Does anyone else not 'get' Valentine's Day?

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Ikonovich
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14 Feb 2011, 9:24 pm

I suspect that many here do not.


I got my significant other something for Valentine's Day, of course (I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid!) and yet I still do not understand the purpose of receiving fluffy things, flowers, and other ornamental-type gifts or, indeed, the necessity of having a specific day to give them. I guess this applies to Christmas and such as well, but Valentine's seems to be the day when the most absolutely pointless stuff is given.

I do not see why people give or desire gifts that serve no useful purpose. My SO still occasionally insists on giving me stuffed animal things, which I inevitably put in some mild position of honor due to her expectations, until the next one comes along and the old one is recycled to wherever women store their fluffy things. But I do not really want them, I simply tolerate them because she prefers that I do and it's not a notable inconvenience.

It makes very little sense to me. Why would you desire to waste time and money on such useless things?


Further, having a single day set aside to show affection also strikes me as odd, since I believe that most people would say that the ideal would be affection distributed throughout the year, and that there shouldn't be a holiday set aside to force you to show it.



jmnixon95
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14 Feb 2011, 9:34 pm

Detesting/claiming to not understand Valentine's Day has become cliché.



Ikonovich
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14 Feb 2011, 9:38 pm

jmnixon95 wrote:
Detesting/claiming to not understand Valentine's Day has become cliché.



I suppose that's true.


I don't detest it, I simply don't understand why people spend so much time and money on it. The same actually applies to Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, New Years, etc, etc...But it's Valentine's Day right now so it's a the forefront.



CockneyRebel
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14 Feb 2011, 9:39 pm

I don't understand why it has to be a Hallmark holiday. You can be nice to your partner all year round. Why just do it on Valentine's Day?


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jmnixon95
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14 Feb 2011, 9:40 pm

Ikonovich wrote:
jmnixon95 wrote:
Detesting/claiming to not understand Valentine's Day has become cliché.



I suppose that's true.


I don't detest it, I simply don't understand why people spend so much time and money on it. The same actually applies to Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, New Years, etc, etc...But it's Valentine's Day right now so it's a the forefront.


Yep. My parents don't really celebrate it; we do celebrate the other holidays you mentioned, however.



jmnixon95
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14 Feb 2011, 9:41 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't understand why it has to be a Hallmark holiday. You can be nice to your partner all year round. Why just do it on Valentine's Day?


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Ikonovich
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14 Feb 2011, 9:41 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't understand why it has to be a Hallmark holiday. You can be nice to your partner all year round. Why just do it on Valentine's Day?



This is one of my primary points. If you're in a serious relationship you shouldn't need a day to force you to do special things with/for your SO.



BenAcel
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14 Feb 2011, 9:43 pm

I think Valentines day is about love and shouldn't be about money.



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14 Feb 2011, 10:05 pm

I only buy a box of chocolates for my husband. I do it frugally. You don't need to spend tons of money on someone. I love chocolate so I know he will share some with me. Valentine's Day is perfect for it. :lol: My husband buys me chocolate too and I like to share it with him but he lets me have all of it. That's all we do for it. But we don't wait till the 14th to do it. We do it when it gets near like two days before or the day before. We do it around the 14th.


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14 Feb 2011, 10:51 pm

IMO, it's yet another reason for some or all of the following:

-make single people depressed
-make those in relationships feel guilty if they don't buy the "perfect" gift (or anything at all) for their SO
-make more money for the card/candy/frilly novelty gift companies

Hope that didn't sound too cynical.

Here's some info about the real St Valentine:

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/94286/who ... valentine/


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Last edited by conundrum on 14 Feb 2011, 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

raisedbyignorance
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14 Feb 2011, 10:53 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't understand why it has to be a Hallmark holiday. You can be nice to your partner all year round. Why just do it on Valentine's Day?


Exactly.

Days such as Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, and Christmas are holidays that have become a strict obligation. It's all wrong IMO. Christmas is supposed to be a holiday of peace but peace should be a year round deal, same with Valentine's being about love and gifts. It shouldn't be restricted to a single commercialized holiday because in the end it only sucks away at the value and meaning behind the day.



y-pod
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14 Feb 2011, 11:16 pm

I use Valentine's day to get chocolate, lots of that for myself and other people in the family. That doesn't seem too bad at all. We don't do cards and I only bought some flowers that are really cheap. I bought the flowers, chocolate and everything myself, so DH didn't have to do anything and I get exactly my favorite stuff, works for me. If I ever date a guy who'd order a big flower arrangement online and have it delivered to me, I'd know he's not the right type for me. I want to be a millionaire someday, and a guy who'd put flowers on credit card is not likely to have millions in his lifetime.

My first son who's on the spectrum refused to use any store bought little Valentine cards because they're all girly and cheesy. He grudgingly started making his own, and was close to tears after making just a few, and his class has 30 kids. I told him he didn't have to do it at all, it's totally optional. He was so happy. :D

I suspect hating Valentine stuff is not related to autism, there are loads of people who don't like it at all.



Last edited by y-pod on 14 Feb 2011, 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kedman
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14 Feb 2011, 11:18 pm

I don't think Valentine's Day (or any other holiday in which gift-giving is the norm these days) is any different per se than it was 50 years ago, it's just that the in the modern age these holidays have been overly commercialized. We're bombarded by TV/radio advertising that tell everyone you HAVE to buy their item to prove your devotion...otherwise you're not. And so everyone buys into it...literally!

Having said that, I will admit that I got my wife a dozen long-stem red roses today. Why? Because I do love her, I'm really crappy with words or actions sometimes that show it otherwise, and she puts up with a heck of a lot of BS from me. :wink:

I also don't get why anyone gives what I call 'dust-collectors' as presents. I'm a very utilitarian person. I love getting things I can actually use, but can't stand receiving anything that is considered ornamental in nature. That's why I consider the large package of beef jerky that my wife got me for Valentine's Day the perfect gift. :D



analyser23
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14 Feb 2011, 11:27 pm

As I said on a similar thread, what I like about Valentine's Day is that it DOES make people communicate their Love. Those that say that they can do it any day of the year.... DO they???
Other than that, if you are in a secure relationship, then it can just be a fun day. Couples can do as big or as little as they wish to with it. I think, like anything, it is simply what you choose to make of it. I like giving gifts - giving gifts is my Love Language. I enjoyed the opportunity to get my partner a gift he was really wanting coupled with it being a fun day. In some ways, it kind of gave me permission to get him a gift :)


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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14 Feb 2011, 11:34 pm

"Here honey, some chocolates to make you feel bloated and fat and some flowers that will be dead within a week. I love you... today."

Yeah... I don't get it, either. It always felt hollow to me.


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