap thats actully gud and not the s**t u hear on mainstream radio also maybe cuz i have a necklace with a huge frame of my girlfreind with grafit that says on it i love julieanne moncion and if she breaks up with me i try to kill myself i jumped in front of a car and my freind pulled me back and slaped me when i was goin threw stress when she dumped me cuz ppl were making her feel bad and she felt lost and wasnt in the right state of mind to date me but now she says she loves me cuz i treat her awasome and i wear that to show how much she means to me without her i dont wanna live shes a part of me i will be there for her always cuz shes that gud a person she doesnt even know i have aspegers nor would she care she loves me for who i am she thinks i am normal cuz to her werid doesnt matter cuz she is shelded from those feeilfgs of love . basicllay jus think of those who care about u and dont let ppl bother u i almost lost julieanne cuz she cared what ppl think but i got her back so be happy with what u got

What you said is absolutely correct. We cannot think the thoughts of other people so usually when we think people are thinking certain thoughts about us it usually isn't true.

I do not typically think about what other people think about me, although I appreciate when they share their thoughts about me.

Last night, a couple of people shared some astoundingly counterfactual thoughts about me with me and expected me to privilege their perceptions over my own. I'm having trouble letting go of this because they are wrong, and this creates dissonance in my world. They are wrong, and they expect me to interact with them as if they are correct. This isn't possible.

I constantly wonder what people think of me. I really wish I knew. I just have no idea. Generally, the times that people have volunteered the information, what I have found out had nothing in common with what I had expected.

This problem tends to come and go for me.. When I am in "hermit mode" I don't care what others think of me, interact with people very rarely and those few I do interact with think like me and are quite happy to tell me what they are thinking in regards to me.. So I don't need to *worry* about what they are thinking of me.

However when I am studying in a classroom environment or working or whatever I do worry about what others might be thinking of me because I seem to be unnaproachable and I'm not sure why this is and since I'm not confident socially because I have no idea if they are thinking positive or negative things or whatever.. I don't fit in, doesn't matter if I try or not it just doesn't happen so yes... I think about - or more accurately worry about what others think of me quite a lot.

I was the same way when I was in High school, but not anymore. I was also the same way in 2007-2009. I played the tough punk so that nobody would see me as a victim or an easy target.

I don't care what people think of me at all.

Because many Aspies have difficulty reading faces, they don't get the same kind of feedback about how people are reacting to them. This is similar to "what they are thinking about me". Because this often leads to awkward social moments, it can cause some people to be particularly worried that one of these moments is about to happen. A crude analogy would be a blind person being worried about bumping into something while walking. It's going to happen from time to time, and it is unpleasant, so it will be on your mind.

I'm not constantly worried about what people are thinking, but I do obsess sometimes about situations where I did something "wrong" or awkward. The moments will replay in my mind, and I have to make an effort to not think about them (which, of course, works really well. "Don't think about a purple elephant..")

The advice about not being worried about what other people think is good, but not easy to pull off. Figure out who you want to be, do your best to be that person, and if other people don't like it? (Answer to this question left as an exercise to the reader because this is not in the Adult section of the forums.)

I was self-conscious as a child, but my mother told me that other people probably weren't bothering to think anything about me at all--they were all busy thinking about themselves, and wondering what other people thought of THEM! This made sense (since it was true of me, at least) so I gave up worrying about it.

Years later a friend quoting William S. Burroughs said "What other people think about you is none of your business", which I think is a delightful way to put it. You can't access the knowledge inside the heads of other people, so you'll never know what they really think anyway.

I almost never think about what others think about me. I think this is what they mean by autistics having no empathy. I don't naturally place myself in other's point of view. I have little awareness that other people even think about me. This is one of the things that led me to an autism DX and not paranoid schizophrenia. I perceive the world as utterly indifferent to me. It has no concern for my existence. I am always surprised when I find out that people have been thinking about me, and usually more surprised WHAT they think.

Clearly, this perception of absolute indifference is wrong. My wife cannot call me on the phone without first thinking of me. But, also a contraindication of schizophrenia, I am able to adjust my thinking when confronted with contrary evidence. As I learn that people DO think about me, I am able to gain a more complete picture of reality. A schizophrenic cannot adjust their reality.

Strangely, when actually focused on a person, as in a meaningful conversation, I can deeply empathize with their position. It's as if I can construct a temporary shell that I can step into. But it is abstract.

Nicely said, and in my own case as one with no "self-identity" or whatever, knowing what other people think about me is necessary in relation to my adjustment of self-perception.


I do not do that as well as what you have just said happens to sound to me, but yes, I also do that.