anyone else encounter violent strangers?

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I have been victim many time of what seemed like random acts of violence, but nowdays I am starting to think that certain people not only expect your attention when you are in their presence but sometimes demand it. I think that I inadvertantly offended some very concieted people by not publicly acknowledging them, so now the very same type of people that have conciously ignored me for my entire life resort to bullying to engage me in their childish, attention starved, and mostly uninteresting behavior. How can this world possibly be this cruel?

Most of the people that know me do not pick fights with me. When I got into fights when I was in my late teens-early thirties it was with people I did not know who were insulting me so I would walk away then they would jump me. I would also get attacked by drunks a lot as well because I have to walk past three bars. Now I carry mace when people see me pull the can out they walk away very quickly even if they are drunk.

Sounds like such a person wants you to play second fiddle.

"Whoa!" Said with matter-of-fact confidence and matter-of-fact surprise. Might be one of your better bets to respond. I guess it depends on how big a bully the person is.

I recommend my post "Tight, Defensive Boxing to a Draw." Primarily only with people the same size. You don't want it to come to this. You definitely don't want to boast. And you don't want to take a bunch of blows to the head during training. But as far as a baseline of confidence, sure, it is one more positive thing. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616. ... 53953497ae

Surprisingly (given where I live) I've only been attacked once; I was around 13 and coming home with two friends from a local fun-fair that had one hour free rides so we always hung-out there, ahead of us were a group of four kids and the oldest girl started shouting at us, they held back until we reached them and the oldest girl focused on me presumingly as I was freakishly tall next to my friends, and I refused to bite when she was baiting me with stupid comments - she was older, bigger and wearing platform boots while kicking me in my head - someone finally pulled over to get her off me, she claimed I had started a fight. I still have problems with my jaw as a result of this attack.

It just seemed she wanted attention and to prove herself as a big person.

Might just be bad luck. There are a lot of crazy people in the world. Just make sure you look confident as you walk past those types. Predators sense uncertainty.

The only similar story I have is once I was sitting on a nearly deserted subway car and suddenly a huge man was in front of me with his fist cocked. He said I looked at him funny. I explained that I had barely noticed him at all at which point he backed off and fled at the next stop.. He was probably crazy.

One thing to watch is that you don't want to develop that "chip on your shoulder" counter aggressive attitude that former bully victims sometimes project. I had that for years and it's just a waste of time. There is insufficient need for it in the adult world and you'll just end up causing more problems for yourself than it solves. I would create ugly situations from very little provocation. It's just nonsense.

My social studies teacher went to NYU in the late 70's he told me he had to ride the subway by himself a lot so he got some rebar that he cut down so you could hide it inside a folded newspaper. He duct taped two pieces together for more weight so they would know someone hit them. If someone walked up to him like they were up to something he made sure to smack it on the seat next to him so they knew to leave him a lone. He still kept it on his desk in a folded newspaper back in the 80's when I was in high school. It probably would not of helped you in your situation I just think it is a cool story.

Your observations correlate with my own.
Until now I have been struggling to identify what I was doing that would cause or increase the probability that someone would spontaneously begin an unprovoked attack.
This has happened to me on several occasions (all in good daylight and public areas) and in various locations with no discernable or distinct cause.
Twice the attacks were physical and brutal although the attackers were not intoxicated or visibly ill and nor did they seem to be demanding any usual or particular service commonly associated with violent crime.

I am aware of what to look for in bullies as I have been extensively introduced to this phenomenon. However, the random acts of violence do seem peculiar, even to an analytical mind.

Personality disorders anyone?

You'd be surprised at the quantity of hidden nutters out there. But the reality is we are all at least a 'little nuts.'
But really though ,the broken homes with marginal parents, breeds this. Sure there is a genetic componet to it, but it could be quelled down or tamed.

I have the knack of attracting the loons-- some lady out in the streets looked at me shouted, " YOU," and then pointed at me, and repeated "Yes you and don't run!" The vibe was a psychotic one here.

Or some stranger approaches me with a grand conspiracy theory of why the world is heading 'south.' He went into an in depth discourse of how it is and why it is the way it is; it wasnt a ramble as it was coherent, but the context was way out there.

Yeah it happens, there are lots of weird people !
Once when i was in my early 20's, walking home from a disco with a girlfriend of mine, we were followed by a group of maybe 6 drunk guys. They were walking behind us and commenting about our bottoms , when suddently one blurts out "do you like to take it in the a** ?" so my aspie ridiculousness kicked in and i turned around and asked " do YOU like to take it in the a**?"

Boy what had i not said. The guy grabbed be by the hair and held me up against a wall (by the hair...i have solid hair i guess) and proceeded shouting in my face in order to prove he was straight. A long debate followed, during which "his friends" were telling "my friend" that i had insulted him, i said he had insulted me first and bla bla bla, all the while being held by the hair. I got out of it by telling the guy, after a moment " we can talk about this , but right now you're hurting me a little" , believe it or not, he let me go saying "oh yeah, sorry" ( )
So we "resolved our conflict" as quick as possible, and we ran home. Very close call there...

My sister once got slapped in the face by a perfect stranger in the street. Some folks are just nuts....

I was held up at gunpoint in N.Y., at age 22. Pretty scary experience, and what made it worse is that I only had 4 dollars on me. As I have processing difficulties when strange, unexpected things happen to me, I guess I acted pretty calm when it happened- (I didn´t freak out until later). I even kind of remember smiling at the man politely while handing over my 4 dollars! (I guess I went into "this is what you should do in social situations" mode). Anyway, after that, he was giving me some instructions about what he wanted me to do, but he spoke so garbled, I couldn´t understand really. Something about wanting me to walk to the other end of the platform, where I knew his sidekick was waiting. Instead, I turned in the other direction and ran away. I knew he could have shot me, but luckily, he didn´t, so I got away unscathed.....though my nerves were totally shot once I had processed the whole thing! I couldn´t sleep that night.

Loads more stories of general "creepy" types who´ve approached me out on the street, but I won´t get into that here. But I could write a book about it!

I was on my way home from an OA meeting one night, walking home. A few kids were calling me things like Thrifty Threads and saying that they wanted to be exactly like me. I couldn't understand why the voices weren't fading, so I turned my head and saw three grease balls pacing up behind me. I've managed to lose them somehow.

I don't know if this counts but here was this weird guy I ran into last August and I got away. I said I had to go and walked away. I couldn't be direct with him by telling him "You're a pervert creep, good bye" because I didn't know what kind of person he is and he could assault me as far as I know for insulting him. But everyone leaves me alone.

And another time when I was 14, I got on the bumper boats and I was bumping into my little brother and there was this little boy who looked to be about four. He was steering his bumper boat as well while his mother (I thought it was his mother than his grandmother until my mother told me she heard him say "grandma") and she was sitting next to him. I kept pumping into him too and finally our boats made waves and I bumped into his boat again and got the lady's legs all wet. I apologized for it and she started splashing some water at me saying "You b***h, I told you I did not want to get wet." Well that really hurt and I wished I should have just kept bumping into her more to tick her off and watch her get even angrier and watch her yell insults at me.
Then after the ride, she gets off and said "That girl is a b***h, she got me all wet" and the men who were working there said "Why did you get on the ride for?"

I don't know if this counts too but I was grocery shopping and this young lady walks up to me and tries to sell me her food stamp card. But she wanted $40 bucks and I said forget it. She said she needed to buy a ticket for the bus and decided to trade her food stamp card for it but she wanted too much. Then my husband told me it was a scam. Well good thing I don't give out huge bucks to strangers and it doesn't cost forty bucks for a ticket but my husband told me she may have meant Grayhound. I thought she meant the public transportation here. Oh well but at least I didn't have to learn it the hard way. As far as I know the food stamp card could have been empty or she could have been an undercover cop looking for people to bust for illegal activities. He also told me what she was doing was illegal and you can go to jail for it.

I know there have probably been similar events, but the only situation I can think of off the top of my head is from when I was in Japan.

Some middle-aged guy on the street asked me a question, "Where is the police station?" So I, happy that I actually knew the answer, replied that it was just down the street a little, to the left. You can't miss it.

He asks where I'm from, I saw the U.S. No problem there. The guy's curious. I get that a lot. He asks a few more tiny questions, before finally jumping to, "Would you like to go to dinner with me?"

That's when the warning bells go off inside my head. So I luckily remember how to say "I'm not interested. I need to go" and leave as calmly and quickly as I can.

OK, so it wasn't THAT bad, but the thing is, it happened very close to my host family's place. I also was well aware that I, as a foreigner, stood out like a sore thumb. I also know that Japan happens to not be great with women's rights and most cases of rape and domestic abuse go unnoticed or ignored (or worse yet, are blamed on the victim), even with foreign women. So yeah, needless to say, I was pretty freaked out and didn't want to go home. I eventually did and it was fine, but I wasn't a happy camper for a few days walking around near my place. As if I needed more reasons not to want to go outside.

Knock on wood, of course, but I'm surprised that I haven't run into more bad situations. I'm usually rather out of it and too trusting for my own good. I guess paranoia and avoidance does pay off.

The other day there was a guy and he was loitering in the front of a store I bought some food storage containers in. I walked to my car, keeping an eye on the dude, because, around here, people often get robbed or whatnot when they aren't paying attention to strangers loitering around a store.
Before I got my bags in the backseat, the guy turned to walk toward the store's entrance. He looked at me and said "Hello. How are you?"
I wasn't expecting him to say anything to me, so I didn't say anything back. He got really pissed off at that and started yelling that I had a staring problem. I thought he was getting irate, so I jumped in my car, put my purse beside me, petted my dog, put the key in the ignition, put on my seatbelt, and started my car as fast as possible. All this after I locked the doors.
I put it in reverse, backed out, put it in forward and sped away.