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Needing to Hold things On Your Lap

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Kiseki
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05 Feb 2011, 10:37 am

For as long as I can remember, whenever I'm sitting I feel very uncomfortable if I'm not holding something on my lap. On a sofa I instinctively grab a cushion. If I'm out in a restaurant I keep my purse there. I carry a bookbag too and use that.

Is this an AS thing? Anyone else do it? If I don't have something on my lap I feel really unsafe and unsure of where to put my hands and how to cross my legs. I just feel like I need the security.


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syrella
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05 Feb 2011, 10:58 am

I hold my own hands while sitting down quite often and if I do have a book bag or something else to put in my lap, I'll often do that. I think it's just a matter of making yourself more comfortable. It could also be a subconscious defense mechanism or something.

Example)
http://www.cupidnights.com/dating-advic ... le-16.html
http://changingminds.org/techniques/bod ... e_body.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb9gJMCHFkk

Thanks for bringing up this topic... I'm gonna look up stuff about body language now! :D


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LabPet
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05 Feb 2011, 11:15 am

Kiseki wrote:
For as long as I can remember, whenever I'm sitting I feel very uncomfortable if I'm not holding something on my lap. On a sofa I instinctively grab a cushion. If I'm out in a restaurant I keep my purse there. I carry a bookbag too and use that.

Is this an AS thing? Anyone else do it? If I don't have something on my lap I feel really unsafe and unsure of where to put my hands and how to cross my legs. I just feel like I need the security.


Myself too - strange you mentioned! Somehow I feel more 'grounded' whilst holding something, inexplicably. Related, I almost need to carry something in my hand if I'm walking about (exempt from exercise, of course). Rarely are my hands empty - even if it's just carrying a pencil. When seated I like a blanket or cover-up, if possible. Or I just fidget a lot :)

About AS....it's occured to me although I cannot know. Proprioception (sensation of awareness of one's limbs/physicality in space) is affected in any ASD and why weighted blankets can afford great relief - same concept, I think.

btw, I LOVE my weighted blanket and it helps with sleep too. Kiseki, there are weighted lap pads on the market too. Quite astute you'd correlate that to AS.


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Kiseki
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05 Feb 2011, 11:20 am

LabPet wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
For as long as I can remember, whenever I'm sitting I feel very uncomfortable if I'm not holding something on my lap. On a sofa I instinctively grab a cushion. If I'm out in a restaurant I keep my purse there. I carry a bookbag too and use that.

Is this an AS thing? Anyone else do it? If I don't have something on my lap I feel really unsafe and unsure of where to put my hands and how to cross my legs. I just feel like I need the security.


Myself too - strange you mentioned! Somehow I feel more 'grounded' whilst holding something, inexplicably. Related, I almost need to carry something in my hand if I'm walking about (exempt from exercise, of course). Rarely are my hands empty - even if it's just carrying a pencil. When seated I like a blanket or cover-up, if possible. Or I just fidget a lot :)

About AS....it's occured to me although I cannot know. Proprioception (sensation of awareness of one's limbs/physicality in space) is affected in any ASD and why weighted blankets can afford great relief - same concept, I think.

btw, I LOVE my weighted blanket and it helps with sleep too. Kiseki, there are weighted lap pads on the market too. Quite astute you'd correlate that to AS.


I would love to have a weighted blanket! It's my goal someday to get one. I currently use 3 usual blankets.

Anyway, I'm really glad other people can relate to this. People I meet are constantly asking me why I do this. NTs think it is weird :(


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Kiseki
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05 Feb 2011, 11:24 am

syrella wrote:
I hold my own hands while sitting down quite often and if I do have a book bag or something else to put in my lap, I'll often do that. I think it's just a matter of making yourself more comfortable. It could also be a subconscious defense mechanism or something.

Example)
http://www.cupidnights.com/dating-advic ... le-16.html
http://changingminds.org/techniques/bod ... e_body.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb9gJMCHFkk

Thanks for bringing up this topic... I'm gonna look up stuff about body language now! :D


Oh, I think you may be right! I think it's a combination of sensory things and a defense mechanism.

Actually, when I was doing training for my current job, one of the trainers told me I had negative body language! I was like "What are you talking about? No, I don't!" Apparently it was because I felt very uncomfortable in my work clothes and was also forced to sit on the floor in a group with nothing to hold. I guess I was slouching or sitting strangely or folding my arms across my chest or something.


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the_curmudge
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05 Feb 2011, 5:52 pm

I don't do this; on the other hand I never sit with my lap completely exposed and facing forward. On a sofa I wedge myself into a corner and curl up, on an armless chair I sit at a 45 degree angle, and on an armchair I drape my legs over an arm.



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05 Feb 2011, 7:31 pm

I don't think that is an AS trait. I've noticed that women in general tend to do that when they are feeling uncomfortable.


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syrella
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06 Feb 2011, 12:25 am

Yensid wrote:
I don't think that is an AS trait. I've noticed that women in general tend to do that when they are feeling uncomfortable.

I agree. It isn't an AS trait, but still interesting to think about.


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06 Feb 2011, 12:30 am

Kiseki wrote:
For as long as I can remember, whenever I'm sitting I feel very uncomfortable if I'm not holding something on my lap. On a sofa I instinctively grab a cushion. If I'm out in a restaurant I keep my purse there. I carry a bookbag too and use that.

Is this an AS thing? Anyone else do it? If I don't have something on my lap I feel really unsafe and unsure of where to put my hands and how to cross my legs. I just feel like I need the security.


I don't usually put things in my lap, but like if I have nothing to lean on when I'm standing, I feel unsafe and unsure like that. I feel like gravity's a bit uncertain.



Kiseki
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06 Feb 2011, 12:32 am

Yensid wrote:
I don't think that is an AS trait. I've noticed that women in general tend to do that when they are feeling uncomfortable.


Yes, but I do it all of the time. Does that mean I always feel uncomfortable? If so...I wonder why.


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06 Feb 2011, 12:35 am

Kiseki wrote:
Yensid wrote:
I don't think that is an AS trait. I've noticed that women in general tend to do that when they are feeling uncomfortable.


Yes, but I do it all of the time. Does that mean I always feel uncomfortable? If so...I wonder why.


Technically I am doing it in a chair, simply due to the pressure on my body from sitting down.

It could be proprioception? I found several of my issues in a large store were mitigated when I had a cart I could lean on and put pressure on my arms.



buryuntime
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06 Feb 2011, 12:38 am

Yes. I want a lap pad.

I don't really need to as badly if I'm sitting cross-legged, which is my favorite sitting position.



Kiseki
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06 Feb 2011, 12:41 am

Verdandi wrote:
It could be proprioception? I found several of my issues in a large store were mitigated when I had a cart I could lean on and put pressure on my arms.


What is that? yes, I always feel better leaning on things. I like to press myself up against the wall behind my bed. Right now I have a blanket over my legs. I'm perfectly calm too, just sitting in my house.

When I was a kid I carried a blanket around all of the time. My mom said my name for it was "Favorite" ;)


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Kiseki
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06 Feb 2011, 12:44 am

Wow, this is very interesting. I do/have most of these:

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder. ... ction.html


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06 Feb 2011, 12:46 am

Improperly functioning proprioception is why I constantly walk into furniture:

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-proprioception.htm



Kiseki
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06 Feb 2011, 12:54 am

Verdandi wrote:
Improperly functioning proprioception is why I constantly walk into furniture:

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-proprioception.htm


Yup, me too. And I have to think about where I am putting my foot on stairs. If I become distracted I have a tendency to overjudge or underestimate and then I trip.


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